playoff gritty is a revelation

Luckily for ICE agent Jonathan Ross, he only murdered someone. If he had taken a photo of seashells on a beach, he'd be in *real* trouble.

Current* conditions near Chicago, IL:

86 Alito

Jamie Ding continues to delight

😭😭😭😭😭

So it's "gay" to eat a salad? Only people who gnaw on raw meat slabs need apply?

You are terrible for Michigan and this country. I usually plug my nose and vote blue but I couldn't bring myself to vote for you in November 2024. Pretty much every day you reassure me I did right by not voting for your corporate bought ass.

8647

I'm about to make these into my whole identity.

Why is he still alive?

First place at bar trivia again tonight. I also won all three rounds. Cheers to being smart when it comes to trivial knowledge.

When is Hugh Grant going to stand up to Billy Bob Thornton?

My 7 yo nephew got his first tablet to keep at nana and papa's house. I am now in a Minecraft meme war with him. Being an auntie is the coolest job ever.

The way I’ve filed away the attempted assassination of Trump in 2024 now that we know the details is that it was a school shooting that happened to target a presidential candidate. This is kind of life in America now, it’s just permeating the elite bubble.

I don’t know what the story was last night and I’m not going to bother finding out because whatever they’re feeding us will be total bullshit anyway so fuck it

Maybe don’t go to the Nazi Dress Up Party next time and we’ll cut you more slack

Reasonable people will read this word-salad post from Trump and conclude that last night was all about winning support for his gaudy ballroom.

OMG this is peak Jaden. The middle of an intense fight with everyone throwing fists after Jokic sprints down the entire court directly at him and Jaden’s just like “lol, nah, bruh”

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜😍😍😍😍😍 Jaden McDaniels you magnificent human 🤣

YOU KNOW JADEN MCDANIELS LIVES HERE

A white man started that. The NBA would suspend a black man if he instigated that. They better suspend Jokic. HEmotional bitch. LETS GO WOLVES

I told the husband I wanted a Malice in the Palace and I damn near got it.

Gotta work late on a Saturday serving the worst people in the world and then a gunman tries to kill people and then you gotta stay at work

Pour one out for the Hilton staff who are working perhaps the worst shift in food service history rn.

Wolves and Nuggets are on ESPN if you don't want to watch Shit Pants McFuckFace speak.

"Fuck Hardaway. I never liked your dad." Husband is salty af right now. I'm usually the asshole commentator when we're watching sports. 🤣 These refs are fucking clowns. Imma need Finch to get out there and kick some dirt on the refs like it's an MLB game. Fuck the nuggets. Let's go Wolves.

Trump’s motorcade should stop by McDonald’s on the way home so Grampa McSleepypants can have a consolation treat.

Been offline for a couple of hours, seems like this country is doing great.

the irony is that there are many journalists who are threatened and killed for their work globally, except they don’t overlap at all with the people willing to attend the MAGA White House correspondent’s dinner

Speaking of shots fired I’m going to shoot myself if ant is seriously hurt

NOT FUCKING ANT TOO. The Wolves down Dante and Ant. Man.... I give up. They could've at least given us some good news coming from the #WHCD

Klay Thompson dumb as fuck.

Is he going to come back out with another maxi pad stained with ketchup on his ear? #WHCD

I'm assuming Norah O'Donnell is pointing at Stephen Miller, telling him she's looking forward to doing whippets with him and Greg Bovino after the sorbets.

I don’t know if you guys are following current events rn but if this Royals pitcher gets one more K, I get one free item at a Price Chopper!

Oh come on. Don't cut in to the Wolves Nuggets game. Only interruption I allow for the NBA playoffs is a white bronco chase.

wow some exciting tv tonight (playoff hockey)

Fuccccckkkkkk. Not Dante 😭😭😭😭 #Wolves #Timeberwolves

Just had Detroit style pizza and bumpy cake for dessert. Doesn't get much more Michigan than that.

French Saffron Laundry Sauce is the most delicious thing ever. I don't want to sleep I just want to smell my sheets.

It's sweet and it's sour And I want to devour Mango Chutney Mango Chutneeeey

If Pat McAfee has zero haters, I have left this planet. What an douchebag tool.

The establishment Democrats are not on our side. They are bought and paid for. No matter how shitty things are, people aren't just going to hold their nose and vote "blue no matter who".

Trump hates wokeness so much that he fell asleep AGAIN during a White House meeting

Whether it’s Donald Trump extorting $10 billion from the United States treasury or Joe Biden getting a free cone from a Delaware ice cream shop, both presidents used the office for inappropriate financial gain.

Just watched Thursday's Jeopardy episode and whew. I was more nervous than I have been watching the Wild and Timberwolves playoff games. 🤣

This is now a Jamie Ding fan account. I was 10 episodes behind on Jeopardy and binged them and the people's prince, Jamie, is still going.