I think we're fine.

If I ever say "I want a car", rest assured that this is what I have in mind: a glorified golf cart that can't do shit. I want this so bad

“Many of you have been asking — how do we speed this process up? 😆 and here’s your answer…”

I don't think we'll win this seat, but clearly we've already won where it counts

I didnt post yesterday but it was my birthday and im 27 now so that's cool I guess (it rocks actually)

With regards to the DC national guard shooter:

My brain is so broken and I need to leave Thanksgiving immediately. Because I saw this on my father's kitchen counter and why did I immediately think this was... ? Do you see it too?

He's right though, Ive never been accosted by porn of Avatar when I was scrolling main. The same can't be said of like, everything else

Happy turkey day!

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

Wake up friend, we have a new Knives Out movie to watch. Slow burning perfection.

When I was in high school, we had to be taught "you can't just rely on Google, because occasionally a bad search result will be at the top so you have to verify everything." Now I imagine kids don't even bother. Using Google has become so unreliable, there's no point in trusting it anyways.

I got so stoned at a Mets game once I compared the Jumbotron to the top screen of a Nintendo DS bc it had “a bunch of useful contextual information” and the field to the bottom screen bc “it’s where the game is actually played”

This goes so incredibly hard

incredible things happening on the bird app

8/50 dogs

Half of our economy is built around selling you problems in a Trojan Horse, under the assumption that the same company will also be able to sell you the solutions in a few years, but nobody has started building the solutions yet or even asked whether they can be built.

. @kaine.senate.gov

Explain to me like I'm five why Chuck Schumer should not be dragged into the public square with New Yorkers allowed to fling shit at him.

"Chuck Schumer should go ... he's no longer capable of leading the Democratic Party." "I am an establishment Democrat and I'm here to say that Bernie Sanders is much more in line with where I and many other Democrats are today than Chuck Schumer is."

Chuck Schumer is literally saying "Now that we have used anger over the shutdown to win off-year election, we can let Republicans gut Healthcare because there's nothing left to gain"

To nobody's shock, threats to move business out of a city that constitutes 9% of the national GDP were hollow and will continue to be hollow. Because of fucking course they are.

I think you can run the ciry perfectly fine without negotiating back-room details with billionaires. Zohran probably thinks so too. The concept is seemingly alien to Kevin O'Leary.

I like posting on Twitter because it's where the opposition is, but it hurts my soul deeply to know that I think I just posted an all-time banger, but it's going to flop anyways because that just isn't the audience

You know, not being racist is easy and free. Just a thought from today.

I didn't post this here before so you have to look at it now, I'm hot now

Uhh, in case you don't have any understanding of Jewosh heritage/culture/traditions, this is very much not one of them. He just made a fancy coat.

I have just found out about the 2014 video game Dominique Pamplemousse, nobody talk to me for the next WEEK I am about to be absolutely insufferable. This is the greatest day of my life. I live in the same timeline as Dominique Pamplemousse

"On the last episode of his show before he was killed," Kirk told "his audience, falsely, that “one in 22 Black men will be a murderer in their lifetime” and that “by age of 23, half of all Black males have been arrested and not enough of them have been arrested.”

this is their third or so tower

lmao they got him and he's exactly the right wing, Christian, gun family, Utah, Republican parents, online groyper, son of a cop, and everything else you could have predicted

lmao I started editing twitch clips and YouTube shorts in my spare time for a League pro from Europe who I follow. That way I can have some body of work to point to later on. But after yesterday, he's just been reposting shit from Elon and the president of El Salvador and all other right wing freaks

Dawg, this man is gonna get away with an assassination in broad daylight because right wingers are quite literally too stupid to help authorities find the most high-profile public assassin since the JFK murder.

Grok says that videos of Charlie Kirk being shot are memes and that he's actually fine

AND IIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUU

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT ANDREW CUOMO IS A BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER

You know I love y'all more than the bird app, but they do have a point

fuk u *empires your state building*

Do you think they really like Cheetos or something?

Same energy

Andrew Cuomo getting called directly by Donald Trump for campaign advice, yeah man I totally believe he'll stand up to Trump as mayor 🙄

Getting caught up on Big Brother is crazy because people keep thinking the only gay guy is quick-witted, when he's really just parroting comebacks from Drag Race. "Have your moment, because you're not gonna have many more" yeah I remember when Jewels Sparkles said that too, Jimmy

Twitter gets to hear me complain about leg day, you get to see me sweaty at the end of it 😘

I've been bad about cross-posting lately >.>