Going to Waffle House would fix me.

Post your most daddy pic Having my Daniel Craig moment in Hawaii

i can't get it out of my head, but "that was a misspoke" is so george w bush-coded

Finished this one a couple days ago. Didn't love it at first, but a couple of the characters were really relatable and sucked me in hard. 3.5/5

Happy Kristi Noem Got Fired Day to all who celebrate!

Feeling bummed out lately and needing my comfort watch movie

Betteridge's Law of Headlines

Got re-verified after a little blip so now it's my duty as the most official looking Taco Bell account on here to report once again that eating Taco Bell makes you gay

No sorry I'm not having a good day I was mildly inconvenienced 8 hours ago and it's been eating away at my soul ever since, but thank you for asking

'Sandra stressed that "we just want to be treated like people with rights"' Somebody call up Alanis.

Co-Star is choosing violence today

This novel sucked lol. I couldn't tell if the author had never read a single screenplay before or was writing a terrible screenplay as his 22 year old character.

Fucking loser shit.

Totino's party pizza is at the top of my list and it's not even close

Constantly refreshing my feed to see if this temper tantrum finally causes a blood vessel to burst in his brain

Accidentally triple repping Bob's Burgers today

It's so weird reading that it's "Fat Tuesday" and not have a word in between like "Fat Cock Tuesday" or "Fat Ass Tuesday". Wtf body part am I supposed to be posting?

After a rocky relationship with reading during 10+ years working in publishing, I decided to start reading again 2 weeks ago and I'm somehow on my 3rd novel already 🫠

Got a new ebook reader and made a slipcase for it :)

Today's newsletter: New piece: after the Guthrie kidnapping, the Kirk assassination, and both Minneapolis shootings, the same thing happened every time. People asked AI to "enhance" blurry footage. AI invented faces. www.readtpa.com/p/computer-e...

Thought I would escape my retail job by reading and within the first 15 pages there's a shop owner getting deranged questions from a weird customer

This was not worth the effort, btw

A sane person who looks in their pantry and finds they're out of cereal would just buy cereal in the morning. That's what a sane person would do.

Oops, stoned. 😵‍💫

nevermind spanish, some of you have three days to learn how to dance

DAY 9 - EMMA, CYCLOPS and JEAN / DEATH BECOMES HER

got tickets to this summer's broken social scene/stars/metric show and i don't have to tell you these bands are playing on repeat for the next 4 months

MAGA people going on TV to complain about Bad Bunny doing the Super Bowl always have to mock his stage name while enthusiastically telling you to watch their halftime show starring a man in his late 50s who calls himself “Kid Rock”

is your city dying or did they just take away the crawlspace behind the photo studio at work so you can't take a nap on the clock anymore? hard to say, really.

No one is shopping, so today at work I'm knitting, reading my birthday tarot, and getting high.

My business isn't closed today, but we still stand in solidarity with Minnesota and immigrants everywhere. 10% of sales from this weekend will be donated to the Immigrant Rapid Response Fund to help people who need rent and food assistance.

❤️

Yes, I will make you feel bad for opening your mouth.

Here's an idea: if you wouldn't comment on someone's unhealthy weight gain, don't comment on someone's unhealthy weight loss. Or just don't comment on anyone's appearance ever. Really fucking simple.

just doing our part

One of my story posts (@etymologynerd.bsky.social reel that is critical of IG's repost button) got censored on Instagram last night, so today I downloaded UpScrolled. Find me there at @phuong

I will lose it if Candace Owens starts stumping for metrification

"first it was global warming and now it's climate change. that proves it's not real" we also don't still call it phlogiston when we burn oxygen and hydrogen and produce water. sorry you failed every critical thinking section of the lesson plan, i guess?

Invited 3 boyfriends to the same party and they're all coming 🙊🙈🙉

I love how they openly provide us with the keys to defeating the AI uprising

I regret to inform you that adding pandan to leftover eggnog is really frickin good

Maybe the real engagement was the friends we made along the way

More than 200,000 Danish citizens have signed a petition to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland. They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”

I wasn't even ALIVE 10 years ago. I'm literally a baby.

The success of Heated Rivalry gives me the confidence to officially come out as a hockey fan. Go Sharks! 🦈 🏒🩵

Likewise, if you know when to use "whom" correctly, don't be afraid to do it! Don't dumb down your own intelligence.

If you don’t know how to use “whom,” you should just use “who.” Seeing a baffling number of people who seem to think it’s like an “a” vs. “an” situation.

3 spent sharpies later