There is literally no end to the number of treats I deserve because of this week

i don't know how much longer this will be true for, but for now it stilll is: 2019 was last year

Newsletter this week is about embracing the apple crisp. I did just that! Read here: a-sentence.beehiiv.com/p/every-year...

I was warned about toddler sickness but until you’re in it you don’t realize it means constantly wiping snot off your couch

me reading on the subway while everyone backs away: oh no, it’s not me, it’s just my mayonnaise book

one gross thing (among the endless gross things) about the AI actor thing is that no one even considered making it a dude I bet

i think i cried every day of 2002

a saudi arabian comedy festival where all the jokes are censored is a ‘90s SNL sketch that did not age well because will ferrell and chris kattan played middle eastern characters, not real life in 2025

you can tell the kind of day I’ve had by what my toddler is eating for dinner. tonight, at his request, it’s a waffle with peanut butter and banana and a side of castelvetrano olives

everything is terrible but my husband just put my toddler in a tiny suit

Every day there is a new piece (or many) of the saddest news I've ever heard, and it's especially brutal to consider that this is being done on purpose by our government.

imagine if all the people who believed they were getting raptured actually got raptured. the whole world would feel like LA during coachella

winding down for a night of watching whatever interests me most on the least evil streaming service I subscribe to

One of the first actions the Northeast Public Health Collaborative has taken is to issue their own COVID vaccination recommendations, based on professional medical societies. coronavirus.health.ny.gov/system/files...

"just you wait for a year from now when the fascists willingly hand us the power to convict you all of your many varied crimes"

in the middle of a writing retreat!!* *retreating from writing like it's my dang job

I killed a bug so big I have left it on the bottom of my shoe for three days so I can show my husband when he gets home from his work trip and he can tell me he’s proud of me

"Vacation arguments are real arguments with wings; they reveal a bird’s-eye-view of yourself, a perspective you’d never seen before and swore didn’t exist." A perfect & eerie end-of-summer story!!!

i....

the thing about celiac disease that no one tells you is that sometimes you have a nightmare but that nightmare is that you ate a roll and didn't remember until it was too late

This is the run of 2013 Instagram posts from my family vacation that inspired my story, A Police Station Shouldn’t Have Two Girls, out now in @gonelawn.bsky.social! Obviously the story is fictional but my imagination for details is apparently quite limited!

Oh my Gone!!! I am so excited to have a short story in this issue of @gonelawn.bsky.social! It’s summery, it’s spooky — September is basically the perfect time to read it, if you ask me. 🌕✨

did GBBO score a 100% on charming likable people you actually wanna root for this season or is my desperation for innocuity just at an all time high?

Oh my Gone!!! I am so excited to have a short story in this issue of @gonelawn.bsky.social! It’s summery, it’s spooky — September is basically the perfect time to read it, if you ask me. 🌕✨

Never mind those pesky clouds, look there! You can see the corn moon all glowy behind them. The corn moon is here for you! Love the corn moon, it loves you. Late summer is beautiful, is it not? Gone Lawn 61, here you go! gonelawn.net/journal/issu...

we're live baby! send em if you got em 🙏

this is like if you had a human on a leash toy, what kind of rob zombie-esque sadistic torture household is this

Actually, Frankenstein is a doctor success at the Venice film festival

September

finding it hilarioussss to ask my husband for things the way my toddler does. i just went “wawu?” in my smallest voice and he brought me a glass of water. he hated everything about it but i’m having fun

they're never gonna ban AI because it kills teens, we're the actual worst in the world at outlawing harmful things that murder children when those things could be making rich assholes richer

the relief of clicking an article to hate-read at 11 pm and seeing it’s paywalled. i am just gonna GO TO BED instead. i am free.

If you subscribe to my one-sentence newsletter (link in bio and below) you get one sentence every week, and sometimes (one time, last week) it includes the track list to my Taylor Swift parody album “The Life of a Snowgirl”

the museum thing is so fucked and transparently fascist but it's also so so stupid, where are the dems being like "this dumb bozo doesn't understand what a museum is because he is extremely stupid"

turns out you can have it all* *raging period cramps and a toddler with a fever at the same time

I haven’t been this excited for a bubble to burst since I was a toddler.

We live right by our town’s high school and can hear the marching band practice through our walls which I have to remember because I really truly for one second believed I was getting summoned by a game of Jumanji

Slightly diminish a band: Single boatwood Mac

Me, toddler mom, catching up on this week’s news: a footlong must be a nickname for some sort of weapon, right? like a foot-long knife or something. can’t possibly be — oh.

oh cool! the last remaining argument for the use of AI, gone! just like that!

having such a time that i’ve lost two different things INSIDE THE DISHWASHER in the last two weeks. losing my mind

I think the Hostel TV series will probably be bad but I am happy for Paul Giamatti who has basically been begging to do horror in every press interview he’s done for like the last five years

if you order nachos and a side salad and dump the side salad on the nachos, congratulations, you had a salad for dinner

colleges lying about standing up to trump:

any time zach cregger makes a movie i like to remind people that he was in Wrecked, an extremely funny and underrated TBS Lost parody that you should watch if it's possible to watch anywhere (which i'm not sure it is)

like i know they're doing a lot of things they "can't" but why CAN he just do this

Did you know that firefly glow as larvae and pupae? I found this shrimp-like pupa in my garden earlier this summer. 🍤

WAIT