What makes you uncomfortable doesn’t make me unqualified.

Stop doomscrolling and tell me what one thing made for children that no matter how old you are, you will always love. For me, it’s Lucky Charms.

I feel like if Nixon was alive today, he would have something to say about all this.

This week has lasted at least a month. I'm aging in "dog years" now...

2025 is really coming at me. I’d like to speak to the manager and exchange this year for another one.

Coworker: “So and so told me they think you don’t like them.” Me: “Yes. That is correct. That is why I make it clear I do not like them.”

The agony of having to interact with people who have failed upwards their entire lives and are not introspective enough to realize it.

Everybody always talks about how nobody likes attorneys until they need one. I think more people should talk about how everyone loves doctors until they need one. At least attorneys will help you when you need one. Helpful doctors that will actually listen & not dismiss your issues are rare.

Not for nothing, but the U.S. Army literally has every soldier’s DNA on file so it can always identify Soldier remains no matter the condition. If your conspiracy theory relies on any other means of DNA comparison (such as comparing to a child), it’s probably not a solid theory. I’m just saying.

Catch me in a few years when I will be Mariah Carey with defense industry.

I hate to break it to you guys, but skeeting political things on Al Gore’s internet does not in fact amount to “doing something.” Your skeets aren’t going to change the world.

This might be harsh, but when I see posts about “mourning” the death of a person who lived to 100, I can’t help but roll my eyes. There is nothing sad about someone dying after a century of living. We should all be so lucky.

Seeing John Oliver at The Kennedy Center tonight. He randomly talked about me on one of his shows, so we are basically best friends.

The first bottle of Prosecco has been popped. (In case you were looking for a sign it was time to start drinking)

Show time!

Weird that the four military death row inmates are being ignored in the discussion of commuting federal death sentences. Last I checked, they are serving federal death sentences. Make that 7 remaining federal death sentences.

I have spent most of my career prosecuting criminals on behalf of the federal government. And, I couldn’t be happier that President Biden commuted most of the federal death sentences. End the death penalty.

It’s crazy, during the Texas game (and every Texas game) they continually show Matthew McConaughey throughout the game. And I never see anybody complain. Hmmm. What could be the difference?

There is a camel in the Safeway parking lot. Just normal northern Virginia suburbs stuff.

Trader Joe’s holiday bag, but make it Pentagon burn bag.

I left the office for the last time this year, and I didn’t tell anyone “see ya next year!” Missed opportunity.

My closet becomes a clown car at Christmas time. It is amazing how many presents I can hide in there without them being seen.

It’s Monday, and the bus smells like urine this morning, so I have that going for me. How’s your day looking?

The older I get, the more likely it is that I will quit a bad series or movie mid-scene. Life’s too short to waste watching terrible tv.

Walking through the corridor this morning, I heard a random person tell another that some event was good and he got to speak to Merrick Garland for a while. The other person said, "I don't know who that is." This was a grown man, who works for the federal government. We are not a serious country.

My favorite part of Army medicine is when you have a test done and then they call you (and mail you a letter) stating you need follow up imaging and it’s very important to follow up now. And then you call to make an appointment and they say the soonest we can see you is mid January.

Russ knows what’s up.

The little things in life that make you happy are even more important lately. So buy the Christmas tree topper that makes you smile.

I don't care if the coup attempt was illegal or not, or how much notice you had before needing to move out, did you or did you not conduct PCCs/PCIs on your soldiers' gear to make sure everything was tied down with 550 cord, Sergeant?

Precedent? In this economy????

Fine, Economist, you win. Americans don’t have to pay for “absurdly generous benefits” if they can name the countries and dates of US troop deployments since 9/11 I’ll wait.

Exhibit #10,342 proving the point I have made to commanders and law enforcement countless times, that reading someone their rights doesn’t usually dissuade them from incriminating themself.

*cough* AS A VETERAN, let me say: There is nothing more lame than someone who is no longer in the military still caring about the haircuts of people still in the military. You gotta let that one go. It's sad.

On this International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women let everyone remember who should carry the shame. No more shame.

I would literally walk over glass and through fire for Gisèle Pelicot. What an amazing woman.

Monday just hits different when it’s a 2 day work week.

We decorated for Christmas this weekend, and I’m not even a little bit sorry.

I miss teaching Torts.

The way I almost hopped on a plane to Europe this summer to give it a try…

Not me trying to set my calculator to wake me up in the morning on a regular basis.

I GOT ACCEPTED TO ARMY JAG!!

As I was walking through the pentagon parking lot this evening, I smelled the distinct smell of marijuana, and all I could think was that’s a bold choice.

The mirage of equality is demoralizing.

I made a starter pack that I hadn’t seen yet. I know I undoubtedly missed some great women, please let me know who else should be added! (Selfishly, it will help me build my feed) go.bsky.app/UShMeNm

Well, you got picked for this team: go.bsky.app/2ggroED

The starter packs are starting to make relive all those times I got picked last for dodgeball.

Parenthood is full of many milestones. The ability to say “I’m going to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon; only wake me in the event of an emergency” milestone is up there as one of my favorites thus far.

They paved paradise. And put up a parking lot.