figure

I got the autism diagnosis at age 15 and for years I was like "No way that's true. I don't fit [rigid criteria]" which is pretty funny in retrospect.

I've squeezed all I can out of this perceptual apparatus. All the pieces are on the table. This is obviously a false statement since it's still going, but I wanted to say it anyway because it's a useful thought for the moment.

Losing my grip in the most grip-holding way.

This just happened to me.

This is my friend Track Faultline.

Damage not pictured.

firewood

From my window I can watch the bats swoop around in the evenings and early mornings.

It's Cease Seeing Saturday. It's Sightless Saturday. It's Sever Your Optic Nerve Saturday.

Can't even waste my life in peace. Due to the evils.

I should have said "being in a body" because no matter how high or low it gets, I remain the observer. This has reinforced my belief that I would rather feel okay than great. It's useful in that it makes unaltered perception seem less intense in comparison.

Smoked some more weed and I think I'm currently experiencing the zenith of pleasure. This is about my limit. I believe I would not tolerate more than this. Being a body is very stupid. This has been and will continue to be an educational experience.

I'M SO SLOW! (finished six digital pieces in the last seven days and made good progress on the oil paintings)

Putting "adept sublimator" on my resume.

I'm saving the title "cetacean shape" for my magnum opus.

figure

[fromsoft text] CATEGORY INVENTED

Can't decide whether "all art is realism" or "there is no realism"is the funnier dumb position to entertain.

Even when life is good I don't like it.

firewood

I love my futile endeavor.

Using "it's so over" as an affirmation that the past can no longer truly hurt you.

Couldn't sleep last night so I looked through "Une semaine de bonté" for the first time in a while. It hit me quite hard. I want to steal so many of these compositions. I want to make an art book. Not one with stolen compositions. These are two separate desires.

There is no way of knowing for sure, but I like to think I've gotten pretty good at not seeming too strange at a glance, but once I open my mouth, it's over.

Max Ernst had birds. I have non-existent animal.

The Perfume Genius song "Whole Life" has one part where he sings "shadows soften toward some tender light" but I hear a "k" sound in there so it sounds like "jackdaws soften" which is a fun thought and also Softened Jackdaw is what my name would be if I was a Metal Gear character.

Asking the physical therapist for a healthy posture that looks slightly creepy.

Is the part that does not want to be a mere product of relations also a product of relations? Asking for a friend.

three fighters, 2020 or 2021

A painting is like its own graveyard.

In my dream, CAN was making a concept album/rock opera about two rival football clubs. I was going around this huge but very provincial looking city picking up session musicians, mostly by accident. My mother, who looked nothing like my mother, said it was the best album she ever heard.

I'm a realist actually.

Everything is very complex and I'm a dumbass, augh!

I wanted my art not to refer to anything despite knowing that it inevitably does. But that's tied to perception as well. When you look at art, any art, a certain way, the thing it refers to reveals itself to be extremely specific and unknowable to you, so it might as well refer to nothing.

Ok, ceaseless change, change unending, alright, I'm in. But what if? Perhaps? We fence it in? No, hear me out. I'm not saying control it. I'm saying establish a perimeter. I'm sure that's fine. I'm sure that won't cause problems.

we pluck salads from / seasoned patches hosed by the / balsamic lion

Garage Bad Dream Adventure protagonist wearing a "women want me, frogs fear me" hat

Damage not pictured.

damage assessment

I'm a realist actually.

north-western approach

Me intentionally making art that is difficult to parse: Haha fuck yeah!! Yes!! Me looking at my own art, unable to parse it: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

At any given point, the krumm canon consists only of the last handful of images I've posted.

This is good, but it would be better if it were on a wall-sized canvas.

north-western approach