Me: I don't care about the personal lives of artists I like, that's none of my business. The internet: Miriana Conte is dating a gay Maltese footballer named Jade Flask. Me:

Watching UMK now because I was busy last weekend, and I cannot believe this Mumford and Sons toothpaste commercial named themselves "Handsome." Incredible. They're like if KAJ was five Mormon brothers with no sense of humor. #umk

Just checking in with all the other Sarahs who are Dropout subscribers -- how are we feeling about Jacob Wysocki looking directly into camera and saying our name? Anyone need to be talked down from a parasocial ledge?

When I was a kid, it was Midsummer (my senior quote was "and those things do best please me that befall preposterously"), but as an adult it's Much Ado.

In last night's dream, I came up with a riddle: If the Stone Temple Pilots are like the sun, how is Brennan Lee Mulligan like the moon? I unfortunately did not dream an answer, but if anyone has theories I'm all ears!

This morning's "get hyped" playlist shuffled from "Hummingbird" by Paraloubis to Lizzo's "Good as Hell," and then into Käärijä's "People's Champion." I love a chaotic genre shift!

Add this to the list of things that sound more metal than they are, along with recent Danish Eurovision hopeful "Touch My Love and Die."

Apropos of nothing, my brain just started singing the lyrics of "Love Potion #9" to the tune of Frankie Valli's theme for Grease. I wish I could harness that outside-the-box thinking for something like, useful.

Aaron Tippin: 🎶The older she gets, the slower she goes🎶 Me: Girl same

Just sitting next to a half-packed bag, 12 hours before I leave for my first trip out of state since The Before, pondering "I wonder if Mr. Lordi considers himself a performance artist." 🤔

An excellent example of "I can hear this photo."

The GOP is running on pure evil.

My romance hot take: The reason that the majority of modern romance stories (esp romcoms) hinge on a stupid misunderstanding is that, whether or not they realize it, writers are still trying to follow the Regency model -- a time where characters literally couldn't "just talk to each other."

After many Instagram clips I decided to check out the webseries Pretty Gay, and I am happy to report that episode 1 with @scrambieggs.bsky.social gets the official "laughed so hard I had to go get my inhaler" seal of approval 🏆

Let us all try to be deserving of John Darnielle's faith in us.

I saw this tumblr post a few days ago and thought "Aha, a humorous overreaction, how droll." Then this skeet came across my dash today casting aspersions on my literal favorite food on the entire planet and I became one with seravph.

What fun! I knew I'd be fine at least until 1400 (and that was when I came across the first word I had to look up) but I also managed to read almost all of 1300 with a little effort! And I'm pleased to say I even got some of 1200, at least enough to guess where the story was going 🥳🏆

Mysterious Skin, which I was glad to have seen but wished never to see again, and Midnight Cowboy, which I honestly wish I could fully erase from my memory.

3. Sour Patch watermelons 2. S'mores Pop Tarts (raw only) 1. Chili Cheese Fritos ✨👌🥇

When I am on my death bed, surrounded by my loved ones, perhaps they will say "Tante Sarah, do you have any last words for us?" I'll take one shallow, rattling breath, and with the last air in my lungs I will say "I wish I could have found out why the old Jewish man on Leverage S2E7 was uncredited."

I love it when people message me to say "I'm not going to post this online, but..." Thank you for trusting me with your spiciest takes 🥰

Once I dreamed I was reading the TOS for an app and it asked "How many German cereals have you eaten in your lifetime? Hungriats? Paprikos?"

