I have smithed specialized blades to fight every type of bug

I have made sex once or twice

Emasculated by a craftsman lawnmower

I have a podcast but it’s too good for you to hear. You’ll have to imagine it. I’m sorry. You’re not ready for the “truth”. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Ah, to be a young man and see this band at Alyssa’s parent’s house again. Very good shit.

There are way too many gross little guys flying around right now

Detroiter here. 100%.

Long weekend with absolutely dog shit weather. Thanks America!

Got a copy of CIV’s Set Your Goals on CD for $1.25 and uh that shit rocks

“I wanna rock right now/ I’m Kerry T and I came to get down/I’m not internationally known/but I‘m known to rock the microphone“ Every kid I knew put their own name on that shit. RIP Rob.

I bet it’s really easy to find a bunch of free drugs on the ground after Movement is over

Cool and all that the dopey govt is releasing UFO vids and shit, but until I see a video of a grey alien crushing a Jersey Mike’s sub in area 51, I’m calling bullshit man

You are a soulless bomb-diffusing robot employed by the police dept

You don't hate AI enough.

Send all of my mail to the corner of Pork & Beans

Who all saw that gigantic white ball in the sky??

Eddie Rabitt > Roger Rabbit

“Hast thou shittesh thine trousers?” William Shakespeare

Your Mother’s a whore and your Dad is a civil war reenactor

Robert Palmer’s Double Fun kinda slaps yo

Picked up an early 80’s pressing of Springsteen’s Greetings From Asbury Park today. Nice gatefold too. Finally wore out the OG pressing I had. 😩

4 more LP’s until I complete my Tom Waits collection. I’m not even a completist!

Top 3 achievements in 2026: 1. Beat E.T. to death with a hammer 2. Sold ALF to bushmeat traders 3. Ground up Grogu into wasabi

Helvetia records on the turntable There’s no coming back

Of all the shit I need or want to see in the sky robbed of stars, least of all is the hazy visage of a dumb ass cartoon villain from the 80s

Alex Chilton with diarrhea: “Shittin’ in the back of a car” Send skeet

Pond update:

I’m just a guy at the Y. That’s all that you’ll let me be.

I'm sad to report your uncle made a joke about Grogu having a "sex change operation"

That time I ate a smattering of dicks for dinner

Showing my cats how to eat bugs

Let a giant female stag beetle walk around the worksite today til I heard at least 3 dudes yell “oh shit!” or “what the fuck yo!” Lol I put her outside in the shrubs after.

I dunno man, I think it’s time to go full Luddite style. Give me paper money. Send me a fuckin letter. Nobody wants this AI fuckery. I’ll literally go back to candles at this point

I will NOT comply with measels, scurvy, or the Spanish Flu. I DO NOT give hantavirus permission to repost my pictures, my information or my publications. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308-1 1 308-103 and the Rome statute). Post this in your timeline to TAKE BACK YOUR RIGHTS

Tode is a type of Frawg

Can’t wait til October. It will then be legal to throw a gourd at your head. Dork.

I’m eating the worms, I’m eating the bugs, sue me dickheads

Pee-Wee Herman’s full government name is Penis-Wenis Hermanthaller

Christopher Nolan’s refusal to hire Vangelis as composer for The Odyssey demonstrates his complete contempt for Greek people and culture

Garden pond phase one. Adding aquatic plants/border grasses and stone hidey-holes for frogs tomorrow. Being in your 40’s rocks.

This website loves to crash and eat shit when I upload more than 2 photos. Very cool stuff!

I need the "Buttfucker Blanket"

Barf at the moon

I had a friend in middle and high school named Michael whose catchphrase was “I’m thick, I’m rich, and I’m wet”

Shit sucks, time to drink and smoke dope about it in front of the fireplace since the weather is absolute dogshit too

Love too wear a coat in May

New Brunswick Fat Sandwiches would go hard as fuck in Detroit. I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna get rich off the basement scene/Rutgers frat boy tip.

Heh heh yeah

RFK Jr., preeminent Cum Doctor.

If these strawberries in my garden don’t grow I’m gonna hop on a little cloud like Goku and fight god in heaven