I don't understand why so many people want me to Top. Is the dearth of good tops really that bad that you have to settle for me?

From the archives: [At the gay club] HIM: “Dude, what’s in your pocket?” ME: “Oh, I’m just doing the handkerchief code thing.” HIM: “That’s a semaphore flag. Where did you even get this?” [Meanwhile, at sea] SAILOR: “Sir, the merchant frigate has indicated that it’s a bottom into blowjobs.”

Tell you what, I'll compare, but the bigger cock has to Top 😉

All Night Gangbang

Unfortunately stain on your blue dress? Bill issue.

Omg y'all, did anyone ever mention how amazing Food is? It's incredible. #PostEvent #BottomDiet

That moment a friend posts their OF or similar page and you just think "tee hee, that penis has been inside me"

I think that was the first time I've heard my ass described as "a religious experience" before

Man, even my fruit snacks are flagging colors, and a lot of them are mine as well 😉

Me: If I had a trust fund? Guuurrl, I'd be the sluttiest slut to ever slut Friend: Trust funds for sluts would be an AMAZING charity Me: I think they call that OnlyFans

Wait, I'm *not* wearing a jockstrap, harness, and bandana today? Weird, but alright. When do my pants come off? They stay on‽ Are you sure‽

This is objectively the greatest and coolest Star Fox news of all time

I'm so not used to the compliment that I don't know how to reply to "fuck, you're so fucking hot" other than with "thank you!" and "so are you" There's gotta be *something*

Top Vers Top Vers Vers Bottom Bottom Power Bottom

There's something incredibly heart warming when a fucking thick as FUCK cock sinks to the hilt and all he can say is "fuck! You took it all!"

Alright, let's get bred. *off-stage whispering* Get THIS bread? That doesn't seem right.

I didn't go shopping at Mr S while I'm in San Francisco, why would you think that? (New pup hood on order, not shown) (they didn't have all my colors in stock because they're packing for IML)

A question for the ages. Does Cerberus have three knots as well as three heads?

Tired airport husky

It's happened a couple times now but it seems being called a Good Boy sparks something deep in my brain I really should examine one of these days.

This kind of mixed use urban planning is illegal in America

It's honestly flattering when a Top flat out says "Fuck, your hole feels so good, I'm not holding back" and unloads in a couple minutes

Post a meme made by you

Y’know, Oregon has a particular way of dealing with things that have beached themselves and died…

When you're desperately trying to pull your hand off your cock so you can finish getting ready to go out and get fucked

Oh no, it's cute and I like it and now I need bandanas in multiple colors to color coordinate with outfits

Holy shit, that was the most incredibly sex-filled adventure I've ever had. I'm absolutely exhausted so in the morning I'll post a full write up to the TG channel (for those that follow, DM me if you want a link)

Regina, Reginas, Reginos, Reginamos, Reginir Or if you want the pluperfect subjunctive, Reginiéramos

Gear is so expensive sometimes. I wonder... do I really need *two* kidneys?

Just so people know there's now an option to disable the AI button in telegram desktop in settings > advanced > (scroll to bottom) experimental settings > (scroll to bottom) Hide AI Button Looking for the one on the app now lol

"People who fuck are sexy. People who want to fuck are needy. People want to fuck those who fuck. Or hear about people who fuck. Not just a desire to fuck." Well damn [friend], who needs a decade of introspection if you're just going to point out what's incredibly obvious in retrospect?

Wait, you have to *build* them now‽

Right, since distribution to individual folks was starting to get untenable, I just finished setting up a Telegram channel that is the new home of my slutty little adventures, if folks want to read about them (SEVERE NSFW). If you want to join and read the stories, you know how to get ahold of me.

Fuck, last night was incredible but I'm absolutely wrecked. Absolutely everything is sore.

Hey Body Dysmorphia, can we *not* do this right now? As I'm getting ready to head out to the bar?

"Man, this jockstrap is funky! Better give it a good scrub." #KinkyHorror

"Well guys, I asked you for recommendations of tops that would look good on me, and I gotta say thank you but I *was* meaning shirts"

Important personal thread (1/6) That moment you realize you've missed a bunch of parties (sexy and otherwise) over the years because A: you didn't realize you were invited, B: the hosts didn't realize they had to invite you, trusting that talking about the party with/around you was enough

All these bottoms around me are going to turn me into a Top at this rate #ImABottomDamnIt

Just remember that while you’re doubting yourself, someone is out there wondering how you do it all. 🫶🏼

Holy shit. #TADC

Ok, this is super cool

It's like a Monty Python sketch!

Not me putting the kettle on, forgetting to flip the switch, and then wondering why it's still not hot 15 minutes later >.>

So having watched KPop Demon Hunters a few times, I find myself in the minority as something of a Celine apologist. There are two points that a lot of people criticize her on that I'd like to take a moment and defend.

It's only available for the next couple days but I highly highly highly recommend watching The National Theater's production of The Importance of Being Earnest. Do *not* procrastinate on this one friends www.youtube.com/watch?v=obX-...