Hahaha no don't be silly, I'm not embarrassed to realize I called Kyle Alessandro "Kyle Alexander" yesterday. That's totally a reasonable mistake to have made, and it definitely won't be popping up in my mind when I'm trying to fall asleep years from now 🙃

Marko's hoodie and sunglasses while handing over the trophy are giving "I'm just here so I won't get fined," but his body language is "teeheehee I'm a little scamp!" #dora2026

Tbf this is my first Dora, maybe it was very different last year. But after Baby Lasagna's insane near-win just two years ago, Croatia's best result in 30+ years/best result ever independently, I was surprised not to see anything with even a whiff of his influence. Am I wrong? #dora2026

I loved Stela Rade's accordion from heaven -- it's such a shame they didn't lower it enough to nail the illusion of her playing! She still gets points for including it. 🪗 #dora2026 #moaraccordions

Me: There better be some rock bands today Ritam Noir: 🙂 Me: ...Ok, there better be a rock band who looks like they're actually having fun. Cold Snap: 😜 Me: ...nm #dora2026

Also, Devin is like if Marko Bošnjak was put in a Stefan Urquelle machine trained on Damiano David's DNA. (This joke is for 5 people.) #dora2026

Yesterday "KENNETH," today, "DEVIN." Europe is apparently full of mononymic pop singers who chose their names from a middle school role call in 1998. #dora2026

Croatia really does have every flavor of Marko, don't they? #dora2026

Ritam Noir is not rocking as hard as their aesthetic promises. #dora2026

FINALLY, someone who came to have fun! This is what I was missing yesterday, some real silly goofball nonsense. Just hoping the lyrics to "Raketa" won't be awful when I look them up later... #dora2026

Painful to see Ema in an outfit that was clearly designed for movement, just lazily strolling a few feet in either direction as if she and her creative director had a fight about whether this should be a park-and-bark and nobody won. #dora2026

So I'm new to national finals, but is it normal to do a medley of winning songs and NOT include the one time you yourself won? #dora2026

Hearing the polite applause when Lil Marko walked onstage at Dora 2026 and remembering the audience losing their minds when Big Marko returned in 2024 just makes me feel bad for the kid. #dora2026

Wow. Earlier I said "Rosalinda is the only one I could see winning Eurovision in another timeline," and clearly the audience agrees. They were booing like crazy when the jury gave her only middling points, the hosts had to take a moment to tell the audience to calm down. #benidormfest

Really loving this guy who looks if Baby Lasagna had a Tommy Cash era. #benidormfest

"Be careful when you jump, or you'll burn your butt hairs and it smells like chicken." These English subtitles are adding so much to my Benidorm experience, I hope they never improve. #benidormfest

Ahaha, I even knew that and the connection didn't occur to me. I was so excited to find out what that weird metaphor meant 😆

The captions just served up the phrase "To wet one's lips with a daisy," and I am DESPERATE to know what that means in Spanish. #benidormfest

Spanish performer, in Spanish: [[Before I go on stage, I always tie my shoelaces twice.]] English captions: Before I go on, I have to tie myself up twice. Language translation is an art ✨ #benidormfest

Technical difficulties made me three songs late, but I'm finally watching actual #benidormfest and the first act is very "Kyle Alexander puts Olly Alexander and Windows95 Man in a blender" which is...certainly a choice! #benidormfest

Apparently the actual Benidorm Fest doesn't start for another half hour; some friggin blog misled me about the start time. Can't believe I woke up early on a Saturday for this...at least I got to see Sissal as a result! #babysfirstsupersaturday

Oh dang, I came in late and thought Sissal was an interval act. Look at you girl, going for another bite at the apple! I hope she at least does well. #DMGP

Tbh I'm glad I realized Latvia and Denmark were happening at the same time, because we're an hour and a half into the live coverage of Benidorm Fest and not a single song has been performed. I mean I expected chatter and filler...but not like this 😅 #babysfirstsupersaturday

The very last thing I ever want for a live music show is in-camera effects. Enjoyed Kautkaili's vibe otherwise, and I would have loved all that in a music video...but it's not what I want from this kind of show. #LSMSupernova

That song didn't do much for me but the title "Touch My Love and Die" is incredibly metal and also EXACTLY why I love Eurovision. #DMGP

How did I go from "I've always wanted to watch a national final but this year I feel conflicted...I'll just put Benidorm fest on and see what it's like" to "I have three European music contests streaming live simultaneously"? Personally I blame @eurowhat.bsky.social. #babysfirstsupersaturday

Krisy's "Take It" stage show is what straight men think happen at women's sleepovers. #LSMSupernova