My "this is not a grow op" sign is raising a lot of questions already answered by my "this is not a grow op" sign.

Mr. President, would you like to be driven to Detroit in a long black car?

How many times do I gotta say “Pss Pss Pss” before you twirl your tail around me

I’d rather my neighborhood be overrun by packs of wild dogs than the DTE tree mutilators. Everything looks like shit!

I hate being in this big old house alone, I really do.

Approaching the time of year when the Heroic Dose 🍄 is necessary to reset my brain to factory settings.

It is almost Gorilla Hour

Dude from Dearborn who claimed to be a pastor told me playing the French Horn is “gay” today

Am I covered in questionable tattoos? Yes. Do I have any that could be vaguely considered nazi shit? No. Come on man.

Yep, looks good to me

I do not have real bones. There is a $29.99 Spirit Halloween brand poseable plastic skeleton contained within my flesh.

I don’t care about the White House getting wrecked or whatever. It would be a lot cooler if the president lived in a pimped out RV surrounded by dirt bike tracks

@marilulien.bsky.social is making apple concentrate on the stove and our whole house smells like a Yankee Candle

I love whatever is wrong with them 🙂‍↕️

Using that sora slop is instant imprisonment. Run and go tell your momma and her friends.

Good evening, we have our own stupid mayoral election in Detroit between a competent person and a total moron

As mayor of NYC I would absolutely boycott the Stay Puft Marshmallow Men’s Association Parade

As winter rapidly approaches expect this to become a FFVI account again

Currently watching

Sounds like ICE was/is out in Plymouth today.

Reading my phones notes and loling

love to hear family members being like "can you believe they give $50,000 to refugees for doing nothing i read it on facebook" homie you were forwarding me chain emails about mars inverting the earth's gravity in 2003 you should not be allowed access to the internet

Karaoke is LIT on Livernois tonight

Breaking:

Legendary Detroit Artist Glenn Barr (Ren & Stimpy, lotsa other cool shit) just designed a t-shirt for my guitar shop and I can’t wait to show you.

every burrito is a wet burrito when you’re crying

How am I supposed to know what’s in a tarot card deck? I have a job and a house

Listening to this in front of the fireplace is a whole ass vibe

I shouldn’t have to hear an Allman Brothers song in Union states

Nothing cooler than baking kielbasa and sauerkraut, y’all can quote my polish/german ass on that

Bitch what the fuck is this. It’s OCTOBER.

I think I’ve finally ingested enough Gatorade to become the next American Gladiator

Enjoying a bit of a moon bath currently. 🌖

this is ART

Polaris rocks

Place a bomb at the crack in my kitchen wall if you want the real treasures

This time of year in Michigan is wonderful. I will leave the house this morning in a jacket and will be dying of heatstroke by 4 pm.

Hey babe sorry I didn’t text you back I was studying The Blade

getting in on the nostalgia posting

I bet Rob Zombie’s friends call him Bob Zomb

When I wake up after 10 hours of sleep

Pretty sure I could beat Pete Hegseth in Marvel Vs. Capcom 2

Stand-up comedy is the most overrated art form ever.

Went to CVS recently and got mad about self-checkout but then I heard a Nelly Furtado song and got even madder

I am not in the Epstein files. I am in the Mommy’s angel files.

Pete Hegseth is a classic "guy who gets annihilated by Bugs Bunny"

Rocktober is over make way for Hovember motherfuckers

I made a comic strip once

Hot dogs, tater tots & pickles is the ultimate lazy shithead husband dinner