@crackedchessboard.bsky.social do you believe in magic?

i'm so p*** u*.

no pressure then.

does anyone else have this intense foreboding sense of dread or is it just me?

why?

now i think about it, how did you keep eating? did you . . . hunt? what about water? that was . . . junobot's job, right? junobot seems to control a lot about your life.

you're telling me urfmen aren't born with that feature built-in? you must have had parents, or progenitors of some kind. what's your earliest memory?

sure, that's it.

i'm matured.

let's say i'm past middle age and leave it at that then.

that's impressive. but if it was just you here, where did you learn to code?

. . . you didn't build junobot, you mean? i thought-- well, he just talks so *positively* of you . . .

i just dropped off some composting, actually. added my own from my ship. i guess it wouldn't hurt to look around.

i don't care about that. i know you from somewhere, right?

you really didn't explore much, did you? why not? well . . . no, i'll let juno explain all of that. is there anything you think you could do? for others, i mean? that you're . . . good at?

wh-- i just got here!!!

no, but really. you had caps on urf, didn't you? it's a lot like that. well, i do all kinds of things. i've done mercenary work. some security work, rarely. transport's quick and easy, but pays dirt cheap. mostly i do repair work. that pays well and i enjoy it.

i'd know that screaming anywhere . . .

i wouldn't say my cooking is anything incredible. you just haven't seen how good everyone else is yet. well, you're in luck. it's not as though i'm flat broke. i learned the hard way the importance of savings. *but* we will have to start thinking about picking up some odd jobs, soon enough.

i don't know anything about these hew mans. are they a rare species?

*dinner*? are *you* paying for that?

aww. nat. . . . baby. i think you're perfect anyway.

now junobot's attitude to women we *have* to talk about. troubling.

some of my coworkers have been women before. i don't judge. i mean, who knows? it seems like a fun idea.

i fought in the war. i'm old *enough*, let's say. what's old to you anyway? how do you decide?

no, because i *still* want that time machine. i'll find these 'time lords' of yours. i don't know my date of birth. i was found.

i don't *hate* women.

oh, it's you! the alleged time-traveler. where've you been hiding? me? i'm . . . well, that's complicated.

what?

i'm not old. i'm just . . . well-matured.

he hears the farmer in the field singing as she builds the scarecrow. he's going back to the sidrat to grab them all space beers. it shocks him. 'oh! i'm sorry. i didn't realize this was private land.'

captain's log: i have this feeling lately, difficult to describe, that seems something like a mix of anticipation and dread. at the academy we learned to be logical about these things, but it's difficult to leave your upbringing behind. my pythia would call this seeing the future. troubling.

@crackedchessboard.bsky.social tits or ass?

so why's he called juno? @crackedchessboard.bsky.social

everything junobot does he does hard.

the individual which identified himself as 'the lancer' is sat on a deckchair with a book, not touching the water, nor the buffet, nor marveling at the intricate details of the silk floor. he is on edge, using his book as a prop in which to confine his anxieties. when his companions return to him,

surely you're used to the sun by now, big man?

no, *i'll* show you hard.

i feel naked.

what's with the cheese grater though?

no! it's-- it's. it's. i mean, it's. just . . . *wow*.

what's so funny, doctor delamere?

i'll have to forcibly remove you before you drink it all.

hey, don't drink all of these at once. i only have a limited supply.

tell me about how *long* and *hard* those years of spaceflight were.

i'm starting to think this lady might have been in space for five years.

me, under the armor, if you even care.

huh? did you say something?

( his tone is amused. ) you're not a lightweight, are you? you're already slipping over your words. it'd be my pleasure to have you.