Do I need a 7th boyfriend?

I'm glad that my misrecognition of one hot millennial dad with a baby stroller for another hot millennial dad with a baby stroller has not negatively impacted me in the least

I'm not from NYC and I don't really have skin in the game, but someone needs to give Curtis Sliwa a podcast

It's not hard to spell "Zohran" correctly. It truly is not.

it's "laid him on the green" not "lady mondegreen"

do i need a 5th boyfriend?

Domino's doesn't deliver to our new apartment and I am DEVASTATED

I'm sorry to anyone who finds this Survivor kid super annoying, but he has an absolute dump truck, wtf

If your whole thing is using generative AI just to dunk on it, consider launching yourself into the sun

I'm gonna cry, I just had to explain to a gen z kid that this Selena is not Selena Gomez, but actually a popular tejano singer from the 90s who was murdered by the president of her fan club and was ultimately played by Jennifer Lopez in a very good biopic

This little old man is my everything

She gets all the flowers. I mean ALL of them. If we see her, we immediately have to give her flowers.

This little old man is my everything

Our regular Survivor host isn't hosting this week so I have 16 minutes to figure how to watch tonight's episode live and I don't know what to do!

My employee was born in 1997 and had no idea about the existence of this movie so now I'm wondering if I should force her to stop all work and sit down for an hour and 40 minutes for a proper education

Listening to the soundtrack today is such a vibe

this bitch is 100% telling on himself

Here's the recipe and it only took half an hour!

noe valley sidewalk sprayer guy looked at the weather report this morning and said his hose was better than god opening up the skies and bearing down the volume of 12,000 olympic sized pools on san francisco

before i post it on the work ig, i gotta show you guys this pumpkin spice latte fudge i made last night

Happy Indigenous Peoples’ Day

the way i screwed up tax returns for the last two years and now have to figure out what the fuck i did 😵‍💫

My friend Matt Inman made a great comic about AI…

I can't wait to see Margot Robbie win an Oscar for portraying the final 5 seconds of this clip

Cracker Barrel Vance sticker spotted in Denver, Colorado

All I want to do in life is be a little bear in my blue coat and red hat and just eat marmalade sandwiches all day long

can someone ratatouille me? i don't want to think for myself anymore

i wrote about The Life of a Showgirl

Anyone wanna tell me what's going on with literally anything right now?

my friends are going out tonight and i already promised them i'd go out but what they don't know is i also have a date with a fat ass joint and my couch and my friends are second tier tbqh

Steve Jobs would have burnt apple to the ground before he let this happen to the N and M keys

People who don't understand rhetorical questions as jokes are truly operating on a whole different plane

Just me and my parrot, hanging out being bros

Someone needs to invent a gel pack that I can heat up and wear like a vest

Man, if you don't completely and unabashedly love Brennan Lee Mulligan, I don't know if I can be friends with you

"Streisand Effect. You ever hear of it? I bet you never heard of it before but I heard about it. She's a Terrible Woman. Some say it should be called the TRUMP EFFECT since everybody LOVES Trump. You take it away and no one talks about it anymore. That's the Trump Effect in action. Best Action."

Theme park idea: RAPTURELAND You pre-register for entry and at the gate, a dude dressed as St Peter checks your name off a list and gives you white robes. You pass through the pearly gates and all the mascots are biblically accurate angels.

sounds like something a nazi who doesn't want to be called a nazi would say

Saffron risotto with charred asparagus and pan fried sardines, finished with Aleppo pepper garlic olive oil and lemon zest

i'm gonna make the craziest risotto tonight and my fiance has no idea

How to get raptured today in 4 easy steps: 1. get pregnant, get tylenol 2. radioactive shrimp 3. ??? 4. RAPTURE!

people online will fight tooth and nail against the quick and easy phrase "defund the police" because it's "not accurate" and then not offer a better alternative that isn't "transfer funds from police departments to fund social services" REALLY ROLLS OFF THE TONGUE, MARTHA.

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

Joke's on everyone. Rapture already happened, no one got taken away, and that's why we're all living in hell now

Scenes from a weekend

Customer: YOU LOVE THE COOK DMV: YOU LOVE THE COCK Verdict: DENIED

I was pretty late to covering AI but seemed to get it right in February 2023 www.wheresyoured.at/degenerative...