Got a weird feeling where I think someone may have forgotten the Alamo today.

Fuck daylight savings time. All my homies hate daylight savings time.

I'm looking to train an AI model on tickling and am wanting to source some test data. Does any have any test tickles I can play around with?

All surface dwellers are on top of the world. Congrats y'all.

Joe Keery / Steve Harrington as a young Malcolm Reynolds Firefly prequel when plzkthx?

You think if Reba McEntire got into track and field she'd be called Arriba McEntire?

I bet FIFA is soooooo embarrassed about giving trump that peace prize.

News channels know they can show whatever they want right? Like they could just refuse to show video or images of trump at all. Show video of the people who actually care about governing instead.

@zohrankmamdani.bsky.social dear Mr Mamdani, please get something like a tan suit for one of your press conferences so some Maga types heads will explode.

first half had me sad. Second half made me shit my pants laughing too hard. Also brb.

I'm bored with seeing fancy headquarters. Want to see some assquarters!

Pirates and sailors always say ahoy. But what if I want two or three hoys?

I miss being able to watch late night shows like Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert and not feel depressed with the topics they make fun of.

Everybody do the wenis!

@markhamillofficial.bsky.social how do I do a DM? Anyways ignore this if you think Star Trek is the best 💪🤌👍

Do all Chipotle locations suck now? I just finished a long driving trip and saw several on route but they all had bad reviews and nasty pictures. I ended up not stopping at any.

Wordle 1,566 6/6 ⬛🟩🟨⬛🟩 ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Eat my balls, Wordle

Get a 5 cheese pizza and just have 1 cheese pizza at a time. That way you get 5 pizzas out of one. #lifehacks

@jcsalterego.bsky.social has become too powerful. Someone has to stop him.

Can there be a way to block posts that contain links with specific words? Seeing so much Amazon bot spam now and would love to block anything Amazon.com

Wordle 1,535 4/6 ⬛⬛🟨⬛⬛ 🟨🟨⬛🟨⬛ 🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 What the heck wordle

I don't think wordle has any right saying some of my guesses aren't words with the stuff they have been putting out.

Lol dumbass Google AI getting snippy. It's hella a dumb word. All my homies say it's a dumb word.

Wordle 1,518 5/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩 ⬛⬛🟨🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Today's wordle can eat my entire ass hole.

Pretty soon wordle will have to stop saying that my words aren't in their list with how unhinged their words have been.

Why are there so many "long story shorts"? I want some "short story longs".

Do you think people would still get mad if it rained on their parade but it was an Earth day themed parade?

If you are about to have massively loud farts in public it is socially acceptable to yell out "WITNESS ME!" prior to farting.

Eat my balls wordle Wordle 1,493 X/6 ⬛🟩🟨⬛⬛ ⬛🟩⬛⬛🟨 🟩🟩⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩⬛⬛🟩

So what's the deal with the wires hanging on telephone poles being called telephone lines? Those things aren't straight lines at all. Parabola looking ass curves. Don't be lying to me.

Close enough

This is why no one likes you New York Times Wordle 1,487 6/6 ⬛🟨🟨⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛🟩 🟨⬛🟩⬛🟩 ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Some people don't want you to know this but when you cook food that says something like "cook for 1:15 - 1:45" you can actually cook backwards in time for the difference and gain more time in the day.

Jaysus Google AI, spoilers much? I was just bitching to the void.

What did the ghost say when he took 20 steps forward and 20 steps backwards and realized he wasn't where he started? No one knows, it's a mysteresis. Ha ha ha please clap thank you I'll be here all week.

I sure hope NYT's connections puzzle never guesses my winter soldier activation words.

Do roosters above the Arctic circle get pissed there isn't a day/night cycle for part of the year?

YNAB bot is heartless and would rather see me dead.

have a multimeter if you get amazon fuse taps. these fuse taps have the outer pin shorted to both fuse sides. with two micro3 fuses inserted the vehicle would see two parallel fuse paths that could exceed the original rated fuse capacity. @cpsc.gov

Why is there no rule in legislation that says no more amendments on bill 24 hours before voting?

Imma put mar a lago sinkhole on my bingo card for no particular reason.

Dear @saturdaynightlive.bsky.social . I need a sketch where someone is interviewed but they keep going to commercial break where the interviewer is featured in all the commercials and the interviewee becomes increasingly annoyed and then later starts to show up in the commercials and starts...

🤭

This is one of the most ridiculous scenes in a movie ever and I absolutely love it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li5V...

With how pro Israel this administration says they are it would be hilarious if they invited pro MAGA Mel Gibson to the Whitehouse and someone asked him what he thought about Jewish people.

If Saturday Night Live doesn't have a sketch where they roast CNN's book club I'm going to be very disappointed.

Sometimes being immature has its perks Wordle 1,431 3/6 🟩⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Good to know anyone can bribe trump if you just jingle some shiny keys in front of him.

Made a ducky in wordle today. I think that's enough to put in my daily accomplishments so I can take the rest of the day off. Wordle 1,424 5/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛🟨🟩⬛🟩 ⬛⬛🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