Can't believe we missed this one... theonion.com/author-wishe...

sorry like america sucks and all that but i just saw a youtube short about a japanese guy on twitter finding out about free chips and salsa at mexican places and i might cry

Thanks Hillary! You're going to depress the vote by being the poster woman for "The Dems are okay with the Genocide" You absolute fucking plonk

All right, folks...logo reveal time! The old one has served us well these past 14 years, but we needed to rejigger it a little. (Plus @jerrybrennan.bsky.social finally realized we didn't need to write "Tortoise" and "Book" on the tortoise and the book.) Voila!

It’s been five years since Alex Jones lost InfoWars to the Sandy Hook families. As the verdict came down, he asked: “Do these people actually believe they’re getting any money?” He hasn't paid them a penny. Well, The Onion is going pay them anyway. The new InfoWars begins July 2nd at 8 p.m. ET.

Expect a wave of commentary framing this as the next step in Hollywood's creatively bankrupt hunt for pre-vetted, audience-tested IP, but don't let this discourse distract you from the fact that in 1998 The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.

Esteemed colleagues, I move that we adjourn this committee meeting on the grounds I am only a few pages away from a complete novel draft and nothing we do here will be more interesting to me than that.

"This is not a straightforward mob saga. Told in first person by the title character, it is more a blood-spattered, dystopian fairy tale about a guy with a “divine talent” that is harnessed for evil ends by a psychopathic crime boss." Awesome Newcity review of JGP! lit.newcity.com/2026/06/04/f...

The order code promo has closed...please stop calling. (Well, there weren't a LOT of callers. But you get the idea.)

“The only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself” — William Faulkner

🖤💗🖤💗

Spartan mothers used to tell their sons before battle to "Come back with your shield or on it," and that's how @jerrybrennan.bsky.social is feeling about the books he bought for Joe Peterson's book launch.

Look it's early but @jerrybrennan.bsky.social is preparing ARCs and an order for mailing so if you want to buy something you can get a lil discount...$5 off if you type ONEMOREORDER at checkout at www.tortoisebooks.com. (This promo code will self-destruct, probably later today.)

Old friends and new...we're getting ready for the FRANK BUCK launch party! Bill Hillmann's reading, and we'll have amazing spring titles by Becky Wills and @saralippmann ...and of course our main event, Joe Peterson! Jimmy's Woodlawn Tap, 1172 E 55th St in Chicago, Sat. June 6th from 3-5...be there!

THE DARK WILL END THE DARK: The surreal stories in this spellbinding collection bring the all-too-real vulnerabilities that we all live with into sharper relief. Check out the Small Press Picks review at smallpresspicks.com/the-dark-wil.... @tortoisebooks.bsky.social #bookreview #shortstories

Essential reading from @rebeccamakkai.bsky.social. Spoiler alert: while it is far from the only factor at play, there is a LOT of randomness in prize judging. (Just like in publishing!)

When the post is one character too long and you have to get rid of the Oxford comma…

I can't believe destroying Lamborghinis is not a good business model.

Old friends and new...we're getting ready for the FRANK BUCK launch party! Bill Hillmann's reading, and we'll have amazing spring titles by Becky Wills and @saralippmann ...and of course our main event, Joe Peterson! Jimmy's Woodlawn Tap, 1172 E 55th St in Chicago, Sat. June 6th from 3-5...be there!

Happy (book) birthday, Champ! The second edition of THE SURGE was published a year ago today from the fabulous @tortoisebooks.bsky.social. I'm truly grateful for all the readers who've given my debut novel a place on their shelves. tortoisebooks.com/store/thesurge bookshop.org/p/books/the-...

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 @epiphanylit.bsky.social (open till June 15th!)

@tortoisebooks.bsky.social Just got Joe's latest. Diving right on in!!

