RIP Greg Bovino

Someone needs to tell Kanye if he wants people to forget the Nazi stuff he needs to have a Station To Station/Low/Heroes/Lodger run when all he's been putting out for years is Earthling

Nice movie you got there, would be a real shame if someone treated its themes and subtext as unintentional Freudian slips that I divined through the study of old, half-remembered, Buzzfeed articles

"Y'all act like you never seen a white person before Jaws on the floor Like Pam and Tommy just burst through the door" - Me, winning over the tribesmen of North Sentinel Island

Sources say turning the other way up could be about to happen for Netflix videos

They turned the plane around because he had a type of bowel movement commonly known as "a real home game situation"

Homan owes Pete Hegseth a drink as a thank you to the guy who took all of the heat for being a blatant alcoholic.

Take the grip pads out of this man's shower.

Aside from Scott Adams, did anyone go insane because of UPN?

adult size crown royal bag you could crawl into and pull the drawstring closed

Any reporter who doesn't ask this man how much he's had to drink today should be pelted with bricks

Once some customers who were milling about in a parking lot where I worked complained to the manager that I would've hit them with my car had they been standing where I was driving. I can only assume their kids are ICE agents.

Prometheus and Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice

This guy's entire bit is just one of the personality disorders where someone gets off on being annoying.

w-wow, your a scene girl??? and an alcoholic???? and u look like my daughter????? humina humina!!!!!! please don't tell anyone i write for the atlantic

He's trying to use what little time he has left to bring back the Dilberitto, like an American version of Ikiru.

In middle school I got my mom to buy a brand-name shirt instead of the usual resale and outlet store poor kid stuff and within 5 minutes of being at school an older kid said: "Oh look who thinks he belongs."

What happened to stuff like Spider-Man failing English because a bank robber dressed like an animal won't stop kicking his ass?

With 60 Minutes, much like USAID, they are forcing me to defend an abysmal institution for neutering the few good things they accomplish when they're not just doing CIA agitprop. Come on Barri, just bury the story in between segments of Leslie Stahl making googly eyes at a Rathyon drone.

From my cold dead hands

2026 gonna be my year

Pretty good pull from the office Holiday vendor expo

The great thing about drinking out of a glass is that since I've done it tens of thousands of times there is no way to mess it up goddamnit does someone have a napkin?

OBAA is better but this one is still one of the decade's best and will be more popular who want to hear what's right with their politics rather than an assessment of what's gone wrong.

Zelda Goatse Gate or the Metriod Pussy Puerta Which way western man?

Starting to see AI photos while apartment hunting and I think it's amazing that landlords are letting people know up front they are cheap bastards who will cut every corner they can.

Dude ur getting a Dell

slowly sucking in my gut while I pee so it looks like I'm deflating. all the other guys at the urinal trough hooting and hollering like I'm David Blaine. guy in the stall is trying to shit faster cuz he knows he's missing out on something but he's not sure what

I suppose all games are ultimately played against our own limitations

RFK reading sex poetry to Olivia Nuzzi

Deliriously wealthy scavenger hunters when they see a downtrodden and forgotten Godfrey

Pub is out of French onion soup so I am eating a big bowl o' salt.

Dart finds himself hopelessly entrapped in a concussion protocol with arbitrary and capricious rules, not knowing how he got there or how to escape.

Now what are people going to drive in bike lanes with?

Sickos

anyone else think this whole Dick Cheney death narrative is a little... off? ex-VPs just don't suddenly die. I have questions and so should you.

Whoever wrote this should have to send their kids to sleep on a bed of depleted uranium rounds.

Dick Cheney died as he lived; so unpopular even the most contrarian engagement farmers don't want to eat the ratio that would come with praising him.

I just saw a beige Pontiac Aztec that was NOT part of a Breaking Bad costume, just someone's everyday car, and I feel like I should be allowed to go home to think about that.

Even fewer with a perfect single cover

Sorry I haven't been posting lately, been very busy working on a woke Randy Newman impersonation that's been taking up all my time

I'm increasingly convinced sports leagues won't divest from gambling until an athlete gets killed and even then it's going to have to be a photogenic one.

The Brewers' whole existence is pretty much what Eephus is about.