Can't stop chuckling at this latest storm just being called "Dave". Who comes up with this shit😁

I know people don't like to think of bad things happening, but anyone could become chronically ill or disabled at any time, through no fault of their own, no matter how healthy they are It shouldn't only be disabled people having to fight the government all the time, it's up to all of us

Space? Hell yeah. Moon? Nah. Moon's haunted. #callback

Cheese on toast

Hear me out. Keep the State Visit, but send Princess Anne instead.

What the heck is this tiny broken-looking arrow-like icon? It’s in the *notes* of many of my PowerPoint slides. I cannot touch it, or delete it. What is it?

I mean What a shot 😂

Dudes rock

👀

Hey, sensible people that bought Brother Printers! Because they just work, right? Buy their printer ink too! It'll help keep them in business, and they offer a free pre-paid recycling service for your old toner cartridges! 👍

Cis women in the UK: please do sign this. And it doesn't apply to you, please share. Show that the transphobes fo not speak for us 🏳️‍⚧️ #NotInOurName notinourname.org.uk/petition/not...

Thisssss Why are we not on this time zone all the year round!

One of my namesakes in the US has made an appointment at First Amendment Tattoo. I dread to think 😑

This is the kind of content I used to love Twitter for. Thanks to @scientits.bsky.social (I think) for the tip off!

I'm sorry everyone. It's my fault. I ordered a new barbecue. The weather gods are laughing at me.

Ahh M&S, just quietly getting on with doing things right. Excellent.

Morning 💃

I can already see this will be today's Discourse, but for once I'm gonna join in. STOP ASKING ME TO DOWNLOAD AN APP TO BUY SOMETHING. If I can't buy it on a web page on my laptop I will go elsewhere.

One of the first offspring from my group of pals has just qualified as a Doctor. How is that even possible? She still 4 with butterfly face paint, surely 👵🤯

AI = “actually Indians” part 8647

100 people arrested for filming air strikes in Abu Dhabi. Takes "don't mention the war" to a whole new level 👀

Just a lovely little read. /timeline cleanse

England lost that game because of a stupid yellow card and two stupid box kicks in the last 10 minutes. Which sums up their season, really. How France can win the championship while giving away over 90 points in their last two matches 😂 bonkers, brilliant tournament. Love the Six Nations

It's bloody snowing ffs

The phlebotomist in this hospital department has music playing. When I sat down for him to do my draws it was Coldplay "Yellow" which contains the lyrics "for you I'd bleed myself dry" #timing Now it's a "How to save a life" 👀 #hospitalmusic

There’s a terrible tendency that any time anyone comes along and starts saying things that are popular from a left perspective, established thinking goes ‘all very nice yes, but it’s not SERIOUS is it’ even whilst all the accepted serious people fail absolutely constantly at the absolute basics.

Add "know how to dance" to that and you're basically perfect 👍

TWENTY THREE (23) red cards issued at the end of this Cruzeiro v Atletico Mineiro game in Brazil.

I recommend that those of us who do not live in the US make a big deal tomorrow about looking forward to British/European Summer Time starting at the end of the month, just to see what happens

Ok now #Wrexham to beat #Chelsea and it'll be a brilliant day

Cracking day of rugby 👏👏👏👏

DO NOT ADVERTISE ADOBE IN MY RUGBY MATCH #6Nations grrrrr

Setting up a new iPad. Obviously want to install Signal. Look what the App Store offered me when I searched for it... 😂 Cc @meredithmeredith.bsky.social

An observation test for your inner 8-year-old. Can you spot 12 deliberate mistakes? From Treasure magazine, 1965 Official answers coming soon (Even if you don’t reply, could you please ‘like’ or share this one?)

Being a professional NHS patient: Leaving the ultrasound department to head to your second hospital appointment of the morning, when you get a phone call from the NHS to rearrange an appointment, and you have to ask which department it is because you're expecting two callbacks 🫣

If this war ends because POTUS and Hesgeth have run out of bullets I'm gonna laugh so hard

Great thread. I got a tiny whiff of the Johnson in this clip

For the morning crowd

OK so far the Dave/ids are winning triumphantly over the Petes...

A propos of nothing at all, how many people called 'Dave' or 'David' do you have in your contact lists? Is it more or less than the number of 'Pete's? I have 13 Dave/Davids but only 10 Pete/Peters. This grew from a chat where I recalled a previous job where there were more Johns than women.

This "elite human capital" needs access to the Golgafrincham Ark B immediately.

❤️

There's always a tweet...

You can stop talking about Matt Goodwin now! Perhaps instead talk about Hannah Spencer, the person who actually won.

Rules to live by

The long 2010s are finally over

Or — hear me out — maybe, don't build a product capable of domestic surveillance or fully autonomous lethal ops to begin with? How is this difficult.

Excellent

more of this please