This is a good video to watch if you want to understand where the bar is currently set for NYC mayors www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9Cm...

LET FREEDOM RING

Pls everyone tell Mamdani to make me the official NYC Sandwich Czar.

I love stumbling upon little @baseball-reference.com easter eggs. It's no longer the case, but it used to be that if you searched for "fuckface" it brought you to Billy Ripken's page.

IMO a sandwich from Subway is far better as a righteous projectile than as a viable lunch option.

Wonder why this scene looks so familiar... #WildlifeWednesday 🐦🐕

Freelancers: what’s the right amount of time to wait before following up on an unpaid invoice without seeming desperate or annoying the client out of giving you more work/money?

When you lose stump-necked, anti-vaxxing, rightwing kookifried jailbird Lenny Dykstra...

FUN FACT: In 1998 alone, confirmed NYC subway commuter John Olerud posted a 7.6 WAR, more than double the total of John Rocker's entire career.

what if one of the strategies they settle on from this is "tormenting the actor michael rappaport"

Is there nothing we can find for Brad Lander to comptrol?

If you don’t like the new mayor then get your own fuckin mayor alright?

I knew it would take less than a day for a tiktok dj to make something.

Looking at electoral maps reminds me that practically every Staten Island neighborhood name sounds like it was made up for Grand Theft Auto.

A 34-year-old as a politician: My god he's like a baby. It's like they just elected an infant to be their mayor. A 34-year-old as an athlete: You have to admire the bravery of him attempting that dunk, knowing full well the grim reaper is right behind him.

Brad Lander is at the victory party and, folks, he has the custom one-of-one “GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE” shirt.

Won’t someone think of the billionaires

Do we have a date set for when Andrew Cuomo moves to Florida, and is there enough time to plan a ticker tape parade to show him out?

I'd vote against Cuomo a third time if I could

I really thought the diarrhea plane would turn things around and make voters love Republicans again sad

Being more principled than Andrew Cuomo is the lowest possible bar. Please don’t mistake Curtis Sliwa for anything other than the world class dipshit that he is.

"Do you recognize that sandwich?" is an all-timer cross-examination question.

Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest. The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says. "I could smell the onions and mustard."

Satan, laughing, spreads his wings

Peace out suckers

I agree with this sentiment but the perception/reality gap around Mamdani in general is already astounding. Yesterday I spoke to someone who lives within 5 miles of NYC who believes Mamdani’s goal is for the city to take over *all* supermarkets, like he’s planning to muscle out Trader Joe.

NYC is going to have the world's biggest media-manufactured crime panic in history the second Mamdani is elected. They aren't even going to wait until he is inaugurated. Whether or not you like the guy, you need to start preparing now for the fire hose of disinformation that is about to activate.

parenting is mainly about trying to sell your kids on outright lies like “eating Nerds before breakfast is a bad idea, buddy”

Basically every candy bar is filled with some combination of caramel, nougat, nuts and crispy rice but Butterfingers are out on their own island. The delicious interior of a Butterfinger bar comes from the bark of the Butterfinger Elm, which grows throughout Pennsylvania, western Maryland and Ohio.

Cuomo does not care about any of the problems we face in NYC right now nor does he care about any of the good parts of NYC. He is a joyless soul-sucking power-hungry autocrat who would be an indescribibly bad mayor. Let's make sure this future doesn't come to be.

Happy to report that six-seven backlash has finally arrived in earnest at my kids’ elementary school. We’re almost through this thing.

I don’t think Andrew Cuomo is as racist as he is morally bankrupt. I think he’s being extra performatively racist lately because someone at some strategy meeting told him it was his only shot at winning. He’s probably also racist, but I think his lone guiding belief is “I deserve to be in charge.”

Who would you say is baseball’s Main Shane? I think a lot of people would say Victorino but I am a big Shane Mack guy.

Proud to say I still have no clue what Strauss is.

I like how Zohran Mamdani scandals are like "He called his old cousin his aunt one time" and Andrew Cuomo scandals are like "He sexually assaulted 13 women."

If you assume a plate appearance every other inning (~4.5 PA/9), reaching nine times in 50 innings is still a .360 OBP, which is well above league average. To drop that below this year's league average of .315, you'd have to go to 58 innings.

How many innings long would a baseball game need to be before it’s not that impressive for a guy to get on base nine times? Like 45-50?

Kudos to the guy in my fantasy football league who chose the team name explicitly to set up this joke

More incentive

Since this seems to be the discourse today, I’ll say: it’s actually really easy to explain why Trump sucks to an 8-year-old, way easier than it probably would’ve been with, like, George W. Bush. “He doesn’t believe in sharing.” Done. Kids know sharing to be a virtue, Trump’s adamantly opposed to it.

Keep in mind that the Blue Jays also have the moral and spiritual high ground.

You speak of Blake Snell as if he’s not the man who once gave you cause to put the word “slapdick” in a headline on the main page.

It must be awful embarrassing if you're one of the guys on the Dodgers who isn't a first ballot Hall of Famer.

Ugh. Again, I apologize. I just thought “Pol Pot” sounded cool and I guess I didn’t do enough research. Once you officially change your name on your passport and everything, it’s really hard to undo it.

What’s your favorite 90s alt rock song where the acoustic guitar guy does a little hammer on/hammer off riff over an open D chord?

Winner-takes-one-guy-from-loser-into-next-round has been a crazy dream of mine for years, in basically any sport. If teams are big rivals maybe you gotta just take a bench guy or rookie because the main guys hate your team enough to sabotage you from within. Basically anyone should do that to LA

What if instead of playing Game 7, the Blue Jays and Mariners settled on a truce and agreed to send their best 26 guys to go beat the shit out of the Dodgers, for humanity’s sake?

The No Kings protests of 2025 have proven far more popular than the Yas Queen protests of 2015

Condolences to the band Diarrhea Planet on their loss of search-engine position. Have to figure they didn’t anticipate this.