holmes and watson were on the case yet again. they'd tracked the murderer to his evil lair, but he'd slipped through their grasp by mere minutes. holmes was stooped over the hearth, magnifying glass out, sifting through the still-warm ashes for clues.

i am a veritable cormorant for unusual word usages

shichimi togarashi is magic. i know it's magic because a) it tastes great and b) unless i am staring directly at the jar, the name slips completely out of my mind sideways

For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one thot or one tittie shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

i think a lot of north american branding is pretty disappointing but this is really top notch stuff here. bad pun, cute animal, nice sweater, ticking every box for me

every time anyone posts any take about what the best pizza is, i find myself murmuring, "yes, that's true"

with the chopping of my unc, something wash-ed this way comes

idea for a skeet: "i've been experiencing a lot of nocturnal emissions lately," and then you link to,

🔨🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🥚🍳

long egg

Denial Of Service XX

the cattle are lowkey

how many cardigans can you wear at once without looking a complete dingus challenge, some say zero i say three

this is where i often post from. "a posting throne gathers no moss" they often say

(\_/) (°-°) />(\<͟/) (°-°) />(\<͟/) (°-°) />(\<͟/) (°-°) />(\<͟/) (°-°) />(\<͟/) (°-°) />(\<͟/) (°-°) />(\<͟/) (°-°) />🍆<

super excited to catch these guys later this year

don't be such a fucking longmilksop

if you don't love me at my poog you don't deserve me at my emils

A1 Jasz A2 Ar-Gu A3 An-An-An-D-D-D A4 Ba-Dr A5 D-D-Bo A6 Na-Drm B1 Ur-Ur B2 Danse B3 Dasz B4 Roos-An

there is nothing new under the sun, we bringing back heliocentrism in a big way baby

hey jims cmere a a second

(hip teacher pose, leaning on edge of desk with one leg dangling) you know kids, it's like Shakespeare said in Richard II... "But time will not permit: all is uneven, And every thing is left at six and seven".

introducing a rough-and-tumble gang of youths to '99 bottles of beer on the wall' to establish my street credentials. "no, just wait," i assure them, "in 32 verses it gets really good"

I sit at the perimeter of all my social circles extremely on edge waiting for one mistake or less than graceful moment from any of my friends so that I can use it to destroy their lives

in canada they were actually called toque babies

involuntary shudder imagining if social media had been around when seatbelts were made mandatory

the days are long and cold, and the julies of yesteryear so easy to forget

yknow how email scammers use intentionally poor spelling to filter out everybody except the easiest marks? the new yorker's usage of diaeresis follows exactly the same principle

this is a pretty fuckin solid fit. wonder what this jacket is?

unlike many older american men, ive never been sexually attracted to frank sinatras voice

was laurence sterne aware of proboscis monkeys

conservationist Predator preaching catch & release policy to his peers (poorly received by many)

do you ever cough your trousers

(Peter Murphy voice) Bela Tarr is dead

oh shit bela tarr died last week :( i didn't see anything about that just got wikipedia jump-scared by the past tense for the first time in a while, he was only 70

When those children, sick in bed, Heard that talk about length'nin' milk, Popped up well to dance and sing, Skipped around and cut the pigeon wing. Bert and Ernie embrace passionately,

has anybody else been hearing a lot of baseless rumourmongering that mamas little baby loves lengthenin milk

Bark Simpon. The child with the spiked head. He is unruly, yes, but His father should not strangle him so. Homage Simpon.

May the hosts of Beelzebub bite off your pricks and then spit them out as unsavoury, may Belial juggle with your ballocks, may the great Lucifer himself pedicate and irrumate you in fine Catullan fashion. Hell's a fable, though not for you

huh. so in ancient greece first sophist just meant teacher (neutral), then came to be derogatory, like how we use 'sophistry' today. and then in english 15C onward, sophistication meant sophistry, until in the 19C it somehow came to mean wise.

im finally watching sinners and noting that punctuality must number among the more crucial virtues in a vampire

teaching your grandmother to suck beans

this is how you review stuff on the internet 👍

i would like you all to meet my beautiful new brainbride, Sashiko Cliché

you can lead a pig to lipstick, but you can't make it wink

my fursona is the reddit mascot

i'd just like to circle back on this one for a little bit of mild revision: i would actually definitely classify gyoza as a beverage