Person whose comedy is always 1-2 months behind the zeitgeist: "HEY GUYS, HOW COME NO ONE POKED-OPIA ME TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS NEW NINTENDO GAME? JUST DON'T TELL ZOOTOPIA TOO, WE MIGHT SUFFER FROM AN OPIAD OVERDOSE!"

[opening scene of the 2026 remake of Citizen Kane] "Woke pope..." *dies*

youtu.be/K7gRN_l_rgk Good morning bluesky. Stay safe, be well.

"Would Alan Turing be a protogen or sparkledog if he was born 24 years ago?" Sorry for anyone searching protogen or sparkledog on this site, this post is only for Alan speculationists.

*while blowing up advent in xcom 2* "Obama should've done the Red Wedding..."

[To the tune of Last Resort by Papa Roach] MY NAME IS SEARGENT PEPPER THIS IS MY LONELY BAND

Resisting the urge to @ ign with this.

It's important that you not be horny for Bluey. You have to be horny for Bandit and Chilli instead, the most sexually active animated couple on TV since early Simpsons. You can be horny for them all you want, and in fact the Australian Government encourages it! Who are you to deny them?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=anKd... Goodnight, Bluesky.

I'm tired of seeing that man kiss the carpet. I want to see a republican tombstone instead.

horrible soundbite: "GNOMEBAMNA" gnomebama voice: "Let me HEE clear. He HOO does not fool their old chums... I think that's not the kind of gnome our country should aspire to."

Kash Patel was nearly in my blunt rotation yesterday!

it’s a great day for transphobes to eat shit

Q: Is "Do you hate questions?" a bad question? A: I think every bad question has a good answer. To me this is a the dialogue of every Hot Ones and Last Meals.

I had a dream I made someone laugh with my used marijuana needle joke. It was only a dream though; overdosing on used marijuana is no joke! 🌿

This would still make us lose less planes than the current administration.

I saw a cryptobro the other day! Terrible creatures.

Assassin's Creed Galaxy

My social media website for small lizards: skinkstagram

I'll join my friends ketamine conversation once I properly articulate that while it's great for suicidal ideation the effects basically go away if you don't do it for six months or so. And if you do it legally it's hellishly expensive.

Amidst a wave of new economic terrorism from the president, the vice president announced "we love terrorism" while actively participating in multiple illegal wars, acting in defiance of congress, and committing genocide amidst other terrorisms. Sources say this shit sucks and we hope he dies soon!!

I saw a cryptobro the other day! Terrible creatures.

Pumpkins are a fruit.

*not bothering to distinguish between posts due to tiredness* I can't believe Hideo Kojima reposted cartoon erotica of Paul Blart

going to do a youtube investigation into if guy fieri smoked weed or if the flames on his shirt were just for show.

I am constantly saying this to every politician.

This is what I say when I see AI posted.

pressing buttons for engagement (while the world burns)

Stupid neverending warcrime hellscape. Clinton shoots down a plane and molests children, Bush went on a mission from god, Obama droned and deported, and Trump is the worst! Sets everyone back 100 years and kills MILLIONS but gets a free pass by Republicans because they like the racism. Fuckers, all.

I'm so good at this

I will be back one day And I’ll find you there by the great big lake

You might have to cover up your Harry Potter tattoos, but I’ll never need to cover my knuckle tattoos that say MOBY DICK GOOD BOOK unless someone notices that my left hand says “dick book”

This might be Iranian propaganda AI slop, but I'm going to repost it because- WHOOPS SORRY I ALMOST WAS AN IDIOT!! As a reminder we don't ever need to see the AI slop. Stop quote-dunking on it, no one wants to see it.

Shout out to dark souls 3 even if I never beat either dlc. One day.

If anyone asks what "Drown Pete Hegseth in Diarrhea" means, it is the name of a satirical poem, not a call to action. If you take it as a call to action there's nothing I can do about it. I won't even help suggest which iced tea to consume for maximum diarrhea output.

I'm going to hack every F35 to play Doom and when the pilot selects the difficulty the plane self-destructs.

A reminder that you can't get in trouble for threatening to kill fictional characters. That being said, I'm going to kill Harry Potter. I'm tired of hearing about him, I'm going to kill that little wizard boy and frame it on A.K. Yearling, who I will then also kill.

Unfortunate, but true: the only antidote to poster’s madness is having a rich and fulfilling personal life

Far more qualified. Hilariously more qualified. On fewer fun drugs, more antipsychotics, and less stimulants, but still insanely more qualified than kash funny.

"I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU HIS FACE ALONG WITH SOMETHING HORRIBLE HE SAID/DID" fuck off with this style of reporting or reposting. Quit paying attention to idiots.

Rootin' Tootin' Rasputin (Breakcore Remix)

theonion.com/video-game-v... This one really stuck with me when I was nine years old and it's still as timely.

This is as believable as any other news article, he madlibs the most insane bullshit and we're supposed to believe this man should have access to the world's largest army and nuclear football at all times. Well back to the data mines with me!

It appears I have reobtained my swagger!

The era of justice will come! There are songs of hope too! I would gladly give my life for this world!

THIS IS THE STORY OF A (eighth-rest) GIRL

Secrets to tell Cast a new spell Heaven & Hell Kenan & Kel

The Resplendent Defendant and The Computer Prosecutor in: NO JUSTICE

everyday world hell