ㅤ ㅤ( head quickly lifting, visibly distressed as the both of his hands would clasp over the heir’s. ) ㅤwhaddyah mean ?! alpha - !! ㅤyou always do good ! everything you do is perfect !! ㅤwhy would you say that !? ㅤ( if someone like alpha harley wasn’t any good… then, that means… ) ㅤ

oh， i will ruin you. it's a habit， i can't help it. i know that you mean so well， but i am not a vessel for your good intent.

ㅤ ㅤ( an eye twitching. hues fixated on beading blood around such an easily self inflicted wound. ㅤwas this a usual occurrence ? had the clown simply been too absorbed in their psychosis to notice such a thing ? ) ㅤ… kohaku - ㅤ( pressing his hands to their arm - who the hell was he ?? ) ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤthen i decline !! ㅤ( a stomp of an almost bare foot down, turning away. chest lifted until the cold ate too painfully at him, slinking back inward. ㅤthis… * thing. always wanting to “ help. “ he didn’t need it.. he didn’t - ! ㅤ… pulling hair over his shoulders. shuddering once more. ) ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( the sudden bite would twitch at his eyes, almost drawing another whine from him - albeit, under a different kind of desperation. ㅤleaning forward as he’d separate, as if unprepared for such. yearning - err… expecting - ? something further. now left staring, caught in some unforeseen act. ) ㅤ

I think there’s something wrong with me. I don’t know. I feel very weird. I think I’m having a panic attack.

i can't stress enough how much it means to me that you're trying

ㅤ ㅤ( delicately pressing palms to his features, gently tugging his head downward. hesitating for a moment, eyes scanning over his face. left hovering tantalizingly close. ㅤthen, lightly pressing his lips to the others. lashes naturally fluttering shut upon connection. ) ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( the world was moving slower, hands reaching out, aching for his hands to return. heterochromatic hues trembling, locked with red ones. ㅤthough, the brief moment seemed to clear his mind just enough for him to find the strength he had so suddenly lost. blinking, processing his words. ) ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( frozen within his hands, staring for several moments. shaking hands falling over the other’s wrists. ㅤhe could feel his heart beating in his throat - the way it suffocated him; he could’ve sworn he was seeing double. ㅤwhat.. does he do now ? ㅤeach breath sounded exasperated. desperate. ) ㅤ

i'm sorry, don't leave me

ㅤ ㅤ( … breath hitching. ㅤshakily exhaling, pressing their palms down their thighs, knees pushed together as he’d hang his head. ㅤ say something normal. think something normal. normal. normal. ) ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤthat - … ㅤhohh… ( * ♨️ ) ㅤ… but you don’t want to kiss me, gonta. ㅤ

so are you a boy or are you just your trauma?

ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ #SeductiveSunday ㅤㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ.. don’t say silly things like that. i might do something stupid if you do. ( * 💧 ) ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤslowly, a smile would reappear onto his face, proceeding to giggle profusely. bouncing onto each foot repetitively while trotting closer to the entomologist, standing on unnecessary tip toes. ㅤ” i haven’t been sleeping without kohaku’s special stuff - or you. and i think i like you more. “ ㅤ

these flavors of personality are hindering my likeability

ㅤ ㅤwow. uhm. okay guys. this just got. yeeeuuuUUUUUUMM. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤoh. well. i guess we can go with yours then. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤno.. that's weird. that's not a ' used to ' feeing. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ” oh - ! ㅤuhm.. i - i had a thought. but, it was no good… improper, i think’s kinda the word for it. oruaahh, ‘ inappropriattte ‘ “ ㅤ

starseed 🪱 i may be late, but is that not the best way to be had

ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ @gentlemologist.bsky.social ㅤ

i'm not afraid of feeling, and i'm not afraid of trying i'm just afraid of losing, and i am afraid of dying

ㅤ ㅤbe.. because… - ㅤ( grabbing onto the exterior of the coat, eyes faltering. ) ㅤ… cause i’m no good - i - i’m sorry.. ㅤi keep wanting tah be better.. but - ㅤ( a quiet exhale, paired with a shudder. ) ㅤs - sorry. i don’t.. didn’t mean - thank you. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ” wahuh - ? “ ㅤsuddenly a tad panicked that * HE had said something wrong - or, that he said his inside thought aloud ?! ㅤ” nuh - no !? did i ?? “ ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ” nuh uh !! “ ㅤa shake of his head, smiling casually. ㅤpausing. thinking. smile fading, looking about. inhaling - ㅤ” … oh - well. “ ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ” i think there’s an inconspicuous fourth wall telling me things. ㅤ… or ! the meds are wearing off !! “ ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ” wait what. “ ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( hands running over the front, eyes falling, as if in awe by such a simple thing. lifting in response to their words - the chime missing. and yet, nodding regardless, paying little mind to said discrepancy. ) ㅤwhat about you ? ㅤdo we need to go to your lab - so you can get another one ? ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( somehow, whilst being bundled by the other, his face had managed to grow brighter. surely only by the cold pricking at his nose. ㅤstaring. swallowing. ) ㅤ… we’re friends.. right, alpha ? ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤoh, yeah, definitely. and he was only panicking because he thought he was losing his magic. not because he missed him or anything stupid like that. who would think such a thing. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤusing his magic mind powers of telepathy that he definitely has to send brain signals to gonta so that he’ll manifest before them on command ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( obliging, lifting his arms for the jacket to be slid upon. ) ㅤ.. th - thuh - ㅤ( it was like the words were foreign - refusing to be spoken unless forced. ) ㅤthank you. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( slowly turning his head towards the other. eyes uncomfortably wide. ㅤopening his mouth to reply, but allowing the words to fall short. pupils darting between the jacket and the boy. then, quickly nodding. ) ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤi - i don’t - ㅤ( lifting arms to wrap them around himself, nails digging at bare arms. fighting that uncivilized urge to scream and throw a fit. ) ㅤ… i was just. saying - i don’t need your help. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤwahuh ? uh.. ㅤ( staring for a brief moment. then, nodding promptly, following in pursuit. ) ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤ( snapping out of whatever senseless daze he was in to look at it. then back at the other. ) ㅤ… that’s not what i meant - ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤoh - uhh - ㅤ( gears grinding in his head. ) ㅤ… no, it’s fine. ㅤ

ㅤ ㅤdaily affirmations: ㅤi will make that sexy twink pay. ㅤi will make that sexy twink pay. ㅤi will make that sexy twink pay. ㅤi will make that sexy twink pay. ㅤi will make that sexy twink pay. ㅤi will make that sexy twink pay. ㅤ