Stephen's brilliant idea of the day: instead of calling today's kids "Gen Beta" we should call them "Gen AI."

When life gives you natural, vitamin-C filled lemons, add water, remove all the fiber, and dump in a shit-ton of sugar

May 8, 2025 - the day the Catholic Church chose its final non-AI pope.

This week: @amandalehr.bsky.social novelizes and Richard Kind narrates, plus @langstonkerman.bsky.social & @mrdavehill.bsky.social - listen at podfollow.com/novelizers

Excited to post this gotcha screenshot when it comes out Trump is using the CIA to spy on his domestic opponents and Rubio defends him.

I don't know what this song is about....

Soon AI will be able to have orgasms for us, because why the fuck not let it do all the fun stuff.

Had to fight off 3 Dire Wolves on the way to work today. This is what happens when we tinker with nature.

One perk of being the president is they let you win the Senior Amateur Club Golf Champion at the club you also own.

President Musk is getting $8 million every day from government contracts while Republicans plan to cut Social Security.

Traditional guardrails won't save us. Congress won't save us. The Courts won't save us. The Voters won't save us. Basically, we're fucked.

I feel like if they just sat down and talked things out, they’d find they have a lot more in common than they imagine. I’m referring to the protestors and the Nazis, of course.

This’ll all be worth it to see Elon get fired in a tweet

Just saw someone order an “egg white” omelette. Eggs are so expensive, he couldn’t even afford the whole egg.

Hackman? More like Consummate-Artist-Man

you can blow your friends, and you can blow your nose, but you can't blow your friend's nose

All things considered, I preferred Kanye’s earlier work.

Now that you have Tubi, watch the ONLY film starring Questlove, Gilbert Gottfried and Jerry O’Connell - tubitv.com/movies/55285...

Decided I’m going to be one of those people who never hits “reply all”

MORE OF THIS!

I don't enjoy boxing, but I do watch unboxing videos in reverse.

meanwhile on X...

Do NOT want to hear you bitching about Mt. Denali being renamed Mt. McKinley if you didn't vote.

I've never wanted anything as much as Chrome wants to be my default browser.

Excited about the Dylan movie's potential to introduce a whole new generation to cigarette smoking.

Q: What status does Satan claim on his tax returns? A: Soul Proprietor

Season 1: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan 📖 Chapter 9: "Yellow Alert" ✨ Written by: @stephenl.bsky.social (The Tonight Show) 🎙 Narrated by: Ira Glass (This American Life) Plus, BTS scoop from @clarklarewjones.bsky.social (Crashing). #TheNovelizers #StarTrek #WrathOfKhan #ComedyPodcast #Audiobook

Going to be reposting all of my fav tweets on here in chronological order to preserve them... Geez, if wearing a clashing tie was an impeachable offense, President George W. Bush would be out of office yesterday.

Just searched for “Levinson” on Bluesky and learned I am the least accomplished Levinson on this entire platform.

INVENT EDIBLE SILICA GEL ALREADY

The thing about the band playing while the Titanic was sinking - the Titanic had a GREAT band, and it took HOURS to sink. Enjoy yourselves people!

Parents need to invent an “On Air” light but for pooping.

Crazy that we can put a man on the moon but we can’t put Donald Trump on the moon.

Is this thing on?