Just caught up on the overnight match, and that has to be the best night for the neutral ever?

Time to read some Orwell

FIFA absolutely shredding the last of its notion of impartiality for a striker who has had a decent session at the 7th-placed team in Ligue 1.

This is just like when FIFA arbitrarily lifted Ronaldo's red card suspension except it makes the team better

Italy 1934, Argentina 1978, USA 2026?

Fairly livid the BBC has only just come up with the "stay up or catch up" idea for the World Cup when England are involved in a late game, when they didn't do the same thing for Scotland's first World Cup match in a generation.

Incredibly, Norway are now the second-most eastern nation left at the World Cup

How did Austria get this far?

The apostrophe in Ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayit'sworldwouldfallapart

Best thing Matterface has done all tournament is describe in detail what was happening with the pitch invaders.

Did Harry Kane announce his retirement just before taking that shot?

Just stick Big Dan Burn up front FFS

Hamish Hawk not beating the "David Hyde Pierce from early Frasier" accusations with this suit.

Alternate reality where McDonald's was founded by an Icelandic woman, and nowadays people use Deliverysdottir to order a Crispysdottir and a Nuggetsdottirs.

The 6yo's school did a sweepstake for the World Cup. His class got 🇹🇷🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇧🇷, if any are still in on the last day of term they get an extra break time So it all comes down to whether Brazil beat Japan tonight, and I'm letting him stay up for it Feel like I'm heading for the mother of all tantrums...

Marsch Madness

Never has an on-screen pop-up been less necessary than "Voice of Duncan Ferguson"

Norway have gone so far into Viking stuff this World Cup they've even now had a goal scored by Asgard

Scotland's defensive passing is like my 4yo walking around holding an open cup in one hand. Well done, you can do it, very good. But there's no need to and it's just going to end in an accident.

Genius of Scotland to have an away kit that is the same colour of a sunburnt Scottish fan in Miami.

My football hot take is that the World Cup should be awarded to a continent rather than a nation (or 2/3/6 nations...), with groups based in single countries or at least close regions (e.g. Benelux/Scandi) Semis and final should be flexible, so nobody has home advantage. Like the old FA Cup semis.

Absolutely baffled why there's no scrutiny of that Konsa challenge. Fairly sure the offside came after that moment?

Hydration Break today (England fans normally like a refreshment or two)

Terrible quality but this is the clearest video I can find of Djed Spence refusing to shake Partey’s hand 🫡

This Matterface, Dixon, Neville, Pougatch cocktail is pure emetic.

Tbf the Mendes goal is legitimately funny

Lee Dixon: "Everyone who loves football will be happy he's scored"

Sad that Starmer has gone without ever getting the sausages back.

Poor Taremi not getting to do his prepared celebration. And surely it's going to be ruled out too

Same, Svanberg

This ref is letting *everything* go, what an opportunity to leave one on Hakimi.

What the hell have Puma made the Morocco kits from?

Sake

Cannot even fathom Scotland qualifying without putting us through the ringer

Spitting feathers learning that the World Cup is using h2h rather than goal difference as its differentiator. It's properly stupid to use that in a tournament where 3rd-placed teams progress for 2 reasons...

Cannot wait to see the xG race chart for this match

Can I get a replica referee shirt with the name of that one who didn't give the Mbappé penalty on the back?

BBC think they're too good to use the proper FIFA 3-letter country codes for their scoreboards. IT'S COD NOT DRC YOU SHITS

Ronaldo is well and truly in his Soccer Aid era now

A 40-year old keeper and a defender recruited on LinkedIn, drawing with one of the World Cup favourites. Amazing stuff.

What a game LinkedIn is having

Spain would probably be doing better if they didn't have Michel Salgado, who Wikipedia says is 50, at right back.

Massive relief at the @theguardian.com sports desk as a minor off-field story means they can talk about England ahead of Scotland.

Love that red card. It was such an unnecessary tactical foul, hilarious that he's got himself sent off for it.

Can't believe the number 13, who just happens to be called Shithole, is having an unlucky World Cup

For all this World Cup's flaws, you've got to admire the boldness in hiring the Doritos band to play the goal music

I honestly cannot wait for the World Cup... in 2030. It's a great tournament, and it fucking sucks that twice now the enjoyment of it has to be tempered by the awfulness of the hosts and FIFA.

Brilliant half from Scotland. Now... sub the lot please

GREG DAVIES: seems like a kind of a shit task. Everyone just seems like they're going home normally. ALEX HORNE: well before you say that let's have a look at how Odysseus did. cut to panel of AJAX, MENELAUS, AGAMEMNON, and DIOMEDES who are all staring at ODYSSEUS with his head in his hands