Kudos to German TV channel RTL2 for showing "The Life of Brian" on Easter Sunday!

Describe #DonaldTrump with just one word (without calling him a cünt). I'll start with Ignoramus Over to you lot...

I read this yesterday - brilliant.

Will do, BP.

My sleep patterns seem to swing between long and luxurious (last night) and short and shitty (night before) with no ground in between.

I feel that Bluesky is a little slow today in updating feeds. Anybody else?

Tonight's lullabys - Diary of Dreams "Bird Without Wings" #lullabys #DiaryofDreams #BirdWithoutWings

Attention all citizens of #Wülferhampton: apparently there is a smocking ban in the UK. What else are we peasants supposed to wear?

Tonight's lullabys - Caravan "Cunning Stunts" #lullabys #Caravan #CunningStunts (Glad I got the spelling right.)

It would seem that a considerable sleep deficit crept up on me - I just slept for 11 1/2 hours.💤💤💤

Fuck Sky Deutschland! Big problems with Sky Q 2 weeks ago, so Sky sent me a new receiver/remote last week. Set up doesn't work. Decided to switch to Sky Stream. New hardware arrived today. Seems the remote is dud, so I can't set it up. New remote being sent. No customer service. Fuck Sky Deutschland

Tonight's lullabys - Tenhi "Väre" #lullabys #Tenhi #Väre Need something quiet and soothing.

Why do fat, flabby, middle-aged men (yes, Newcastle fans, I mean you) consider it OK to take their shirts off at football matches?🤢🤮

Tonight's lullabys - Steven Wilson "The Raven That Refused To Sing" #lullabys #StevenWilson #TheRavenThatRefusedToSing

I just did my bit for democracy, voted in the local elections. 3 voting slips, the largest of which was the size of a large pillow case (seriously).

Rugby France/England 6 Nations - terrible choice of shirt colours, the French (pale blue) and the English (white) are really hard to tell apart. The only distinguishing feature are the socks (France red, England dark blue). #rugby #6nations #FRAENG

What a game!🏉🏉 #rugby #IRESCO #6Nations

Tonight's lullabys - Sting "The Soul Cages" Wonderful songs about his relationship to his father. #lullabys #Sting #TheSoulCages

Sleep's a funny old thing, isn't it? If I take a nap in the afternoon, I'm off almost the instant my head touches the pillow, my dreams are usually vivid and sometimes wild. When I go to bed at night, it can take up to 2 hours for me to drop off, and dreams are often dark and scary. Anybody else?

Tonight's lullabys - Spock's Beard "The Kindness of Strangers" #lullabys #Spock'sBeard #TheKindnessofStrangers

Today, it's possible to increase the value of your car by 50% just by filling the fuel tank.

Bastards. Bastards everywhere. In the car park. In the supermarket. At the checkouts. Bastards.

Trying to watch Atalanta Bergamo vs. Bayern München on my laptop on Amazon Prime (I know, I know). I say trying - the picture quaility is like watching a match on my TV while not weaaring my glasses. 1 minute sharp, 30 seconds blurred. Thanks, Amazon.

Just off the phone from #Sky customer support. It seems my remote is buggered, they will send a new one. The lady "helping" me spoke with a very strong Polish accent, and was very difficult to understand - it was like pulling teeth. So now I wait and see...

Now it's fucking #Sky again! Remote and receiver not connecting, picture frozen on TV. Tried everything I know. Same problem I had last year, when after 5 days they reluctantly sent me a new receiver (which I first had to update). Massively pissed off today. Gin may be involved later.

Fuck Facebook. I just want to download the photos I have there to my laptop, and then delete my account, which I no longer use. I can't log in. User name and phone number are not recognized, password is correct. I can get through via my mobile phone, no problem. Any ideas? Fuck Facebook.

Tonight's lullabys - Genesis "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway" #lullabys #Genesis #TheLambLiesDownOnBroadway

Läuft #SVD #SV98 #SVDKSV #Lilien

Local elections here next Sunday - I've got 37 votes! #Kommunalwahl

Tonight's lullabys - The Watch "Vacuum" #lullabys #TheWatch #Vacuum The best album that Genesis never made!

OK, singletons - what's everybody cooking/eating tonight? For me it's the Hairy Bikers' recipe for bacon cauliflower cheese. Bon appetit!

Tonight's lullabys - Dream Theater "Systematic Chaos" #lullabys #DreamTheater #SystematicChaos

Tonight's lullabys - Robert Palmer "Clues" #lullabys #RobertPalmer #Clues

Long queues at my local petrol stations this afternoon...

Tonight's lullabys - No-Man "Returning Jesus" #lullabys #No-Man #ReturningJesus

Tonight's lullabys - Metallica "Master of Puppets" Released 40 years ago today (03.03.1986)! #lullabys #Metallica #MasterofPuppets

Trump is so full of shit that his diaper is now causing nappy rash on his neck.

My sympathy with the tax-dodging Instagram influencers in Dubai can be measured in homeopathic potencies.

Major panic attack in the middle of the night, probably reacting to the Trump/Iran news. The same thing happened when Putin invaded Ukraine - that resulted in my being written off work for 5 months. Bollocks.

"Gorton and Denton" now being muted for a few days...

Tonight's lullabys - Sigur Rós "Hvarf/Heim" #lullabys #SigurRós #Hvarf/Heim

13° C, blue skies, and sunny today. And it's blowing a hoolie...

Läuft #SVD #SV98 #SVDarmstadt98 #Lilien

Tonight's lullabys - Green Carnation "A Blessing in Disguise" #lullabys #GreenCarnation #ABlessinginDisguise

Tonight's lullabys - The Gathering "Mandylion" #lullabys #TheGathering #Mandylion

How do the citizens of #Wülferhampton feel about this? Administering the fatal blow?

My radio station of choice here in Germany, #RockAntenne, has just opened its 12 o'clock news with the story of Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. Laughing, moi?

Tonight's lullabys - Kaipa "Notes from the Past" #lullabys #Kaipa #NotesfromthePast

A word of warning to my fellow citizens of #Wülferhampton (and elsewhere):