i'm happy for monty. it doesn't feel like he's been gone for long and, next i see him, he's going to have a nidoking. i've been meaning to find a razor claw.

i'm sorry, why are we discussing eating gym badges?

Look at my lawyer, I'm never going to jail!

don't comment on the shirt; i stole it from one of my brothers.

my sharps container is directly underneath my window—which i like to imagine will lead to a "home alone"esque scenario if someone tries to break in.

maybe you people would have girlfriends if you tried dating women.

it's so kind of my sneasel to wake me up by dry heaving next to my pillow.

purposefully ignoring hints so lesbians can be direct and communicate like adults.

lesbians are so easy. happy pride month to myself.

♡

… fuck it, i'm getting bantu knots.

new law school grads:

asking a toddler to switch seats with me on the plane so i can sit next to their hot mom.

ain't no shortcuts. go through that fire, nigga.

@teammagmamind.bsky.social every detail of your case astounds me – from the courts allowing mr. stone to represent you to the transcripts of your interrogation and your trial. [ ndidi sighs. ] frankly, i don't believe you should have been tried in hoenn.

a reminder, since the johtoan pride parade is tomorrow.

hoenn has become such a hotspot as of late.

A WEB OF THREADED LIES KEEPS ME TETHERED TO YOUR THIGHS, YOU AND I BEHIND THE RAPTURED SKYLINE! == -lit pokemon g/s/c oc. -pokemonrp. -n/sfw for themes and language. -mdni for admin's comfort. -penned by shy, 21+ years old. #PTRP // #POKEMONRP // #OCRP

˚₊‧꒰ა I SMILE UP TO THE SKY, I KNOW I'LL BE ALRIGHT. ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 🪽lit Pokémon SW/SH oc. 🪽post-game continuity. 🪽pokemonrp only. 🪽temporary faceclaim is Robin from HSR. 🪽n/sfw for themes and language, mdni. 🪽penned by shy, 21+ years old. #pokemonrp // #ocrp // #ptrp

if the forretresses win, we're killing him. if the forretresses lose, we're killing him. regardless of the outcome of the forretresses vs. electabuzzes match, he's getting shot.

i'm a master at ignoring my inbox when i'm off the clock — the amount of time it takes me to respond to your stupid email will constitute a billable hour.

niggas are still blowing up goldenrod...

The deity revealed itself and, having mad respect for offering itself up, put the Nidoran on the Moon so its virtue would be remembered forever.

There’s a story about a Nidoran, a Mankey, and a Vulpix who were tested by a deity disguised as a hungry traveler. The Mankey gathered fruit and the Vulpix caught fish, but the Nidoran couldn’t find any food. Wanting to help still, the Nidoran offered its own body as food by jumping into a fire.

95% of gamblers quit right before their big break, yknow.

ninety percent of gamblers leave the voltorb flip table before they hit it big.

you're a free woman now. what are you planning?

rotom, set a pin at the big stone company.

C'mon. Let's finish this.

ugh. maybe dr. margot *should* have came.

almost there.

i went on a date with a kalosian woman last night and she kept saying "yum dot com" after every bite.

"Girl math" and "girl dinner" and "I'm just a girl" and "pink jobs and blue jobs" I COULD BITE THROUGH CONCRETE. EVERY WOMAN NEEDS TO EARN AN EDUCATION AND EIGHT BADGES RIGHT NOW. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. I BELIEVE IN YOU.

i'd say "men should be seen, not heard" but i'd be fine living my life without seeing another one.

As we approach 'Men's Mental Health Awareness Week' coming up on June 14th through the 21st, I'd like to remind ALL the men in my life that you are seen! Your voices are heard! And you ARE wanted in this world!! Now keep it the fuck down, and don't speak until your gay little week pops up, okay~

right. as we do every year at the johtoan pride parade, my firm will be there to help with the process of filing name and gender marker change petitions. this work will be entirely pro-bono – meaning we won't be charging for these services.

i should sew "communicate your desires" into a lesbian flag and fly it at the johtoan pride parade.

blackthorn so gay i just accepted it. a nigga told me i was thick and i was like "you see it" and kept walking. i ain't even gonna argue with niggas no more.

oh, this is what you people do on sundays.

@monty.pokenavs.net mind if we have a rematch today? i'm not sure how long this will last, but i'll be taking a business trip to kalos in a bit.

in light of what i've recently learned: i never thought the liepards would eat my face. oh-oh-oh! i never thouuu~ght... the liepards would eat my face. 🎵

as always, i'll try to land before you.

dr. margot is back. i'm relieved.