i think we should use the power of the state to punish people for being nonchalant and having low cortisol

i wish i was dead

my top three favorite boroughs of new york: 1. new york 2. philadelphia 3. brooklyn 4. the one and only new york city! 5. boston 4. bodegas

elaborate ritual to restore the ur-boy who was sundered in twain by a twisted, malign intellect to create the island boys

im thinking 'brick and mortar' is what the okcupid brand needs to regain it's place in the Zeitgeist

i am begging and pleading for youtube to stop recommending me this horrible, insipid genre phone bad and analog fetishism videos like PLEASE dude 😭😭 every time i hide one of these things four more seem to replace them!!!

you know that one joke about just choosing one guy to hold all the world's debt? we should do that but with all kinds of systemic oppression and choose nux taku specifically

i have tricked you. you are now a fool — that is, an april fool. you are the Thematic Dolt particular to this specific day, and i feel no remorse about these grim cares i have now visited upon you

my mental state is like a jenga tower in a room with train tracks built over it

'person who is on the computer lecturing you about how you're on the computer and need to not be on the computer' is an archetype that i feel should not exist but nevertheless embodies every other person in 2026 for some fucking reason

i miss the pre-2022 internet so fucking bad dude ): i would take back every frustrated word i ever said about it if it meant it would come back

my entire extended family lives in the UK and i would still rather catch falling ashes following a nuclear detonation with my tongue as though they were snowflakes than be ever caught dead in that hellish place

🐱

one day a version of covid or another virus is going to surge to pandemic levels, and many western countries will fail to take it seriously bc of bitter memories about 2020. their citizens will then be specifically barred from entering other countries, and they will howl with indignation about it

'matt bevin' is such a funny name

if something becomes popular enough, it will generate a fandom which will in turn produce a seminal-but-niche work where some or all of the characters are depicted as tumblr sexymen, and i think that's a very beautiful thing

new information from top nintendo leakers suggest that mario will marry peach in the next game, and that the series will be known as 'super prince-consort mario jumpman mario toadstool I bros.' henceforth

sonic the hedgehog has been proscribed by the sulla regime for his purported crimes against the senate and people of rome

is there a single person in the world who would make a decision about what fast food sandwich to eat based on how enthusiastically the CEO bites into it

i think that being david pakman should not be allowed or tolerated in civilized society

every single one of these goobers writes like they're adam jenson narrating the beginning of human revolution

i saw someone post something like 'the promise of beer and baseball is doing some heavy lifting' & it took all my willpower to not quote tweet them like 'ancient romans looking forward to the next bread and games (their cousin just got proscribed the other week so they really need the pick-me-up)'

the kindness luigi powerscaling community

when im in a mumbling-incoherently-over-a-shitty-PA-system competition and my opponent is go transit

the pingle told you to reject the gringles of your bingles and cringles. it was their final, most essential dingle

how did i know that this would have like a million hypocrisy-fishing replies to the effect of 'and what about the r*pist', as if murdering someone for having an abortion would be perfectly fine so long as the predator is also executed

i wonder which album anthony fantano gave a bad review that milo rossi is now mad at him for

his disability was a lot more 'severe' than mine are, to be sure, but i still found stephen hawking incredibly inspiring as an example when i was a teenager, newly diagnosed and promptly shuttled off to an emergency surgery in short order and feeling despondent about it, and then later again when

imagine meeting someone new, coming around to the subject of jobs, and sheepishly having to explain that you write low-effort rage bait on behalf of the least-respectable rag of our time for an audience of autoplay-addled 60 year olds

i think the worst thing about hank green is that he very clearly does not have any values, or at least none that he considers more important than making sure everyone knows that he is the designated level-headed voice of reason in any given room

the fact that i have to be reminded that the falcon pervert exists every so often feels like a human rights violation

had to refer to it as 'spyware anticheat' because i briefly forgot the term 'kernel-level' and that should just be the term imo

my petty and probably not terribly well-justified Prejudice (?) of the day is that i think it's lame when someone under the age of like 62 calls them 'tube tvs' as opposed to 'CRTs'

if go transit cancels my train for the second time in a row and causes me to miss class Again im going to face the gods and walk backwards off the edge of olympus

idea i had

welcome too the Gungle…

FRIEZA (WEARING A GO TRANSIT UNIFORM): ho-ho-ho... hello, monkeys. on our morning commute, are we? how utterly pitiful. do try not to resent me if i take an extremely long time to open the doors in the january cold – i know this is hardly the biome you filthy apes are accustomed to

the whole 'political ideologues as a protected class' thing is so funny bc everyone who claims to adhere to that line of thinking is either a liar, a cretin with no principles, or an actual child who doesn't understand anything being discussed

it's the new zeitgeist you have to know about now: 'feelslop' and the backlash against the full spectrum of human emotion

BREAKING NEWS: Hailey 'Hawk Tuah' Welch has been announced as the new leader of Transnistria until the Moldovan diplomatic agreements are worked out!

crazy noisy bizarre toooooooown

i can't believe that historical weapons depicted in fiction don't always maintain 100% fidelity with reality. that's so bad. i should make like 200 youtube shorts reiterating this point in slightly different ways

very thought-provoking indeed

i grew up in the 2010s, buster, and let me tell you one thing: everyone who disagrees with me is a weird, wrinkly pale freak whose mouth is open in a cringe way and goes 'errrrrrm'. that is my core values and i will not be assailed from them

Digimon stage play goes pretty hard.

Bam Margera had a pretty sick VHS editing station.

a gorilla.. that's gaming? and you're telling me this is THE gaming gorilla? wow!!!!

when i was younger we had different things than the things people have now

christ i forget how terrifying the original squirrel girl looked

everything is so fucking annoying to me now and i have no fucking patience for the constant parade of brainrot garbage cognitohazard right-coded opinions that i am forced to look at every single day