Trump is gonna keel over long before he sees the inside of a jail cell but Elon Musk (and Stephen Miller and JD Vance and and and) are still quite young men indeed

I just wish this technology had been available to announce, for example, new seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm

Stop Making TV Shows That Look Kind of Good to Me Until I Find Out That They Cast One Actor Who I Can’t Stand Challenge

“Hey so, it’s the conference finals…do you think you could make just a *little* more of an effort on defense?”

Non-rhetorical question: Have you ever worked at a company that got bought out by some rich guy who came in and actually made things *better?*

If you were one of these people who thought things would get better if the Democrats could just get rid of Manchin and Sinema I can only lol, or perhaps lmfao

Fans, too. I could never understand these people complaining about absentee ownership. She was signing the checks, what else do you want? Be careful what you wish for…

Probably not the one I’m hoping

If you were one of the half million people who put down a $100 deposit on a Trump mobile phone and have still not received it, I will track down what happened to your order in exchange for a $10 service fee

Men will literally post their AI prompts instead of going to therapy

Slightly diminish a book. Paradise Misplaced

Tell me again how the super-intelligent robots are ready to replace us all

David Cross has spent his career saying and doing some of the funniest things ever to be said or done. And yet somehow his response to Bill Maher in this clip might be in his all time top five.

A non-sweep first round exit was the absolute ceiling I would have predicted for the Blazers this year. Last two games have been tough, but you can’t be too mad at it.

If I was in charge of a major sports league with diminishing viewership, the first thing I would do is force fans to complete a little scavenger hunt in order to find the playoff broadcasts

Nice to see Caleb Love on the bench, not thrilled that they made him bring his own Gatorade from home

It would be pretty funny if all the scrutiny generated by his penny pinching were to uncover some actionable criminal activity #RCOTA

Tom Dundon hitting up Lardo at Moda tomorrow night:

Live look at Tom Dundon celebrating the win

I would’ve put Donovan in explicitly to get that rebound, Dundon make me a lowball offer

Plenty of time left but they gotta start now

Time to sit Jerami. You can’t tell me Blake Wesley with fresh legs isn’t good for two quick buckets to start the fourth

This game is pure chaos

I obviously want to win some of these games but this is just awful. Hope he’s okay.

Some nights are legitimately Kris Murray nights! Tonight does not appear to be a Kris Murray night.

Clingan has absolutely got to outplay Luke Kornet

Blazers legend Mason Plumlee

Love to hear the genuine shock in the voice of the national broadcast crew when they find out that the Blazers are actually good

Is there an app where I can bet on how many ads for sports betting apps I’m going to have to sit through before the game actually starts? #NBAPlayoffs #RCOTA

Lotta Jody Allen haters about to get nostalgic for absentee ownership

Check out @lapubliclibrary.bsky.social cracking a hundred year old time capsule for #NationalLibraryWeek!

Blazers close to within two at the start of the second half, and I’m just going to take this full commercial break to enjoy that score while it lasts #RCOTA

All this time I had no idea I was halfway to being a librarian

You're a fucking criminal and you deserve to go where you're going and I'm gonna take you there and if I hear any more shit outta you I'm gonna fucking bust your head and I'll put you back in that fucking hole and I'm gonna stick your head in the fucking toilet bowl and I'm gonna make it stay there.

My internal “He seems like a piece of shit” detector remains undefeated

Honestly, build half of this thing and let it stand behind scaffolding for all time as a reminder not to elect dipshits

Maybe your readers should try canceling subscriptions to right wing propaganda rags owned by billionaires

If you’re a trans person, just know that the big dumb assholes trying to ruin your life are in the minority and they are going to lose. Please stay as strong as you can for as long as you can…sooner or later, these people always lose.

I strongly believe that many of our biggest problems have uncomplicated solutions if we just stop paying people to create the problems in the first place, and I don’t know whether that makes me an optimist or a pessimist

It’s enough to make you wonder whether kneecapping green energy in favor of subsidizing a problematic and dwindling supply of fossil fuel benefits any particular group or class of people in some way

@trailblazers.bsky.social New reaction meme just dropped

Sure gas is up over $6 a gallon right now, but once we achieve our very clear and important objectives in Iran, you should see those prices plummet all the way down to like $5.79

Here in Los Angeles they’ve started to show television programs in between Tom Steyer ads

We only get one life, and so much of mine has been eaten up by 9/11 and the insanity that followed, then like a half dozen financial collapses, Covid and now this fuckin’ guy again. How do I reclaim my time?

Tech Oligarch Get a Normal Haircut Challenge

Can’t believe Mamdani had dinner with a guy who was a spokesperson for a group in which some of the members lived across the street from a kid who told them about how his gym teacher once dated a woman whose brother had a Palestinian flag in his window

If this MFer was saying these exact words on a city bus instead of CNBC people would be climbing over each other to pull the cord

Hoping that “at any point” includes mid-flight

Only 3 assists though, so definitely room for improvement