Curious if other people call it the "Macy's Day Parade"? I have always lived in New York State though never in NYC but we have always called it that

Imagine you were a man in a position where your superior called a female coworker "piggy" pointedly and you said NOTHING. Who are these other men who just accept that

I think my favorite thing about Trump calling a female reporter "piggy" this weekend is that neither she or ANY OTHER reporter stood up for her. What absolute cowards.

Were your early comedy tastes influenced by your parents? I grew up loving SNL, Steve Martin, Monty Python, and the Muppets because of what they exposed me to

Sad that Black Friday is nothing like it used to be. With so many online deals, gone are the days when we would see shoppers in Walmart straight up assaulting one another over a cheap flat-screen TV at 5am.

Before I see Wicked: For Good, I need to know Oz's stance on LGTBQ rights - because I see what they have done with Munchkins and Animals and I want to know where we stand

This is a weird thesis for me - while I love the podcast, they are all wildly successful artists

I still have old little black tubs from Lush fresh face masks in a drawer that say $6.50 and now they are 16 DOLLARS

I love Ariana so much, yet very time I see her I feel as if should she eat a muffin I would see the outline of a muffin on her torso

Must be amazing to be a Na'vi - Sully just went and left his life and all of humanity behind the moment he got a taste of that blussy

So cool when the plot of a movie is spoiled by a toy release months before the premiere

It must suck to be a vegetarian bird and realize that the feeder you have been visiting for months was like 60% suet

It's great how the internet is run by like 3 companies

Oh, the White House finally released a photo of that reporter that Trump scolded at on Air Force One and I guess we all overreacted

Wow I thought it was "America First" but now the Trump Administration is helping British sex traffickers? Jeez Louise, exonerate all the US ones first before going international.

So cool having to go to international news sites for proper coverage of the Trump administration, but at least in the US I get daily updates about the Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni legal battle

Going to Great Wolf Lodge for a vacation is the kid equivalent of gays going on an Atlantis Cruise

We keep thinking his supporters will be convinced to show some disgust when he calls a female reporter who asked him a question "Piggy" on fucking Air Force One, but his base - male and female - eat. that. shit. up.

Watching a Yorgos Lanthimos film and I won't tell you which one but I'll give you a hint it's about a lobster

There's only movies so that there's new popcorn buckets

Do Conservatives get into Pedophilia or do Pedophiles get into Conservatism

Made a new Ponytail Palm friend this weekend

Are brain worms sexually transmitted because It would explain a lot about Olivia Nuzzi

Saw some of my favs today

Dude walked into the locker room on a phone call, took the world’s most vile room-clearing shit, washed his hands and left - never once ejected pausing his conversation. Have people just forgotten how to be in public

Buttchugging preworkout before the gym

Got tickets for the new Yayoi Kusama exhibit this afternoon - it's bananas that she is almost 100 years old and still making art

I woke up at 7am on a Sunday and put on a show about WWII in case anyone was wondering how aging is going

The sound mix was screwed up in our theatre for The Running Man and we talked to the manager after - and rather than apologizing or offering a make-good ticket, he just said “thank for letting us know”

can’t believe they made a whole movie about a dance from 1990 but they did a great job

(French Sabrina Carpenter) une of moi is cute but deux tho I might let you make me jumeaux

One of the fun things about getting older is that one day you can trim your eyebrows all nice and neat and when you wake up the next day you suddenly have exactly one (1) three-inch long eyebrow hair

Installed a new toilet yesterday and the flush is insane

Neal and I both have half-birthdays this week so I made us half a cake

I have like seven streaming services but it seems like whenever something new comes out that I want to see it is on one of the few I do not have

Update: The Trump-Epstein friendship statue is up at Busboys.

Getting really frustrated installing this new toilet; I'm absolutely flushed

It's fun to live in a country where every time you speak with a non-American you feel the need to offer an apology for your nation

Is this why Olivia Nuzzi has brain worms too

I listen to this podcast about the Tudor Dynasty in England from the 15th-17th centuries C.E. and they always have ads for Zoom Tan tanning salons - but like, maybe reevaluate your ad spending because I don't think this is quite your audience mate

If anyone is looking to get our president a Christmas gift (and who isn't) I would like to suggest Prunier XO Cognac which is smooth and delicious and aged 15 years just how he likes it.

The coffee I buy that cost $8 in January is now $12.99 - he was right, we are winning so much that I'm just sick of winning

Started a couple new plants this week 🪴

<extremely Fox News voice> isn't it great that we finally have a President who cares about young people

"No you should watch All's Fair, it's so camp and stupid it's good" actually I hate that woman and will not spend ten hours of my life watching her even ironically.

Megyn Kelly has a 14-year old daughter and this is a fascinating subject to explore!