EPIC book mail from @archipelagobooks.bsky.social, @wakefieldpress.bsky.social, @tortoisebooks.bsky.social, @dalkeyarchive.bsky.social, @simonandschuster.bsky.social, and Nightboat Books! #bookmail #books #bookworm #summerreading

“Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion. Just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do”. - Tina Fey Happy Birthday to the brilliant and effortlessly talented Emmy-winning & Grammy/Tony-nominated actress, comedian, producer, and writer.

"It’s funny because sensitivity is such a strength as a writer, but you really need to steel yourself to publish." - @rachellayown.bsky.social. Great little interview!

Look, even the pope loves a good book. Now if we could only get him into Chicago indies... www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news...

Outstanding interview here with @saralippmann.bsky.social and @tortoisebooks.bsky.social on the publication of HIDDEN RIVER. A gift. "Lippmann situates this private violation within a broader cultural moment that commodified girlhood and framed sexual initiation as inevitable..."

True. #WritingCommunity

Tomorrow night!

Happy Pub Day to JOE PETERSON by the inimitable FRANK BUCK! If you want an amazing book about a fat loser who drinks a lot of vodka and blunders into a job as a hitman, this one's for you! Kirkus called him one of Chicago's best-kept secrets...come see why! bookshop.org/p/books/fran...

Grateful to the brilliant Yvonne Conza for sitting down with me and to Zona motel for featuring our VERY honest chat — and for shining a much deserved spotlight on @tortoisebooks.bsky.social outstanding editor and publisher, Jerry Brennan: open.substack.com/pub/zonamote...

Why are you working when you could be SAVING THE DATE?!?! We'll be celebrating FRANK BUCK from 3-5 PM on Sat. June 6th at Jimmy's Woodlawn Tap, 1172 E 55th St...and we'll also be celebrating our 40,000th Tortoise Book! June 6 has been primarily known for D-Day...now it will be known for two things.

The way that @splitlipthemag.bsky.social shows up for its contributors and staffers, past and present, always—is so beautiful and special:

Possibly the spiciest and most accurate take of the day.

Check it out! We've got @saralippmann.bsky.social AND Joe Peterson in the @chicagorevbooks.bsky.social May must-read list! So we're, like, a quarter of the books!* *That math was done by AI and is for entertainment purposes only. chireviewofbooks.com/2026/05/01/1...

Am I gonna get in trouble for this or...

Oh yeahhhh

Always a festive day, Sara Lippmann's newest gem, Hidden River, is published!!! Getcher copy a.s.a.p.!!!

Cannot wait to read!

Huge happy Pub Day to @saralippmann.bsky.social and HIDDEN RIVER! It's one of the @chicagorevbooks.bsky.social twelve must-reads for May, so if you live in the city you kinda have to get it. (Or at least read the interview with @rachellayown.bsky.social!) chireviewofbooks.com/2026/05/05/d...

Huge congrats to @saralippmann.bsky.social and Joe Peterson for making the @chicagorevbooks.bsky.social list of May must-reads! chireviewofbooks.com/2026/05/01/1...

In the arts the wonder is not that lightning does not strike again and again but that it ever strikes. —John Mason Brown

As I close in on the end of this new novel, I can't help thinking of the immortal words of Don Van Vliet, aka Captain Beefheart: "Art is rearranging and grouping mistakes."

In case you were wondering: Yes, there is a Jonathan the Great Tortoise angle to the Pam Bondi firing news.

Sooooo close to 40K units sold. It could happen this month. Today, even, if you're motivated!

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Exciting last-minute news...the incredible Becky Wills is having a launch party for her amazing debut STUN at Uncommon Ground TOMORROW NIGHT! It says RSVP by March 18th but we'll probably let it slide if you just show up.

Business Announcement...we've got merch! Why buy a concert t-shirt to support a band when you can buy a book t-shirt to support a book? Two now, more to come... tortoisebooks.com/merch

I’m extremely grateful to be able to work with @jerrybrennan.bsky.social, and proud to be member of the Tortoise Books family!

Super grateful to @rachellayown.bsky.social and @chicagorevbooks.bsky.social for this lovely interview! Get a glimpse of the publisher's life...if you dare! chireviewofbooks.com/2026/03/20/i...