the devil's greatest trick is that theres two devils

true intimacy is being crushed into a fine powder and being used to create soap

british person running at you full speed

one day someone will offer you fresh bread and you'll have to say no. And youll live with that the rest of your life

anyone want to make a tower of babel with me. My contractor says its actually pretty easy and the other guys didnt know what the fuck they were doing. ours is also cryptocurrency

idiot yoda: ate your car keys i did

jim carrey improvised all the parts in The Mask when stanley ipkiss puts on the mask and starts acting crazy. in the script it's just a normal mask

kills you. Im not joking. This is it

when she

im so hungry computer print me out the legendary blade of my ancestors

court wizard gf

on the red carpet for the theatrical release of my butthole

traps you in my cupboard. doesnt feed you. moves away

to me having rabies is a green flag

breasting boobily down to the unemployment office

pchew pachaow (thats me when im hitting you with my car)

Spend Blood Points to imbue your attacks with magical effects, such as Wet and Upsetting.

dont worry about me thats just my chronic carbon monoxide poisoning acting up

quit your job and sever your desires to inspire future generations

putting all of my ducks in a row and teaching them media literacy

biblically speaking i think you look like shit

burying you with my money so you can order a pizza or some toys if you get bored i love you goodnight

"if im winch you then im winch you" said the spider to the fly

video games are a terrorist attack on your core beliefs

made of bugs gf

offloading my inflamed intestines to the cloud for monitoring

your high school principal is running full speed at your car. He Must Not Die

gods perfect little homo just robbed a bank in portland maine. Why didnt you stop her

Cold cut elemental

"These are the chains I forged in life!!" maybe just drink some fucking water and stop watching youtube shorts until 3am maybe calm down

setting up tourist traps throughout your innards

the magnificent healing power of true friendship should allow you the same privileges as a military discount but here we are

The ape counter playing ape escape for the first time: ive never seen anything like this in my life. Wow

turning in all of my woke points for a thermos that says "they/xer daddy and PROUD"

a casino based economy would fix me

who is participating in bomb threat january

i told your neighbors about you and now theyre gunowners

for christmas i got you all labias (preowned)

happy holidays eats all of your rare stones and plastics

assigned cheddar biscuit at birth (this is the ideal actually)

Go ahead try and stop me from "buying a gun" i'll go to CVS and buy a gun right now. Or wall greens

computer eat 5 pounds of raw beef. computer get depression.

im shaped

sniff sniff. sniff. ew! sniff. what the! sniff sniff sniff. sniff

my favorite magical creature is a woman who gets a good night of sleep !

hollow Knight hollow earth and so on

the latest super hero! Paintman he can eat paint to be sick and go to the hospital

burger: legend of the star Crystals for the mega drive

british person running at you full speed