Jeff Bezos: Hey Elon, that’s an ugly car! But I’ll bet we could make one uglier!

Hey Blooski! Just checking in!

Pattern recognition:

Girl breakfast! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ 8½ months!

“Just because they landed a boat there 500 years ago doesn’t mean they own the land” -🍊

Instead of swirlies it’s bullets! 🤬

That’s fine dude! I’m not mad at you! #imsoangryrn

It feels like all my high school bullies are running this country 🤦‍♀️

Davie.studio - on the air I built a radio station 🤭

Fuck Nicki Minaj

Friends, please share! Hi #CentralOregon, my name is Davie, I'm a #Storyteller and I'm looking for a job/story to tell. Maybe you didn't even know you were looking for me, but let's talk about your story!

I feel like @hankgreen.bsky.social would appreciate these cards

My contribution for today! Homemade rustic loaves and Tyler Florence Ultimate Cheesecake with Blueberry Lemon Compote. #thankful

I really appreciate the interview that Steve Inskeep did with Utah Governor Spencer Cox. The Governor explained his stance concisely, and called for unity. After listening to the interview, I’ve decided: Spencer Cox can still gargle my transgender nutsack!

Context

Fuck.

I’ve been job hunting. Turns out I really despise what the modern workplace looks like! Will someone just give me money so I can open a queer witchy teahouse?

I'm so sad that not one other person said anything! Not surprised, but the kind of sad that hurts in my chest! He pointed at and degraded, dehumanized, and humiliated another human being, and no one said a damn thing! Ow! 😣

Oregon invented their own food! Marionberries!

“Quiet piggy!” - The American President

What a country! I'm so sick of both of them!

I'm a pretty tech savvy Old™️ but this is good info for us GenXers (and for our moms and uncles)! youtu.be/M4TXO4kQwSQ?...

Starbucks’ CEO makes 6,666x what the average @sbworkersunited.org barista does. It would take less than one day of sales to finalize a fair contract. Baristas at Starbucks corporate stores nationwide are on strike to fight this corporate greed and get the fair contract they deserve.

"This isn't the America I know." Black people:

You should spend some time with #5Calls today! (and tomorrow)

For no reason, this morning I thought about this audio. (I do not need to see photo or video proof btw)

I made out with the cutest trans woman yesterday! You know what they say, "once you've kissed one trans woman, you pretty much wanna kiss the rest of them!" Line up ladies! 😘

I quit him and I've been seeing other music services! But sometimes you miss your toxic ex! "No one knew my music like him He had such a big [library] He always knew what I needed to hear!" He hangs out with literal AI bros and schmatsees! "Yeah but he could play me like a Steinway!" Grl no!

Casual Sandra #SandraClaus

Sharing information: pass it on!

I made it 1-minute into the #NikkiGlaser #SNL monologue before saying "I'm out!" Tone deaf, misogynistic, racist, and that's just the first 60 seconds!

What photoshop?

"Are you trying to be sexy?" I am 57 and feel better about myself then I ever have. I /feel/ sexy. I don't have to try. You'll forgive me if I cannot abide your puritanical, ageist, misogynistic standards.

It’s just after 11am PT. I have not yet checked any recent news/social media. 🫣 It's nice. 🧘‍♀️

🫳💨🥖👮

Me: I would like to apply for your position, here is my résumé! Them: Very good! Now please hand write all of that same information on this paper in tiny little boxes.

🎼Ding-dong the Bitch is dead! Ding-dong Dick Cheney’s ass is dead! 🎶

Whew 🏳️‍⚧️🤭

PSA: #Waterproof #Converse #ChuckTaylors are a thing that exists, and they’re way cuter than Sorrels!

Last night I got the joy of watching the grandnuggets (from 1 to 15yrs) going from door to door just laughing and collecting candy, swapping what they collected, and the older ones helping the younger ones. ✨Magic✨🥹

I’m so tired of this country being run by all of the worst high school bullies! And then there’s those milquetoast kids who don’t know how to stop them! We need the punks!

I feel like this is the only newscast that’s not yelling at me! #pbsnewshour

I had a friend ask me about audio stuff, and I geeked out for 5 1/2 minutes. Here you go. www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8D2aFea/

My Cash app in my Venmo are in my bio! I wish they would quit asking, and just send me the cash! “Hey baby doll I just sent you $7000. Hope you have a great day!” I mean, I wouldn’t give them any more attention than the Russian bots they are, but they could still just send me the money!

Hey kids! Hope you have a great day! Support a local taco truck on Taco Tuesday and CHINGA LA MIGRA

If you see people stealing food to feed their families no you didn't.

The whole bag! The WHOLE bag! Gone.

She tried so hard to be a boy! 🏳️‍⚧️ She wasn’t! #mtf #hrt #transjoy

Hey hi! If you like my content on TikTok (or even my inane ramblings here) and would like to support a queer creator: www.patreon.com/iamdavefelton All paid levels get the same access! Just more me, but different!

Yes please! Like the old Superscope Storyteller series but for the 21st Century!