Congrats to JB Smoove for making the football hall of fame

my sister googled "fun things to do in Boston this weekend" and it told her to go sit on Storrow Drive and watch a bunch of college kids peel their rented Penske moving trucks open like tin cans

This is incredibly beautiful storytelling.

Rick Pitino with big "Michael Corleone but also Dorian Gray" vibes.

Great work by Roger Federer's kid in winning another Slam Dunk contest

I give Mac McClung's dunk a 51.

I'm looking good with my parlay (Eagles money line plus Chiefs to lose at any time)

See, this is why the Pats cheated -- fine, we could lose, but never by this much. Cheating works.

I'm watching Bills - Lions, it's real good

Philadelphia Kendricks vs Kansas City Drakes

The Eagles winning because of DEI (a white cornerback)

If you're thinking about the game we're all thinking about -- the offensive line held firm in that one, which allowed everything magical to happen. Hell, I remember an unbeaten team losing because their offensive line couldn't handle the pressure. "Power. Power wins football games" - Bill Parcells

Seal ad first one my wife laughed at here. Toddler looked at Seal and just said "No."

Squarespace marketing team: "America loves one thing, and that's The Banshees of Inisherin."

Cool new play from Philly there. Breaking out the new stuff for the big game.

Mahomes running for his life. I've seen this movie. Uh oh.

Atrocious scorebug. Made for Fox median viewer

Halftime is Kendrick ft. Luigi, should be good

Just send the President to this stuff every day. He can stand and wave and the next day he can go to another thing and stand and wave. We have enough events to make this happen.

Okay let's see how this site handles the game. Let's go memes

I can't think of a single gov't entity in the US, save the armed forces, that gets the attention the NHS does. Failure of messaging.

When it's all over, I hope we don't have Chuck Schumer announce that he's like the head of the National Salvation Front or something. Let's come up with a better name.

"Accepting the Cowboy Carter award on Beyonce's behalf is Martin Scorsese for The Departed."

Respectfully, if there's a big thread about bad things and nowhere in it is there any messaging about what you can or should do about it (in any small or large way), you do not have to spend time reading that.

Surprisingly, my grant for discovering the effects of leopards on faces? Still approved and running smooth.

I have finally unlocked the NFL's conspiracy. I discovered the referees are somehow going to their *FIFTYNINTH* straight Super Bowl.

Hearing the national anthem just makes you proud to be an American (per late Saturday executive order)

Kids Baking Championship, starring Hansel and Gretel

Only baseball writer not to vote Ichiro into the Hall of Fame turned out to be Casper Star Tribune reporter Jeannette Rankin

A great NFL playoff weekend. We did it, Joe.

Mark Andrews -- Bless his heart, he's got to be the sickest man in America

I'm not generally given to exaggeration, but this Lions game feels like the most devastating loss at this stage since Jacksonville knocked off Denver in Mile High back in January '97.

Just got Final Jeopardy from the category alone, so I'm gonna take the rest of the month off

In 2023 a bunch of people said next year it's over for you hoes, and then it clearly wasn't, which means either a) those people are lying or b) hoes is beloved actor bob newhart

Steve Martin somehow made the SNL Five Timers Club in a year and a half, like a guy hitting .450 with 1883 rules.

Judy Garland should have been allowed to kill a studio executive of choice by method of convenience

Modern day Charlie Brown Christmas still has him getting laughed at but now ends with him getting tackled walking into school after the other kids read his online manifesto

I don't see how a writer watches Sesame Street and thinks anything other than "you cannot do better than this"

People I Can't Bother To Know In My Own Life *Strongly Encouraged* To Audition

You've reached the limit of your sanity. You are here to do the unthinkable. The only voice speaking to you insists the final peace is at the bottom of the building. Numb, you climb onto the ledge. You close your eyes and take a breath. This is it. Next to you, Third Eye Blind starts playing.

I'm tired, but at least it's settled out on the field. I've watched football for 35 years and I can't tell you how many times I've sat through an overtime game where one team doesn't even get the chance to possess the ball eight times.

Attn Georgia + Georgia Tech: fuck it, kick an XP, what the fuck they gonna do, arrest you

In the last decade, Man City have won 19 trophies. In the last decade versus Spurs, some 25 matches across all comps, City are 11-3-11 with a goal differential of -1 (37-38). #pl

Like Cortes and the ships, but for Twitter. Remember though, Hernan Cortes sucks.

We move to Bluesky and now the Bills have the upper hand? Coincidence? Yes. Trying to follow more fact-based stuff.

I suppose we are also going to welcome Doug Pederson to Bluesky this week.

Delighted to be here.

Hey @kenjennings.bsky.social would like you to do that Jon Lovitz impression on the show even for non Jon Lovitz based clues. Thanks!