a CAR is a type of METAL ANIMAL that has a special organ that senses when you've hit a SAVINGS ACCOUNT MILESTONE and subsequently goes on the attack

wish people would stop complaining about queerbait and focus more on the thrill of the chase

career tarot reading put down ten of pregnant werewolves on top of the tower in the crossed position???? and for my romance reading I somehow pulled the five of ghost penis and nothing else

all cats in my room tonight. for some reason

watching the residence very fun tv show very cool it's like if the west wing was slightly poisoned by ryan murphy and saved by the power of jazz

Need her to go James on my giant peach

it's been almost ten years since I went ocd insane 🎉 and now I'm saner than ever

the fact that you don't have to state salary range for jobs on indeed is evil

hinge is NOT for lovers it's for psychic honing

just drank a cocktail called "mustard"....

baby's first substack post open.substack.com/pub/sightofs...

Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + Michigan

ohhhhhh i get it. I'm depressed

I'm about to do something sick and twisted to a mushroom

she pardon on my me until I miss

a CAR is a type of METAL ANIMAL that has a special organ that senses when you've hit a SAVINGS ACCOUNT MILESTONE and subsequently goes on the attack

hankering for a cankering

hankering for a spankering

hankering for a bagel rn

at times I really am speaking for the sake of speech, which is why you're Spaniard of me

[ROB ZOMBIE, ABOUT TO WRITE ONE OF THE BEST SONGS EVER MADE] you ever think about the car grandpa munster drives

my fujo mind palace has many halls, many rooms

am I doing this right

movie madness acquired nicole kidman's amc ad jumpsuit so you know gay guys are gonna start making pilgrimage there

made pumpkin puree made chicken stock made nachos........dunno if I actually did any work tho but <3

started calling kirk the purrglar bc he purrs so fucking loud and steals my heart every day

losing touch with reality in a god honoring way

To celebrate Dick Cheney's passing, I think we should make Destiel canon a second time!

hey man sorry if you got mixed messages when i jacked you off to completion. yeah, it was my demon possessed hand doing it again. my bad,

a lot of tv shows are actually good if you choose to think a character makes bad decisions not because they're stupid, but because there's something wrong with them

trying to make moves in silence but these jingle shoes I got for my secret elf school plans keep getting in the way of things

take heed! sometimes reading fanfiction will lead you to a beautiful jazz album

the upside to feeling everything is that you get to feel everything. the downside to feeling everything is also that you get to feel everything

I love medical procedurals. there should be more inaccurate heart rates out in the world

sorry I'm addicted to sandwiches.......

me: hello I am hungry from my long journey but I do not wish to disturb my roommates my kitchen: aha! Let me introduce the ten of knives. it is a drawer that has a knife and a fork, which you seek, but will create a sound like a jackhammer me: can I slip the ten of knives my kitchen: no!!!!!!!

experienced the whole of the lord of the rings one one night as someone who didn't want to pay $50 for an Uber

i disliked your post, i sprayed your post with a water bottle and said NO, i smacked your post with a rolled up newspaper, i pretended to throw a ball to your post but kept it in my hand and your post went running after it

got invited to not one not two but three Halloween parties so you could say I am the king of costumes, balls

do I talk good? no. do I move good? absolutely not. but do I post good? also no.

in the mind of the scholar.

finally transferred from spotify to tidal yippeeeeee. now everybody do the same so we can be friends on there

they call me nordstrom on account of my big and discounted rack

this can is packed for sure

i am afraid that if i enter my fujo mind palace i won't come back out

i post yaoi. i blow out a candle. and somewhere in the world a butterfly emerges from a cocoon, reborn to the world

2026 year of johnlock as I've always said

want to recreate this photo for a Christmas card so so badly