The disciples could not believe their eyes. Standing before them, the Risen Christ smiled tenderly as he greeted them with an earnest, “LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS?!” #21stCenturyBibleStories

Jesus came back from the dead to clear his browser history. #21stCenturyBibleStories

If you haven’t seen CRIME 101, allow me to summarize: The absolute dumbest motherfucker from your 1st year film school class tried his very best to re-write HEAT despite the obvious disadvantage of not understanding it at all

I don’t want Brendon Little to stop playing baseball. I just need him to stop playing baseball for the Toronto Blue Jays.

Okay but who does Virginia Woolf revert back to when the moon isn’t full?

You’ll never believe what the guy from the Radiohead album cover looks like today!

Who wore them better?

Conversations have made it clear that there’s only way to properly mourn Charlie Kirk, and it’s by fucking his wife.

Don Jr looks terrific

Not sure MLB has ever had a scandal-free Hall of Famer as compulsively unlikeable as Frank Thomas. Just relentless Cop energy

Well this is goddamned delightful

Not since Super Nintendo Chalmers has anyone so prized their Honda Accord:

In this era of nation building projects, the McDonald’s breakfast poutine MUST be made available in all provinces, you divisive goddamned monsters

Michael Douglas looks like a guy who just finished reading the Complete Sexual History of Michael Douglas

I assure you, those are not the Rotten Tomatoes scores

Ohhh yeah I’ve seen this movie

Donald Trump killed two Canadian pilots. The end. That’s what happened.

And now let’s all stop what we’re doing for 7 minutes while The Protagonist backs their car into their parking space. It is truly an honour to be a supporting player in Your Story.

Holy shit hstikkytokky is the most scared, fatherless shit I’ve ever seen hahaha good lord

Oh man, RIP Rodger Brulotte. A true baseball pioneer.

Poilievre going on Rogan in 2026 is like starting a grunge band in 2000

What’s on for today, America? Starving to death as a result of your own stupidity and racism? Must be a day ending in Y!

Once we stopped making talent the cover charge for fame, shit got really mediocre, really quickly

Does Polymarket or Kalshi let me bet on which members of the MAGA regime will be executed?

Family Guy has name-checked the Raptors in two separate episodes this season, and I just want to thank them on behalf of the Toronto Life intern they’ve gifted with the laziest article of their lives

I realize now that Canada had to lose so the US could have their hearts broken in the most public way possible.

Oh please let us watch every single one of them have to wait for their silver medal #WBC

YOU READY TO SHAKE HANDS NOW CAL? #WBC

Mark DeRosa right now #WBC

Haha Mark DeRosa now you have to marry your mother in law!! #WBC

If you’re rooting for Team USA to walk it off you’re probably in the Epstein Files. #WBC

Ah, dignity.

Welcome to your Shia LaBeouf years, Timothée!

Lol of course American umpire Cory Blaser gifted Team MAGA an illegitimate win at the WBC. The shitbox USA can’t ’win’ any other way!

In fairness, Megyn Kelly has a much bigger penis than Mark Levin.

There’s still one Canadian left in the WBC and he’s about to leave an exit wound in Team Pedo

Like all definitely alive people, Netenyahu has not been seen in days

Right now it’s easier to find Waldo at a striped shirt convention than it is to find Bibi, because that motherfucker is 1000% not alive anymore

Baseball would be as popular as soccer is globally if it was always played LIKE THIS.

Gonna miss u when u starve to death, America

On a scale from Guy Lafleur to Louis Leblanc, Sam Montembault’s Habs career was solidly... Latendresse

Antisemitism is bad. Islamophobia is bad. Criticizing the Israeli government led by Netanyahu is not Antisemitism. Criticizing Hamas and the Iranian regime led by Khamenei's is not Islamophobia.

“Beware the Ides of March, Caesar.” “Oh please. What you gonna do? Murder me and then name a mediocre salad after me?”

❤️ 🇨🇦 😍 #Canada #Canadian #ElbowsUp #Never51 😍 🇨🇦 ❤️

Team USA playing like they’re super motivated to shake the same hand Trump used to measure children’s vulvas. #WBC

Really appreciate Bryce Harper doing everything he can to prove former Expos GM Dave Dombrwski 100% correct.

The fun thing about Bryce Harper is that he’s washed up and he sucks. #WBC

American Frat Boy at my resort: “You’re getting WORKED, bro!” Me: “Yeah but my PM doesn’t fuck kids and you’re about to get drafted and shipped off to Iran.” Frat Boy: 😐

I’m just a Canadian baseball fan humbly asking Sportsnet+ to not be a complete fucking shitshow just once ever

I am 46 years old, and would like to once again reiterate that there is no scientific possibility that Albert Pujols is the same age as I am. #WBC