Not this...

I just finished a book where it took 180 pages of longing to get to the first sex scene. The new one I just started—page 24 and theyre fucking in a coffee shop bathroom. 😂

Someday maybe I’ll find a pillow I like sleeping on. 😒 if anyone has recommendations… My purple pillow is a year old and I hate it. Tempurpedic discontinued the shape that was perfect.

God Sam Anders was so hot… #BattlestarGalacticaRewatch

2 glasses of wine and an edible and then Erasure- A Little Respect comes on?!

Only 28.5 hours of continuing Ed to do in 1 month. 😫

Gotta say, I didn't realize how astronomical electricity is in the UK. Holy hell. At 0.25p/kwh, the the equivalent of $0.33 USD, which is 4x what I pay. I see why so many people don't have A/C.

Sueños 🤝 IML Cowboy hats

Nodding in agreement w @iotapup.bsky.social here

People don’t seem to like it when you refer to a BLUF number as a “leather drone number”.

At least Kat will be able to apply for the new government weaponization fund! 😀

You’ll know I’ve arrived at the IML when I take over the TouchTunes in the lobby bar.

I truly loved this game. Its demise is absolutely maddening with shitty business decision after shitty business decision. @sonyplaystation.bsky.social’s acquisition of @bungie.net was the nail in the coffin.

"Chicago isn't gonna be able to handle us this weekend!" It's IML weekend. We've seen a lot worse.

Noooooooo. Not Montreal! 😩😩😩

All the bots in the world can’t win Eurovision.

Obie likes to try to hump so this is a better option.

I love when Spotify reminds me of good songs I forgot about. Today: Lumidee- Never Leave You (Uh Oooh, Uh Oooh)

ILYA ROZANOV WHY ARE YOU GOING TO MARS! #Forallmankind #connorstorrie. I love Connor Storie so much. So happy seeing him on For All Mankind 😂

I feel I should alert Bluesky to the baby foxes in our yard

This was a fun way to spend my evening.

God I love Chicago. For many reasons. One big one? Being able to get a Ketel One and soda for $7. 🥰

Me: Oh they closed Lake Shore Drive and tons of streets around my apartment from 4am to 2pm and there’s tons of people directing traffic. They must be doing repaving or something. Reality: Cop funeral. Cool. 😑

The magnetic attraction between my face and his armpit from a photo alone

Getting scruff messages from someone telling mean “disturbed” and he’s “traumatized” after reading my Twitter is super fun. Why do I visit my family in the south?

Ugh I need reasons to wear this.

They’ve done it 3 times. This is a rehearsal. I’m so happy right now.

The girl next door to me presently has friends over and they’re belting show tunes. And all in harmony and it’s amazing. They just finished Heathers-Candy Store 🥹

I got a new hood. 🤤🥵🐮

Representation matters! Truly incredible 😂😂 #kevinonprime #kevin #kevinamazonprime

I’ve never been inside Cooter, but I hope everyone is safe.

It’s happening! It’s almost stone fruit season!!! 🤩🥳

It’s nice to see someone finally fighting fire with fire.

It was EXTREMELY rude for the song while people were leaving the Chicago Theater after the Crazy Ex Girlfriend live show to be “Don’t Be A Lawyer.” Especially given that I have to go home to prepare for bed to do that tomorrow. 😑

Feeling handsome tonight.

Me awake in bed at 3 AM looking at my phone after I promised myself I would go to sleep early

Controversial opinion: “We will nip it in the bud” is one of the laziest lyrics I’ve ever heard. And yet it’s in Les Miserables.

Controversial opinion: “We will nip it in the bud” is one of the laziest lyrics I’ve ever heard. And yet it’s in Les Miserables.

If anyone is in the market for a new forklift, my instagram ads have you covered. Also if you need to sell your HVAC company.

Seeking facial hair recommendations. I can just trim it but open to all options. Any ideas?

Seeking facial hair recommendations. I can just trim it but open to all options. Any ideas?

Damn times have changed.

*lady Gaga and Doechii drop a song together* The Gays™:

My Trader Joe’s crush wasn’t working today. 😞 I went to a different guy and was reminded how many fewer lingering eye contacts and smirks are normal for an interaction at checkout.

Happy First Contact Day!

FINE, you win. Ryan is now available made to order. Wow - that sold out fast! So many of you reached out to us asking if we could keep him around for a little while longer, it felt only right that we give everyone the opportunity to satisfy their plane blowjob urges. ✨ go.were.dog/planetoppy

Romance smut I’m reading: “You might be the last thing I need, but you’re the first thing I want when I wake up to in the morning.” Me:

*speechless* Okay maybe not. The avgeek in me also loves this. Lol

There is no ethical consumption of HBO’s Harry Potter series

I just want everyone to know my hockey number was 21 well before Scott Hunter played for the Admirals.