(I’m about to bite a big sandwich but a dog with wings flies up and steals it out of my hands) whaaaa (the dog hovers above me and pisses on my floppy sun hat) ughhhh (I notice a table with a fallen over beaker labelled “imp dna” dripping into a bowl of half-eaten dog food below) buhhhhh???

If you take a math class in university they let you meet some of the numbers

I’m doing a “the perfect drug” style drum showboating break every band i’m in every show i don’t care if i get off-tempo one second in

Please share my fundraiser for @jayarner.bsky.social with your most famous and rich friends, followers, enemies, associates etc. We’ve got 59% more to go! www.gofundme.com/f/help-jay-a...

New service where you send me your song and i make the intro lofi

The #1 comedy podcast about horses (Retail Nightmares) is back for one episode! If my fundraiser reaches its goal we’ll make another one :) @aliciatobin.bsky.social @energyslime.bsky.social @grahamclark.bsky.social retailnightmares.com

In the first episode of the castlevania netflix show the guy notices a really high ledge and then a few episodes later he comes back and double jumps onto the ledge

*curses you so your bananas go directly from green to brown*

SHARING IS CARING: It’s fingerblast Friday yet again: use your fingers to click da link and blast some $ over to @jayarner.bsky.social Help us reach 30% of our goal! 🤞🏳️‍⚧️

FFS is obscenely expensive so I’m doing a fundraiser 😅

I could probably catch a wild pokémon with a poké ball in real life

No i will not write “lyrics” what am i a fucking bard?? Grow up

Moon alert

If i was an opera singer i’d wear ripped jeans n shit. Fuck the fans of traditional opera

The woofing of the dog. The neigh of the noble horse. For centuries humans have longed to understand their poetry

Just realized that in 2019 i should have asked clairo to collab on a track. Jay u goofed it again

Unfortunately sonic the hedgehog has gone feral and bit james marsden

🙋‍♀️ Hi, former carpenter here! Cutting towards yourself is actually really badass

Niche post but ROCK RADIO MIX ENGINEERS you are all BANNED from using the decapitator plugin 👩‍⚖️

I think this is fair

Taking all the beauty and pain of transitioning and putting it into music will be no problem for me (wrote the song “bongo dance” with my wife)

Dealing with everything by licking a big ativan like a horse

I’m in the kitchen making elevated dog’s breakfast

This is my son

Guy who never learned about the penis: WHAT the HELL is this thing on top of my balls!!!?

😮 wow a dragon 🐉 that’s right u little fucker 😮 do u breathe fire and everything? 🐉 i’ll roast a damn corncob on the spot 😮 that sounds really nice 🐉 watch me fucker. Now let’s have some corn together 👨🏻 annnd that was a scene from “the hunger of the beast”…. BIZARRE film 🧑 bizarre film

my personal advice is that music is the best investment and friends are the second best investment. which is why going to a local show and buying all the merch is the most fiscally sound thing you can do.

Dracula once again sweeping up at The Vampire Awards

Humans are the most pitiful animals because they literally just made something up and then let it consume their lives. Of course I’m taking about “fantastical mystery” style tv shows starting with “the grand old dame” ABC’s Lost

Dogs and cats should be able to receive factor grants

Follow me on bluesky. Once is not enough

I got my ears pierced for this

Nu metal guitar player using a capo. Just something I made up :)

Summer 2024 when Jessica and I came out on Vish’s podcast 🤠

business tomato

They should make a diarrhea with piss in it