do clothes get left behind

Imagine willingly leaving your dogs to be raptured

We should just cancel Thanksgiving and Christmas now.

Christians tomorrow: “so today was a test of faith…”

Rapture facts: Jesus won’t take you if you’ve ingested acetaminophen.

I’m on social media because of Tylenol.

Hey guys! Make sure you throw hearts in the chat if I should eat something healthy for lunch! *me, alone in my house, no livestream, trying to make work from home life more exciting.

Wait what time is the rapture? Is it Eastern or Pacific time? Is it even in an American time zone??? Is Japan still there??? *me panicking because I know I’m gonna miss it

Well folks I think we can finally put this topic to rest.

Can’t even hate watch the Bears to fix today.

Sunday ruined.

Packers just handing the game to the Browns.

Chicken Soup for the Heavy Metal Soul

Has anyone tried giving the US a Snickers?

New band name: Shitposting in The Streets

If you use a service called “cox” and expect not to get fucked, that’s on you.

Imagine if our bodies made a Bluetooth disconnection sound every time we stopped listening to someone.

It’s probably the microplastics in my brain causing these feelings.

Fascism

Freedom of speech? More like hand me the bleach!

Scrolling through hate on the daily!

Attention span? What’s that?

Remember that speech is only free if your opinion matches the regime.

It’s time for every couples favorite nightly game shows! “What’s For Dinner?!” followed by “Can You Cook Tonight?”

The internet is definitely a problem

John Wayne Gacy says Jeffrey Dahmer ‘made a killer bowl of chili’

If Ted is still standing there, then Texans are still looking at hateful garbage.

Patrick Mahomes just did his best Caleb Williams impression.

I actually wear my sunglasses at night to get quick naps in.

The Funnies > Social Media

I put a couple fries in my mouth and then sipped sauce to avoid spilling while eating dinner in my car. I may have found the best food hack or a new low.

Historically the Packers have been terrible at containing QBs who can scramble. This defense has shut down JD and is going to be fun to watch this season! Go Pack Go!!!!

Jordan Love has a 15 yard adot tonight lol. In a league that’s trying to turn everyone into checkdown machines this is just objectively fun to watch.

There is no correct response on how to act anymore when terrible things happen, because humans suck.

Work life: 1. *Open large Excel file 2. *Make slight change that freezes file 3. *Sip coffee and think how meaningless this stuff is until file unfreezes 4. *Repeat steps 2-3 until file crashes

“Blah” -Toad

It’s cook the food time

The Bears still doing Bears things 😂

Go put your pen to paper and write your story before you end up watching your idea be put together by someone else.

Best I can do is Tajín

Yeah I do manly stuff. I just glued something together for my wife.

Cram that play calling up your cram hole LaFleur.

Finally Sunday! Going to let Golf and the Packers dictate my mood today and tomorrow.

the okayish gatsby

Still waiting on you, Red Rover.

Business idea: a bath bomb that’s actually a bomb.

What Mike Johnson meant when he said that Trump was an FBI informant:

Whiskey is good for your soul 🥃

Gremlin’s > Labubu

Throw in a hawk tuah after the kickoff.