"Aw, why do you use the old desktop app? The web client is way faster!" At this point a program could say that it will repeatedly stab me in the leg the entire time I'm using it and I would be like "Okay but do I need 2FA to get into it? No? Get stabbing then."

The ballot for the 2026 Entrancing Awards is live! Come read 56 gay hypno furry stories, and vote on your favorites! www.furaffinity.net/journal/1133... Voting will remain open until May 15th. After that time we'll close voting and begin tallying votes. #entrancingawards

Just saw someone hit a post with a "ai;dr" and boy am I gonna be adding that one to my toolbelt. It captures the perfect dismissive go-fuck-yourself that I'm looking to convey without me having to put in 1000x as much effort into a response as they did into the slop.

Trying to silently convey to the security guard that I can't lower the window of my car because there's a yellowjacket on my side mirror and he will get in.

cw: noncon, mind control, mind break I love making Arabella do increasingly evil shit to my friends

Fuuuuccckk you ever get a kiss where you are just not in control of the situation at ALL and you just kinda keep hanging on for more of whatever’s happening to you? Yeah hhhgggh~~

#duncanandeddie Me explaining to my non-furry friend who had only read pages 20-23 why they're perfect for each other:

The author's brazen fetish, presented with such hedonistic flair and and open pride it makes you feel a little embarassed for needing to hide your own passions behind self-effacing jokes in order to preserve a sense of safe, pseudo-ironic detachment

"I'm too hot!" Wait three hours and it'll be too cold again. You know how it is in March.

This is always the most honest and unfiltered feedback on exactly what your brand is. "Oh did you write about the horny rubber wolves?" Yes! Yes, that was me~

"None of the things you said were... strictly false, but I'm gonna have you roll deception anyways." Good. As it should be.

The two business models now are “how do they charge nothing and make so much money?” And “How do they charge so much and lose so much money?”

Me: Yeah this game is pretty good. I think I'll stick with it. Steam: You have played this for 33 hours in the last 4 days! Me: Shhhhh dammit I'm trying to be chill about this!

No, no but like, the GOOD Torment Nexus, you must understand.

You know what, motivational Digimon comic.

This is hilarious. Also, completely enraging.

Really can't have shit these days. The 'banking freedom' legislation is actually about THIS. They don't care that porn or freedom of expression is being infringed.

While I'm driving there: "Where you at? Get in here! We 👏 need 👏 to 👏 start 👏immediately 👏" After I arrive: "Sit the fuck down! Your work order isn't approved. You 👏 need 👏 to 👏 wait 👏for 👏 two 👏hours 👏"

I mean it comes down to a boring "that's hard to believe." And realizing that faith is something that you either have or don't I guess? If I could believe, then I would, if that makes any sense. If I doubt and want proof, then it is because He made me do so, yeah? Well and there's also this:

New Guy: Yeah I understand what your boss said about you now. Me: Oh? NG: Yeah he said if you ask Beau a technical question you will either get exactly the information you need instantly or you'll get "skill issue, have you tried not fucking it up?" Me: People should TRY that before they talk to me!

People keep saying that four casters is the ideal party comp but I find that if you have two casters and two fixed wheels it gives you better steering and stability.

If you ever need any structure to be stronger, just cum on it. Then it's load bearing.

This captures so well the strange dissonance of living in America. All over the place there are toys and gadgets and fun little treats, all of which are cheap and readily available. Meanwhile all the necessities of life are ruinously expensive.

Me: Fugizat? Them: It's a button-pusher. Me: Lmao same

New guy: Wait, I asked if I should do that you said "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Me: Yeah if I were YOU I certainly wouldn't. But I'm ME. New Guy: ... Me: So I did it.

The voices in my head want to be me and it's super hot~

If zorro is Spanish for fox, is that the name of Antonio Banderas' fursoña?

So when the cops mishandled evidence and acted extremely suspicious and completely torpedoed their own case, was that trial an instance of Luigi Wins by Doing Nothing? youtu.be/McYFuyG7SII?...

In the event of a water landing, your fellow passengers can be used as flotation devices. Just find, or attach, their orange ripcord handle and then pull sharply on it to inflate them. Do not inflate your friends until you have safely exited the aircraft.

Both parties definitely seem to be in a position of "Why would we chase votes? We still get elected even when we push wildly unpopular policies." The democrats have "blue no matter who" and the republicans have "yeah we're gonna hurt you REAL bad but we'll hurt people different from you even more".

God, the realest part is that no bathtubs are person-sized anymore.

New guy on phone: Hey it's doin' this and then this, what causes that? Me: Did you wire it correctly? NGOP: Yes Me: No you fucking didn't, check it again. NG: *calls back 10 minutes later* okay yeah I wired it wrong Me:

“It’s just a job…” I repeat to myself, as it defines my gender presentation, clothing, social circle, medical care, housing, conversation topics, thought process, education, diet, exercise routine, physical toll, dreams and desires, fears and anxieties, relationships, environment, “It’s just a job.”

Newguy: So are you allowed to do it like that? Me: It satisfies the requirements of the procedure and it doesn't say NOT to do that. NG: Yeah but like have you asked? Me: Why would I ASK? They might say NO. NG: What does ops think of it? Me: They haven't seen me doing it like that yet!

"We invented pornographic art tens of thousands of years before written language." - @funkittoys.bsky.social points out that history has always been ✨💕fucked💕✨, as illustrated by @erikamoen.bsky.social Public post with references: www.patreon.com/posts/150935...

Me earlier: Oh this has THC and caffeine in it. Never tried that combo before, I wonder what that will be like. Me later:

Explaining art inconsistencies with "my character is a shapeshifter and he doesn't tend to sweat the details when he turns back".

Well of course I learned your pronouns right away, but now that we know each other a little better, maybe I’d like to… learn some of your adjectives~

Is stealin ya gurl like scavenging a kill? Is that why hyenas are so good at it?

Degrading kink but instead of being mean it’s rolling back your software upgrages.

Can't even feel up the HVAC employees these days damn

Seedle Space Neattle

Glad for having done so much writing there's an editor in my head. Me: Yeah I'll just take some naloxone to clear my nose. Brain: Narcan? M: No, the other one, fluoxetene B: Antipsichotic. M: Fluoxenalone B: That one is not real. M: Flu... tic-ah-zone? B: Yes Fluticasone is real and will help nose

How your email finds me

So often what people are asking Warcrimes McGillicutty's Famous Natural Resource Destroying Machine to do is "take a selection of stock elements and combine them together seamlessly". We already have people who are good at that, graphic designers! Consider hitting one up! Recommendation below:

agree with this (hah) but also think a particular mistake the left made for a long time online, and still makes to an extent, is failing to understand that the person whose mind you may actually change is the one reading the argument you're having, not the one you're arguing with

At the tiki restaurant last night Them: Hey could any of you guys help us finish thi- Me: Hi Them: How did you get over here so fast and where did you get that fork? Just scavenger moments