Hot Tub Time Machine 2 Alamo Drafthouse was doing a special screening with commemorative pint glasses, and now my mom, my brother, and I have a game where we try to hide all the HTTM2 glasses in each other’s homes

ooh, big stretch

first thought: good, it’s simply too damn hot in Texas in August to not have these rules second thought: oh God, there was nothing stopping my high school band director from sending us outside in 115° heat if he’d wanted to

it would take me a lot longer to figure out the nuances of metal fabrication processes and standards than it would take my brother to figure out Jira

brothers, can I get an “amen”

1. steppe nomads’ campaign logistics 2. Mansa Musa’s retinue for his Hajj throwing around so much gold that they caused a distinct drop in the value of gold in Egypt 3. Tenochtitlan floating on the lake at the height of the Aztec Empire

treat-seeking missile

good morning to the driver who backed into me at a stoplight on Saturday, admitted as much in the police report, and then told our insurer that I rear-ended her

y’all read Sarah’s thread and be safe out there today

Cape Verde played like they’d never heard of the concepts of fear or giving up before, and it’s been an amazing thing to witness

Thierry Henry: "The story is, was, and always will be Cabo Verde. When you believe that you can, that's what can happen."

having watched a good chunk of the 2014 WC group stage on Univision, they’re right, it doesn’t matter you may not always understand what’s happening or what they’re saying, but it’s gonna be fun and you won’t hear Alexi Lalas

the rare piece of advice that works for both goalkeeping and fending off mountain lions

I’m still dripping in sweat from taking the dog outside an hour ago

“How much is a magical world worth?” A beautiful thread about Cabo Verde, the Peace Corps, and the World Cup:

it amazes me that there are ever bicycle kicks that DON’T look like this

the three cement plants on the outskirts of town

Uzbek soccer fans are my new favorite type of dude

today’s seasoning smells like I’ve been dunked in iced Earl Grey tea, in a good way

coach, help, I’m trying to sneak up on the goal, but I’m dummy thicc and the clap of my asscheeks keeps alerting VAR

First and last time we ever use photoshop for this kind of thing, don't get used to it

UZBEKISTAAAAAAAAAN

“Darwin Gets the Zoomies” is a feature of Liverpool matches I’ve missed terribly this past season

bless my dad, who received a gift card via text to a wine and tapas bar that my brother and I sent him for Father’s Day, saw that it was something called “Barcelona” coming from an Oklahoma number, and thought “that sounds suspicious, better report it as spam”

any flavor whose name does not tell me what it is, and where no explanation is provided what the fuck do “gold rush” and “mamba” taste like?!

Mister The Missile is experiencing critical levels of being a sleevjy lil’ guy (sound up)

IT’S FINALLY IN HD

you know what, maybe my occasional knee pain isn’t that bad

the entire Cook-Out experience a tray just tastes better when you accidentally assemble a good combo while trying to parse their dyslexia-inducing menu at 10 PM

did he figure out how to open my Adderall?

one of the church ladies told me today that the chicken thighs I roasted for a church picnic looked and tasted like they’d come from a restaurant another told me I looked really cool carrying our “sword of Saint Martin” in the procession so gentlemen, if you’re looking for a lady who can do both…

Every summer I repost this article on how to spot drowning. Please read it and pass on. In the last few years I’ve had SIX messages from people who saved a kid’s life after clicking on the link from my feed. slate.com/technology/2...

CHOMP ‘EM BLUE SHARKS

when my mom went to the shelter to look for a dog, the last dog she asked to see in a meet-and-greet area jumped right into her lap and licked her face, and she knew he’d decided that he was her dog I never thought I would see a dog make that choice more decisively than Biscuit, but Muchacho did it

guess the DFW suburb without reading the article

getting dry laundry from the dryer to the drawer/closet

Odessa knows what it did

ʳᵉⁱⁿᵈᵉᵉʳ

this is one of my very favorite coffee shops, and they just reopened last July after ten months of fixing damage from Helene, only for some asshole to burn it down because he was mad at an employee for getting a restraining order against him I’d sure appreciate it if y’all could help ‘em out

no :)

huge safety news if you have small kids or curious pets

A CATHEDRAL OF DETONATION

just a lil’ nibble

v important pet care education

between using and imitating the glitchy AI wrestling podcast audio in this episode, and just being what it is in general, the Fullcast has made itself absolute poison for anyone trying to scrape real sports podcasts and AI-generate their own

the University of Night Ham raised enough money to buy 20 entire legs of acorn-fed, free-range Iberico de Bellota ham, with an extra $1200 left over for other tapas fixins

time for the most personal of my @newap-georgia.bsky.social donations for the #CharitibundiBowl when I was in grad school at UT, I got an internship with the DoS at Embassy Skopje, where things were busier than I anticipated and, as a result, I ended up writing our cables on the 2015 refugee crisis