honestly, i know some people who could use some tylenol ifyouknowwhatimean

someone adopt my new sweet foster cat Blanquito from www.instagram.com/del.gato.res... !!

Excited to be headlining The Function back up in #SanFrancisco in October, but until then, whet your appetite TONIGHT with @FacialRecComedy @TheComedyStore! i’m hosting! get your tickets now: www.showclix.com/event/recogn... the-function.seatengine-sites.com/events/110956

We had @pallavi.bsky.social on episode 1934 ‘Zuck’s AI Glasses Suck! Kash Patel NOT Convincing?’ - listen now! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t... @jackob1.bsky.social @milesofgray.bsky.social

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someone adopt my new sweet foster cat Blanquito from www.instagram.com/del.gato.res... !!

with how they’re painting him, you’d think charlie kirk is rolling in his grave listening to the stuff he actually said in real life on camera with many witnesses

can yall stop with the conspiracy theories though?? my mom is falling for every single one

are yall okay

why is everyone acting like ted cruz when he sucked trump off after trump called cruz's wife ugly? embarrassing

the utah governor hoping the shooter wasn't "one of us" what do you mean by that, baldy???

candace owens posting that instagram tribute to charlie kirk despite knowing what he's said about Black Women not having the "processing power" 😬

transphobia rots your brain

i don't condone all this white on white violence

i genuinely don't think he'd care if his own children d*ed

it doesn't make you more civil or decent to mourn someone who dehumanized marginalized groups. it means you only care about optics & don't see those people as human beings either. you think it's fine for them to suffer & die due to the real policies that that person advocated for

one of the bullets reading “If you’re reading this you are gay lmao,” okay crowd work comic

and yesterday everyone thought it was a she/they shooter

who else was betting on someone named tyler

i haven’t seen more green circles on insta than i have today. we looove any form of impulse control we can muster 👏🏾

live your life such that people don't meme your last moments on this earth

hearing a lot of thoughts and prayers from people who never had a single one for Palestinians

want to publicly say i've always loved jezebel and etsy witches...

politicians saying there is no place for political violence in this country: there shouldn't be ANY violence. it's still violence when politicians and political influences kill their electorate through gun policy, taking away human rights, healthcare, food, housing, it's not okay

america is an insanely violent country and those advocating for that violence are not immune to it

you thought the kennedy curse was them dying when really it's just one of them becoming health secretary

the pandemic plus years have gone by so much faster than the entire rest of my life

a stuntman but for when i feel icky

imagining i get bit by a spider and start breaking stuff at home and breaking curfew: that’s the end of my superhero career because my parents wouldn’t take that shit i’m still becoming an engineer and that’s IT

cats are sooo right: need to start hissing at unwanted approaches

Utah comics/anyone with connections in Utah: going to be there this week, who do I message for shows?

me when it’s a standing only event

it worked guys

sick and watching all the shreks i’ll let you know when i’ve been healed

true crime but for revealing neighborhood gossip

Andrew Schulz v. Kendrick…hmm wonder who’s gonna win! 💨 #beef #andrewschulz #kendrick #kendricklamar #comedy #podcast @pallavi.bsky.social @shannachristmas.bsky.social @milesofgray.bsky.social

to be loved is to be changed. thank you for changing me, sweet girl. 🩵🤍 jasmine is off to her forever home! i’ll miss her yapping at me to hold her like a baby, sticking her face on my face, and pulling me closer for pets with her extra thumbs, but i’m so happy for this angel!

@dailyzeitgeist.bsky.social Really enjoyed this.. Thank You 🙌🏽 @jackob1.bsky.social @milesofgray.bsky.social @pallavi.bsky.social

“My infant almost died in a drug fire after mass shootings” 🤔 #dc #republican #funny #podcast @pallavi.bsky.social @alexschmidty.bsky.social @milesofgray.bsky.social

i don’t like seeing ben affleck in anything except another picture of him weighed down by the burden of his dunkin donuts order

she’s in your dms, she’s living in my head rent free yelling “kal-el no”

trump yesterday:

yesterday was so fun on here and today it’s sydney sweeney and scooter braun bs wtf vibes are cooked

where were you when It happened??

i, like the republicans, will blame mike pence

if he comes back from this like he did covid and an assassination attempt…dude’s been alive longer than wishbone* *still alive don’t look it up

that man is getting a bbl right now

if he shows up, it’s actually a melania impersonator

gonna be on a flight tomorrow and i stg if it’s announced then…