My response to criticism of the omnibus bill:

We’ll send New Brunswick the bill…assuming their fax machine still works.

That’s a wrap, bitches. #FeetUp

Barb Adams is such a crackerjack that she followed this account for months before realizing it was parody. Of course she’s behind this needless waste of government time fixing a problem that doesn’t exist. -ND t.co/Ts6Z60wyF6

RIP Jane Goodall, the inventor of Curious George.

Nova Scotia raised its minimum wage: because nothing says prosperity like a paycheque that still qualifies you for food banks.

"Premier Tim Houston says his view on order-making power has changed since forming government." Yup, that's how it always works. It's interesting how being the government changes one's view of government transparency and accountability. www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

We didn’t remove key sections of the transparency law. We just streamlined honesty. www.ctvnews.ca/atlantic/nov... #nspoli

Capers have invented DongDash. Making it happen in Cape Breton!

Soon the poors will fly as cargo where they belong!

With the Canada Post workers on strike, we’ve got the best looking private delivery drivers available. Just saying.

If someone did that to me I’d outlaw papier mâché faster than when I mandated schools to sing daily anthems. #bikehfx #halisky

We got off on the wrong foot with the cycling community. Since Dummy Mayor will be at the 12th annual bike ride, be sure tell him how much you appreciate him attending. Be sure to snap a photo shaking his hand! #bikehfx

The Protecting Nova Scotians Act ensures every logging truck’s commute is safe and clear…unlike yours, but hey, logging companies vote with money. #TrafficSolutions #nspoli

One dummy backed out. The other? #bikehfx

Today I won bull riding at the Nova Scotia Stampede. Stayed on the bull called the Barkhouse Ballbuster for a whole 22 seconds. Then I put him to sleep with a soothing lullaby. Walked off of him like it ain’t no thang.

Undisclosed? A ghost pirate crew has taken up residence on the ferry, insisting that the ship is theirs “by ancient, salt-soaked decree.” They won’t budge until someone dares a duel or pays them in seven barrels of rum (or maybe some Donair wraps). Don’t worry! We are ON IT!

I found this weird tail at the Nova Scotia Stampede. Must have fell off some weird hoofed beast. Anyway we’re having a time up here beating the drum for Nova Scotians. Lots of big belt buckles and it smells like John Lohr’s basement.

Nova Scotia’s bike policy: break your back pedaling while the ruling class rides in comfort, deciding whether or not you deserve pavement. #bikehfx

Engagement on X is like finger blasting a jar of mayonnaise: wet, sad, and no one else wants to be part of it.

NS: Takes 2 years and an AG report to change nothing in the school code of conduct. Also NS: creates O Canada in schools policy in 4 hours. Nationalism > safety

So we heard about people not singing the national anthem in schools this week and made a swift policy change. More O Canada, faster! Moreover, we’re bringing back other old classics like praying and chalkboards and lead pencils and stuff.

Don’t forget. I break my promises! halifax.citynews.ca/2025/09/16/t...

We were down sizing it up this morning. The only way to get the Hyundai free was to stick a finger in the arse of each bus.

Godspeed Ken Dryden.

Any street in Halifax is allowed to be a bike lane if you have a licensed chariot. #nspoli

I bought it.

“Transparency wasn’t high on the agenda then, and it appears to have all but disappeared today.” Jesus. Nitpick much?

This warranted a follow back. -ND

As we welcome students back for the 2025-2026 school year, we have a new policy: Every child gets a Lunchable at lunch, but only if they can spell “charcuterie.” Good luck students! Make it happen!

People want us to bring NS Power back under control of the province. I’m not opposed. We can do the following just as good as anyone: ✅ Incompetence ✅ Secrecy ✅ Excessive red tape ✅ Allowing data breaches ✅ Unaccountability ✅ Taxing the arse off ya

Nothing says reconciliation like a cartoon feather clip-art shoved in the corner by a marketing intern. -ND

They say the Bay of Fundy is a natural wonder. The wonder is that anyone lives on the New Brunswick side of it. #DimRoastsNB #nspoli #nbpoli

New Brunswick brags about being bilingual, but really it just means they can bore you in two languages. #DimRoastsNB #nspoli #nbpoli

What’s really funny is one of these MLAs apparently used to sling weed at Scotia Square way before it was legalized. Hint: it’s the Education Minister on the left.

And yes, umami is Latin. Ancient Spaniards used to say “ooooooh Mami” and it stuck.

Our lobster is world-class, our haddock is unmatched, and our scallops? Pure umami. That’s Latin for “good for the economy.”

Statistics show 11 out of 10 Nova Scotians were conceived in a Zellers change room. That’s why family values run deep here.

I'd love to know how much free parking at the hospitals is contributing to the density of cars in Halifax right now (in addition to the tractor trailers blocking intersections).

The only kind of spraying info we’re releasing is our lobster garlic butter aerosol. It smells heavenly but attracts every raccoon East of Amherst.

Me and my gold consultant are having a fun time doing exploratory mining in Guysborough County. #nspoli

Thinking we might buy out The Chickenburger just to make them use this logo. Doesn’t it just pop?

Dear kid named P: if I wanted to share the road with people dressed like superheroes, I’d go to Comic-Con.

Nothing says Nova Scotia like banning cigarettes (that do stink and kill people) for fire risk while allowing golfers to drive propane-powered carts across a tinderbox fairway. My logic is spreading!

@novasc0tia.bsky.social @dimhouston.bsky.social They should ban it for health and nuisance reasons. It stinks - even a block away.

Everything reminds me of him. *sigh* #HurricaneErin

The most popular baby names in #BattleRiverCrowfoot are “Uncle” and “Sis.” -ND

The #BattleRiverCrowfoot riding is basically one giant family reunion where the door prize is fetal alcohol syndrome. -ND

Chances are I’ll be making fun of #BattleRiverCrowfoot tonight no matter who wins because their version of Tinder is a bonfire where you swipe right if a cousin doesn’t have a cleft palate. -ND

Nova Scotia: Get Lit, Stay Hard.