Need to date a girl with crocodile jaw

I want to create the world's first incel museum

got too high

If you like walking you need to watch The Long Walk

I believe in the power of cryptids

My dream Riyadh Comedy Fest lineup: - Fozzy Bear - Aaron McGruder - Live showing of Prairie Home Companion - Felix Biederman - Achmed the Dead Terrorist (Jeff Dunham not coming) - Mr. Bean - Salad Fingers

I actually don't care that gamers are oppressed

There's probably good k-pop out there but everything I've heard sounds like they forgot to put the music in the music

Women don't pop out pf clamshells to sing anymore

It feels like there should be somw kind of background music playing most of the time. That's how I know this world isn't the real one

David Lynch movies are like real life; idk what's going on, there's hot girls in it

I relocated to Illinois in the hopes I'll be featured in an adamnkilla video

Trainspotting could've used a lot more trains imo

How tf do I still have a gender I'm almost 30

I'm becoming woke

Oh holy fuck man, just shared a knowing glance with a guy wearing the exact same hat as me. Exhilarating

I hate The Naked Howling Disgusting Cannibal Changeling Pervert but it would be rude to brandish my pitchfork at him while he’s feeding

Kid detectives are surprisingly great at solving crimes

I move at a surprising speed for a woman my size (lanky but slow)

I'm gonna be the one to bring back Swag I can feel it

Day 1 of getting into skating: wife twisted her ankle

The Tron world feels 100x more real than our world. Not convinced this is the real world

Literally no one I know was wanting a new Tron movie except for me. And I'm hyped af

On this day the first American whiteboy heard his first ska record and changed punk forever

Just saw a dog on roller skates do the Akira slide and I started crying with joy

Ridley Scott is such a history dad

Suburbs are genuinely kind of evil imo. Amplifiers of isolation and thus human suffering

Got into another fight with the wife concerning the Spike Spiegel body pillow

Getting really into aesthetics and vibes

Ur girl's at my house we're watching old PBS Idea Channel videos

Why do like no natural musicians wear glasses? What if you have bad eyes?

I think most of the Muppets are allowed to say the f-slur but don't do it out of principle. There's exceptions ofc

We need to bring back Swag

Three Doors Down voice: 🎵If I'm autistic then would you still give me Tylenol?🎵

Instead of Frank Ocean's "Novacane" it should be called "Tylenol" and it's about autism

I've downed six bottles of tylenol just tonight and I actually do feel like shit lol

I wonder if John Waters has seen any Filthy Frank stuff. Probably

Michael Mann vibes

my rubber Bill Maher mask + attachable silky wig calls to me from the closet like an even sexier green goblin

Late 20s is a weird vibe

The pregnant air was filled with a pregnant silence. "I am pregnant", he said, pregnantly

iCarly is science fiction

Going jester mode while eating pussy

Through it all I've been goofy

I keep trying to post about Walter Benjamin & my phone keeps glitching out because I took too many blurry ass pictures of an armadillo burrow by the creek in the dark too rapidly & my phone overheated & keeps shutting down. When will technology be able to keep up with my forces of production

Will Smith just slapped Chris Rock during the Oscar’s

He's been 31 years old for twelve years

everyone assumes Im a man bc all I talk about is jacking off on here ,but women can have hobbies too

Don't let me suck the weed pen I'll say something stupid like "The internet is the last true agora"