Went 5 nights back home without incident but crashed out on my mom on the last night about Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl #soclose

And I can put my leg out the bed. Everybody wins.

I just saw a woman wearing a cheetah print jacket that was very cool so I said “great jacket!” to her and she smiled and said “Jesus loves you! There’s a God in heaven!” This is why you never break the mind your own fucking business rule.

Phlebotomist: are you good? Me: yeah I just disassociate while it’s happening

The OMNI readers were down at the uptown 25th street A/C/E station so I asked someone on the other side to open the emergency door. A literal 7 year old walked over to open it, then I held it for like 20 people. I love my city #nyc

Million dollar idea: create the American version of a vuvuzela for the 2026 World Cup. I don’t know what the closest potential American “instrument” would be, but I assume it would just sound like a fart when you blew it.

The South Park dudes about to fall out a window

Getting on a plane for the first time since December. If I don’t make it please politicize the fuck out of my death and get my family paid

Live shot of @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social at tonight’s debate #nyc

I can’t stop saying flotilla in my head like Glorilla

Dining al fresco in soho at 4:45 pm Waitress: will you be having dinner? Me: uhhh sure if you wanna call it that #latelunch

Whenever I see aspartame written my brain tries to read it like it’s Spanish which is more fun imo

Yes’cers for pacers is the wackest shit I’ve ever seen #ecf

Justice for the pronunciation of Thibodeau’s name. Every time someone hits the Thib instead of Tib a ghost is released from a grave in New Orleans

Oh shit Halliburton is gonna wish he’d never done that. No matter what happens tonight.

Does anyone else hear Method Man saying Mikal the way he says Tical in their head when they read Mikal Bridges name or just me

How is ESPN sending me end of quarter push notifications a full 30 game seconds before the quarter is over

Draymond hitting multiple threes pack it in #warriors

Sinners (2025)

It was a wrap as soon as Draymond opened the game with two 3s

I know pita chips and hummus really hate to see me coming

COME ON YOU GUNNERS!!!! #coyg

How do I tell Apple TV to stop trying to throw me to the next show and instead add a “Skip the international credits” button so I can see the Severance aftershow you literally teased at the top of the show

Eroxon is maybe one of the best drug names to drop in quite some time 🫡

“Ohh I DO enjoy a wild cherry Pepsi 🤔” - my marketing susceptible ass after every commercial. Why did I have to be born right when they rolled back all the protections around advertising to kids 😩

I think I might have acquired that same burning desire to not pay taxes that all right wingers seem to be born with bc given the current state of affairs in pretty sure it won’t matter anyway

Pelicans at Mavericks? I don’t think I could want to watch a game any less

Kendrick really came out the gate with the victory horns on Euphoria. He knew it was done before it started he just had to hit go 😂

This severance edit is why they wanted to ban tiktok 🤣🤣🤣

Up in the Air (2009) but it’s set in 2025 and George Clooney uses all of his frequent flyer miles to attempt su*cide by plane

Damn, if John Madden were alive today he’d feel even more justified taking that bus everywhere

This is exactly where my mind went 🫡

The synchronicity of this having BEEN the pgLang logo and then also in the moment an a minor and Aubrey like the edible has folded me officially

I almost passed away #kendrick #superbowl

A fist fight would be less violent than that smile

OH SHIT JUST CAUGHT THAT THE CHAIN IS AN A MINOR💀💀💀 #superbowl #kendrick

The executive order fallout is going to be historic #superbowl #kendrick

HE DOING NOT LIKE US AT THE FUCKING SUPERBOWL HE SMILED AT THE CAMERA SAYING “SAY DRAKE” WHOLE ARENA SAY “A MINORRRRRRR” 100/10 no notes

Counterpoint: dance on their graves

I think he doesn’t have another round in the chamber and then he brings out Serena, greatest hater ever

I can’t breathe #kendrick #superbowl

NOT WIGGINS 😩😩😩 #warriors

Alright well it’s midnight and I’m amped up so time to make a cocktail and watch Kendrick reaction videos

Beyoncé album of the year! Come on!!!! What a show. Thanks for that #grammys

Kendrick had no plan to win any of this shit. He was just hatin and look where it got him. There’s a lesson there!

HEAD SHOTS FOR THE YEAR YOU BETTER WALK AROUND LIKE DAFT PUNK #grammys

Not Mustard getting the Heinz mustard collab 😂😂💀

I would walk into the sea if I was him

MUSTAAAAAAAAARD I CANT BREATHE MY CAT IS TERRIFIED #grammys