I grow weary of your incessant whining. Your taxes have been undone.

following you to the bank

service that perishes your thoughts to the cloud

you have the day off but you must publicly praise a marvel television show. will you proceed or will you blink

bovine divine sunshine Political? - a poem

think like the devil become the devil. think like a man.... well. who knows what coul d happen next

lets all post our blood pressure

you can only get into heaven if youve never stared deeply into a home Depot paint swatch

twitch dot co dot uk

pre-loved pornographic VHS tapes

the rate your body is decaying is unsustainable. I'm afraid we're going to have to dock your pay and cut your hours. Jimmy John's executive management offers its most sincere apologies

Im eating you from the inside out and you MUST finish the battle pass to stop me

fun idea for a birthday party: we all quit our jobs and raze a national forest

fire alarm with a Boston accent

in just a few days i'll be opening @framefatales.com's frost fatales with some rootin' tootin' cowboys! with @swampbrat.bsky.social, @anarchyasf.com, and @sapphire-in-pink.bsky.social, couldn't ask for a better posse to back me up on comms. see y'all there on sunday!

blasts you with unimaginable force

i could do a lot of harm but i wouldnt because society protects me from various harms. Thinking about religion too

the united states government is fracking my balls for functioning sperm

to me the title of the play is Juliet and Romeo but i have twisted ideas about gender

i told your neighbors about you and now theyre gunowners

"These are the chains I forged in life!!" maybe just drink some fucking water and stop watching youtube shorts until 3am maybe calm down

theres a type of kill that hasnt been discovered yet. Today is the day

you cant park here

gathering all stepdads. Collecting all stepdads for the big step dad race. taking all bets who is your favorite stepdad

i carry turpentine in case a trans woman tries to show me her miniatures

curse upon your turntable

stub my toe so hard i become the legendary super saiyan and accidentally kill my neighbors dog

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

bitch so feral she failed the harkness test

*at my parents divorce papers* this is so hype!!!

downgrades your firmware. gives you 8 viruses

want to eat a candle

british person running at you full speed

a pescatarian wench who kind of wants your ass dead

vegan mythril

the feminine urge to chuck all of your belongings onto the freeway and go smoke in a wendys parking lot

give her some of the old mustard

considering being a "doer". actions and such or an activity if the devil strikes my fancy

i think a dictatorship would be fine if the dictator were nice and my friend

new egg preparation method: smash with fist, boil in honey, send to prison for 5 years. serve with sunflower seeds

more organs should be optional so I can replace them with rare organs with better stats/features

spent a lot of today in the torment nexus but I did in fact put that shit on for day 2!! SOOOO thankful to @swampbrat.bsky.social who is the best human being ever and gifted me a pair of shoes I’ve been wanting for YEARS for Christmas I have lived so many lives in only the last 24 hours but we up

developing a game that cuts off all your fingers. battle pass and seasonal content

having a great time at the obelisk.

the devil's greatest trick is that theres two devils

true intimacy is being crushed into a fine powder and being used to create soap

one day someone will offer you fresh bread and you'll have to say no. And youll live with that the rest of your life

anyone want to make a tower of babel with me. My contractor says its actually pretty easy and the other guys didnt know what the fuck they were doing. ours is also cryptocurrency

idiot yoda: ate your car keys i did