Stupid helmet.

-- 𝙹𝙾𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙴𝙼𝙿𝙸𝚁𝙴 -- 𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝚃𝙺-𝟶𝟻𝟹 𝚁𝚘𝚕𝚎: 𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙾𝙽 𝙵𝙾𝙳𝙳𝙴𝚁 𝙰𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎: 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙶𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝙴𝚖𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝚄𝚗𝚒𝚝: 𝚂𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛 || 𝚁𝚊𝚗𝚔: 𝙿𝚟𝚝. 𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕: 𝙾𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚁𝚒𝚖 𝚂𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚖

Who starts a conversation like this?

500k. Up front. Or you can delete this number.

It just means when we're on a job you should keep superstition out of it. It taints the mood. Poisons the well.

You can't seriously expect me to do this for *free*? Look, it's a shame about the missing kids, but this won't bring them back, and it sounds *dangerous* and *expensive*.

You know, funny feelings. Bad vibes. Hocus pocus.

Hi I'm Kiki and I don't work for free.

don't get all paranoid on me.

( a shockingly long time passes. ) ... are you still going?

Oh! Well, certainly. Sounds like my kinda job. 500k deposit up front, naturally...

Pirates make for terrible clients, anyone who's dumb enough to work for them deserves not getting paid. What's piracy got to do with it?

How did *you* get this frequency? Actually don't answer that, it would only make things worse. I hope you're not counting on me testifying against them because that ain't happening.

( click. ) Hi this is Kiki's pizza, stuffed or extra crispy?

What do these guys even do for a living?

Gotta say, this is a weird job.

Heist is such an ugly word...

My ears are burning.

They can't ALL be work days.

kicks @junobot.bsky.social's arm across the floor. Well shit. So much for negotiating my fee.

These guys sound fuckin gay.

CACKLES

@beatsreporting.bsky.social Well hello, handsome.

I just want my money.

Should've broken his jaw instead of his nose.

@warrioroftuburr.bsky.social The price has to go up, right? She's pregnant! With twins! That's two- two price increases at least. Three for not telling me sooner. What do you think?

( pneumatic fist powering up sounds... )

I don't have time for this.

You piss off the wrong witch?

( she draws her gun slowly, just feeling the weight of it in her hands. ) Looks like you don't know everything after all, huh? Boy that must suck— ( a shot straight through his screen sends sparks and metal scrap flying out the other side of him, scorching the wall behind him. )

How are you doing that?

Didn't catch that last part.

( she strokes the textured grip of her weapon with her thumbnail. ) You're on the verge of a major malfunction, friend.

You? Capable? Oh sure, except for when it comes to stairs, gentle inclines, or uh, ordinary doorframes?

No one's out here tryna impress a vending machine.

I can think of worse ways to go.

That's a *very* human joke.

Scales are actually very smooth and pleasant to touch, or so I've heard.

( now she's grinning right at him. humans, such blunt and feeble teeth. ) Looks like our cultures aren't so different after all. Who knew?

What was that?

It's a drinking game, kinda. It's a game with drinks. It's a general knowledge trivia... Quiz. You know what a quiz is? You know what a pub is? Kinda blend those concepts and you'll get it.

Right, but in a pub quiz we'd be on the same team, so we don't need to know the same stuff. That's why we're a team.

@warrioroftuburr.bsky.social Can you cook?

Why would I need to know that when *you* know that?

I'm multicultural.

Yeah well I was mostly thinking about myself, but sure, goodwill to all Martiankind. May the moon— uh... Shine over your brood?

We're stuck in *our* ways? Ha! We don't have the conviction. We're not stuck, we just are.

I'm not a very nice person.