Sean Kelly
@seankelly.biz
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📝 733
NASA reject ⎸ Python hacker ⎸ science fiction and science fact ⎸ /ʃɔːn/ /ˈkɛli/ ⎸ Also jokes
The more I think about, the more I'm convinced New Mexico Tech in the 1990s was just an Emacs indoctrination center
1 day ago
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Sorry, Fancy Ketchup: tonight is a sweatpants and nuggets situation
2 days ago
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"Honestly, I didn't want to be polite in front of the minorities anymore. I just didn't think he'd also set the world on fire." — MAGA realization
3 days ago
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reposted by
Sean Kelly
Rodger Sherman
3 days ago
Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.
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@dadsaysjokes.com
wish you’d come back to Blue Sky 😢
7 days ago
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Never figured out what the Knights in White sat in I’m guessing brown
8 days ago
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reposted by
Sean Kelly
Richard Kadrey
8 days ago
Christmas night: "But Santa, you've hardly touched your Zardoz cookies."
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Anyone get MobileMe working? I'm trying to get to the activation URL but I keep getting a 301 redirect to iCloud 🤷
8 days ago
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Joked in January that Trump regime would target accessibility as being "woke" Not a joke: • Rubio bans Calibri for being DEI-A ("accessible") • Trump boots sign language interpreters as they make him look weak What's next? • Nix wheelchair ramps? • Ban subtitles? • White-on-white websites?
8 days ago
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reposted by
Sean Kelly
DocAtCDI
9 days ago
Someone threw a beer at Trump at one of his rallies. It’s okay; it was draft beer, so... He dodged it.
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DENTIST: Have you been brushing twice a day? ME: [with stunningly immaculate hair] Pfft. More like five times!
9 days ago
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11 days ago
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Holy moly it’s iWeb and the video still works
www.apple.com/welcomescree...
loading . . .
Welcome to iWeb
https://www.apple.com/welcomescreen/ilife/iweb-3/
12 days ago
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ME: buys a 20-pack of clementines ME: throws out 1 moldy one per day ME: eats the lone survivor on day 20 ME: vows to just buy navel oranges from now on
13 days ago
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I see dead people Although according to the charges, the law calls it "necrophilia"
14 days ago
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[pours wine] [sprinkles rose petals] [dims lights] [puts on Barry White] [lights candles] [burns incense] [arranges scented oils] [opens incognito browser window]
14 days ago
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Rumi quotes are great, sure, but to give credit use — not ~
14 days ago
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Blacklight flashlights are used to detect scorpions!
15 days ago
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Change “popular” to “poplar” and you get a bonus pun!
add a skeleton here at some point
15 days ago
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reposted by
Sean Kelly
Grant Alba
17 days ago
#booksky
#launch
We're getting really close to the publication of DESTINY - the first book in the Auditor series, a galaxy spanning exploration of agency, choice, adaptation, acceptance, and reconciliation. This relationship driven science fiction thriller shows the power of partnership & agency
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Grok did not correct me
15 days ago
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You getting low on this
@chromeeh.nl
? 😉
16 days ago
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[at night] ME: Okay, tuck in, little ones! It's bedtime. Here's our story ME: [opening book] ME: "The Shining", by Stephen King
18 days ago
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[first day on the International Space Station] ME: [grinds fresh pepper over food] ME: Oh ME: Oh no
18 days ago
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I'm still cleaning up glitter from my daughter's 2nd grade project (She turned 25 this year)
20 days ago
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Fear of belly buttons is called "Omphalophobia" I know this because I studied at the Navel Academy
23 days ago
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BOUNCER: "Your friends can go in but not you—you go home." ME: “Perfect, say it *just like that* when I turn up later.”
26 days ago
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BOSS: I have some bad news about your contract ME: What is it? BOSS: You better sit down ME: I have a standing desk (that was the end of the conversation)
about 1 month ago
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Dark but hilarious! 😂
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Sean Kelly
DocAtCDI
about 1 month ago
Frank was skydiving for the first time. He couldn't open his chute. As he looked down, he saw a guy in an apron flying up towards him. Frank: Hey! Do you know how to open a parachute? Guy: No! Do you know how to light a barbecue?
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That is darling! 😂
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Friday the 13th is on Thursday this month 🫤
about 1 month ago
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Before the "accident" they were "Duran Duran Duran"
about 1 month ago
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EARLY HUMAN: [builds first house] HOUSE FLY: Finally!
about 1 month ago
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DOCTOR: Congrats! It's a boy! What're you gonna name him? ME: [vomiting] DOCTOR: Ralph it is, then
about 1 month ago
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ME: [in medieval armor] I'd like to book a room HOTEL RECEPTIONIST: How many nights? ME: [lifting visor] Just me
about 1 month ago
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[restaurant kitchen] CHEF: I need lettuce! SOUS CHEF: Iceberg, right? A head? OTHER CHEF THAT SURVIVED THE TITANIC: Oh no not again
about 1 month ago
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[restaurant kitchen] CHEF: I need lettuce! SOUS CHEF: Iceberg, right? A head? OTHER CHEF THAT SURVIVED THE TITANIC: Oh no not again
about 1 month ago
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[restaurant kitchen] CHEF: I need lettuce! SOUS CHEF: Iceberg, right? A head? OTHER CHEF THAT SURVIVED THE TITANIC: Oh no not again
about 1 month ago
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People in horror movies must live in an alternate universe where there are no horror movies
about 1 month ago
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[date night] SHE: So, I’m a model ME: Wow, you look so real
about 2 months ago
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Next time you have to support a config file, avoid: • YAML • JSON • INI • TOML • XML • HCL • S-expressions • Dhall Instead, embrace classical formats like: • printcap • termcap
about 2 months ago
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[karate class] INSTRUCTOR: Hiyah! ME: Hello
about 2 months ago
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Hannibal Lecter's shopping list: ① Fava beans ② A nice chianti ③ Dave
about 2 months ago
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AI challenge: "What long distance provider should I choose for my iPhone?" • CLAUDE: There's some confusion here—you don't have to • DEEPSEEK: That's for old landlines • GEMINI: You do not need to worry about it • CHATGPT: Key features to evaluate…recommended providers include…my recommendation…
about 2 months ago
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@crosswordnation.bsky.social
today’s LA times mini crossword: terrible
about 2 months ago
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Moon Pies are fantastic if your favorite flavor is "dry"
about 2 months ago
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ME: [to my cricket girlfriend] You still love me babe? CRICKET GF: [cricket sounds] ME: Is that "yes" in cricket language or awkward silence?
about 2 months ago
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MATH FUN! Because there are always pregnant people, the average number of skeletons in a body is greater than one
2 months ago
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SECURITY QUESTION: What was the last name of your first grade teacher? MY FIRST GRADE TEACHER HACKING MY BANK ACCOUNT: I'm in
2 months ago
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