Some personal news: I have seized two tankers in the Caribbean. Not sure what I'll do with them.

Strong agree. I dislike epigraphs because I'm not very bright and don't get the reference.

If you're concerned about X dot com generating and sharing CSAM images you can report the app on Google Play etc. I just did this.

The Spanish word for car is "coche". The Argentine word for car is "auto". The Spanish word "bomba" can mean "bomb" or "pump". "Auto bomba" means "fire engine". "Coche bomba" means "car bomb". I explain all this so that you will understand how something very unfortunate just happened...

I am thinking of becoming qualified as a proofreader and, later, a copy editor. Is this a terrible idea? Are YOU a proofreader/copy editor?

Hearing that United sacked Amorim because they -mistakenly- believed that Nicolás Maduro was now available. Another shambolic move from the board. Also that Amorim has had his eye on the Venezuelan presidency since his time at Sporting. More when we have it.

9pm at Buenos Aires city airport. Ther are about 300 people waiting for flights. Not a single one of them is drinking alcohol. It's quite striking if you've ever flown out of Manchester at 5am.

I got to the airport an hour early to meet Josefina and Eva but their coach is running an hour late which means TWO HOURS of performative reading for moi.

Montessori School of the Americas.

Got a coffee at Starbucks. They think my name's Ariel, because I look like a mermaid.

I think Mamdani is great and is this speech, but I couldn't help but wonder: does he have the same tone of voice as Mayor Quimby?

Last night I saw Train Dreams and it was very very sad. I read the novella ten years ago and wasn't half as moved. This proves films are better than books. Or I have a baby daughter now and didn't then.

Just reading about The Game Changers by @timclare.bsky.social and I'm going to quote this whole article at people when they ahem make comments about me playing Scrabble www.theguardian.com/books/2024/o...

When I was 6, my mum announced she was going to start giving my sister (7) and me pocket money, but also she was going to start charging us 2p for biscuits and 5p for packets of crisps. Did anyone else's mum do this? (Sheffield, 1982-ish).

The Leeds goalie is called Perri, which reminds me of the old Argentine joke: A wolf and a dog are walking around London when they bump into each other. "I'm sorry," says the wolf. "I'm Perry," says the dog. Works better in Spanish. One for @cbuckthorn.bsky.social there

RefCam has been the star of this match so far #LEEMUN

Thank you for your attention to this matter

Kids, you know when you watch a video in YouTube and then you want to stop watching that video and make it disappear, but it hangs around in a little box in the corner, even if you turn off YouTube and come back to it the next day? How do you make it not do that?

This is amazing, perhaps my greatest achievement as a writer. I've just found out I am quoted in Wikipedia's article on Trainspotters in the UK en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trainsp...

I went to see Sentimental Value last night. I loved it. It was very moving. The film ended and MANY PEOPLE WERE CRYING in the cinema. Not me, but it was close.

Starmer has declared his ambivalence in the strongest possible terms and announced that the British government will equivocate with immediate effect.

PSA

Hobsbawm's "The Long 2026"

Get ready for Phase Two: a raid on Oslo to seize the Peace Prize.

I find it very telling that the grey men who don't like Rosalía's Luz are the same grey men who like anything Taylor Swift puts out. VERY TELLING.

I reposted this marvellous performance of "Who Will Buy" in a shopping centre in Ipswich in 1987 over Christmas and so you might have missed it. If so, here's another chance to see it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVt9...

Wrap your ears around this www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFgz...

I have a rare opportunity to go to the cinema tonight and tomorrow. Shall I watch: Nouvelle Vague It was Just an Accident (Iran) Bugonia or Sentimental Value (Norway)?

At what age did your parents give you tea/coffee? When Jose worked in Manchester, she mentioned she'd been drinking coffee since she was 5 and her boss was appalled, said he didn't drink caffeine until he was a teenager. But also her boss was a wanker, so

"We spent most of the night discussing philately and how deeply involved I’d been in that community from a very young age. It was only when our desserts arrived that it became apparent that she’d spent the entire conversation confusing philately with fellatio." We've all done it.

I have been home just 10 hours and Negra the dog has already shat and pissed in the house twice, even though she's had two walks.

I have bought too much melon. A disastrous start to 2026.

In Agadoo did Kubla Khan Push pineapples, shake the tree

To me or not to me etc www.theguardian.com/culture/2026...

I have made vitello tonnato (vitel toné) for a second time. Veal in tuna and anchovy mayonnaise.

You can get Liverpool cigarettes in Argentina. 75p a pack. You'll never choke alone.

Cigarette and drink prices, Concepcion del Uruguay, 31/12/25 ($2000=£1)

Went to the supermarket to get some last bits. "Have you got pancetta?" "Yes, but it smells."

Just two months until the Argentine Masters, lads.

That's quite a statement win from Arsenal. And a, er, statement draw from United.

I have two dogs, Negra and Pompeya, who I walk separately as Negra is very old and can only manage 2 blocks. I had walked Negra and was walking Pompeya past the three brothers who live round the corner when one said, kind of joking, "how many dogs have you got?" I replied "Two, but I walk them...

I met family friend Iván the other day. "Mucho gusto," I said (this was in Argentina). "We haven't met before, have we?" "Yes, we have," he replied, a little taken aback.

*Squints at the horizon. Exhales. "Should've muted that thread the first time around..."

Eating a classic Argentine biscuit selection

I second this recommendation. Also Anthropology

At the heladería, what are you having?

I solved 8 wars so I should be allowed to start at least 4.

Fondly remembering that time I combined my love for toasted teacakes with my live for soft boiled eggs

Fondly remembering the time I bought a sausage and a bread at Frankfurt Airport and got this

My meals since 24th: Cold beef and chicken Cold beef and chicken sandwiches Cold beef and chicken Grilled beef and pork Beefburgers Ham pizza Pasta and beef Grilled beef and sausages