never in my life did i think Mississippi Masala Mama would be on stage with Good Muslim, Bad Muslim Daddy and Socialist Mayor of New York Mamdani incredible work and feelings all around today

just saw the mamdani speech and the outro music being DHOOOOOOM MACHALE! my millennial ass is so happy!!!

i haven’t laughed this hard in ages i’m dying lmao

the pendulum is swinging back around! it’s up to us to not let it swing away again 🫡🫡🫡

new york you beautiful bastards you did it!!

okay yes this is awful but wtf is your ass doing on this app eww

BREAKING NEWS: Dick Cheney just shot Ronald Reagan in the face

inject anything tom pelphrey's been in straight into my veins

i am working a lot and i am very tired and that is okay because it could be far worse but i also wish it were much better

Every time I refresh my timeline, Mamdani is live, somewhere else in NYC. There’s only one explanation.

Everyone, I ouija boarded Lincoln's ghost and he said the new White House bathroom is "too gross to piss in"

i'm going to need my Michiganders and Minneapolitans to give @abdulelsayed.bsky.social and @omarfatehmn.com the @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social treatment by getting excitement up to get these progressives in office. use the Mamdani momentum and let it spill over to progressives in other places!!

someone tell me what under-eye routine this man has because HE NEVER SLEEPS

at what point are non-ICE officers going to mask up, not identity themselves, and start detaining ICE officers as they’re attempting to kidnap people? does the procedural rigor of the trump admin allow for fighting fire with fire?? I’M JUST ASKING QUESTIONS HERE, PEOPLE!

This is insane shit. Cops hate the people of Los Angeles and look for any excuse to injure people.

I've been sober 14+ years. About the same amount of time as everyone in Dodger Stadium right now

me joining the cast of selling sunset and immediately turning the houses into low income housing

i have seen more blackface costumes casually scrolling than i have ever vibes are FUCKED right now

i mean give us a CHANCE to “thanks, Obama” him first!

god their editing team is so damn fast. comedians could learn a thing or two from him about the Clip Industrial Complex…

the best thing jd vance could do for usha is leave her for erika kirk. get those kids as far the fuck away from that man as you can

there are racisms being racized that have never raced before

there's never been a ceasefire, but the bombing has increased and Palestinians continue to suffer. we need to hold everyone accountable for these endless horrors

the type of ads instagram’s serving me

wow, ok, unfollowing now. was a big fan of his draining mortals of their blood, was not aware how sexy he was.

nicola would NEVER

deflection? or a fun side quest? choose your own fight adventure! follow me on instagram.com/pallavigunalan for more!

insane lineup on our show TONIGHT back in the belly room of the comedy store! get your tickets now: showclix.com/event/recogn...

starting to think me and my pets are in a codependent relationship

come to our show friday so i can roast your indian ass! tickets here: www.showclix.com/event/recogn...

BREAKING: Friday night massacre underway at CDC. Doznes of "disease detectives," high-level scientists, entire Washington staff and editors of the MMWR (Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report) have all been RIFed and received the following notice:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but the CDC is being eviscerated right now. America is not going to have any kind of outbreak response capacity after tonight. Americans’ health data is no longer secure. Say goodbye to federal public health in any capacity. It’s a disaster. We won’t recover.

post-game celebration? naw you’d catch me already in bed

.@baseball

so many innings you have to start taking audience volunteers as pitchers

after a certain amount of innings, a baseball game becomes a fema emergency

bout to "i'm so sorry lebron's retiring baby" my way into some dick

"if you're not scared, you're not paying attention." WHY DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING SO HARD NOT TO PAY ATTENTION

Death-centric optimists: Get your tickets for the shows tonight: the-function.seatengine-sites.com/events/122406

ezra klein is an articulate idiot

TONIGHT AND TOMORROW i’m in the bay area roasting techies in their natural habitat! get your tickets here: the-function.seatengine-sites.com/events/122406

I’m headlining Friday and Saturday (Oct 3rd and 4th) at The Function in San Francisco! Get your tickets now, Bay Area!! the-function.seatengine-sites.com/events/110956

🩵🩵🩵

We had @caitlindurante.bsky.social on episode 1938 ‘Worst Epstein Excuse Ever? LAPD In Space!’ - listen now! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t... @pallavi.bsky.social @milesofgray.bsky.social

That was a hilarious episode! You and @pallavi.bsky.social are two of my absolute favorite guests on the show. Also, I literally came back to Bluesky because I missed your poems. Also also, I love that you love Lola Young.

been sinning so i don’t get raptured (scared of heights)

getting raptured (yaaaayyyy) to mormon heaven (boooooo)

they’re gonna start selling Trumpenol and profit off this insanity

honestly, i know some people who could use some tylenol ifyouknowwhatimean

someone adopt my new sweet foster cat Blanquito from www.instagram.com/del.gato.res... !!