Yeah man, people on a cruise ship were intentionally infected with a virus from Argentina specifically to mess with US elections ✊💦🙄

These virus outbreaks might be a sign there's too many humans. Nature's trying to thin the herd

You can cancel the missing person report, I was just playing Tetris

can i come over and look at you like this

People who didn't (and still don't) understand coronavirus and vaccines are trying to explain hantavirus now 😩

Remember the Eraserhead baby? This is him now. Feel old yet?

Anti-vaxxers need to let themselves die from rabies

Probably an unpopular take but if someone has a persistent hacking phlegmy cough, they should wear a mask in public 🤢

There's still 6.5 hours left

For more Hitler parallels, I hope something so funny happens tomorrow. Just a cute little coinkidink

Is trump trying to boost his popularity with assassination attempts again

Who's spryer: Joe Bob or Mr. Wickie? #TheLastDriveIn

I miss Wally #TheLastDriveIn

For a second I was afraid Joe Bob was gonna say "massive mommy milkers" #TheLastDriveIn

Rawhead Rex is the patron saint of incels #TheLastDriveIn

"ooohhhh, it had to be a woman." -man shockingly learns women can do things #TheLastDriveIn

Do you think he got a boner when Rawhead bit his neck (but not for long because of the blood loss) #TheLastDriveIn

Men aren't even deeply submissive to ancient pagan demons anymore. Now they're deeply submissive to White Jesus and the Epstein class. #TheLastDriveIn

It's all for you, Rawhead Rex *dies* #TheLastDriveIn

Priest immediately submits to Rawhead Rex #TheLastDriveIn

Is it safe to drink that #TheLastDriveIn

"wasn't always, was it?" #TheLastDriveIn

Heard about your son. My thoughts and prayers #TheLastDriveIn

Dad was like "nah, this is as far as I go, he's dead" #TheLastDriveIn

The kid drew Wally!? #TheLastDriveIn

Can this guy die faster #TheLastDriveIn

Most boner-killing display of hetero PDA #TheLastDriveIn

I need a plushie of Wally #TheLastDriveIn

I love how this story is so anti-children that there's a giant penis sucking the escaped spermies back up #TheLastDriveIn

I love the way Clive Barker movies always depict heterosexual romantic and family life in the most nightmarish terms humanly possible. #MutantFam #TheLastDriveIn

🎶Joe Bob's Last Drive-In show Blood, Beasties, Boobies and more Joe Bob's Last Drive-In show It's a spooky marathon With monsters and ghosts Crazy kooky fun With the WORLD'S GREATEST HOST🎶 - 😩🎙️🤘 🖤🖤🖤 #TheLastDriveIn

I want to eat a grape agate or at least lick one. So botryoidal

Thoughts and prayers (for the prostate cancer) 🙏

(watching true crime shows with my husband): thanks for not turning me into a lampshade, love you!

Oof felt this one lol Sometimes I'm just a girl-coded little guy

TRANSIT: sitcom featuring exclusively trans employees working IT jobs for a transit center

The list of ways insects cause plant damage sounds like a string of insults. You wood-boring, sap-sucking, cone-feeding gall formation, you

I love using the phrase "pregnant person" because it summons the cisnormative gender fascists saying "dOn'T yOu MeAn pReGnAnT WOMAN?" and when I ask "are women not people?" they never respond

Can confirm

“birth rates are collapsing”

Singular all y'all

I'm not weak on crime, I'm hard-on crime

But then if you make fun of an objectively ugly person's actual real face, and they happen to be from a genocidal ethnostate, it's not just rude, it's also antiseptic

Some people are just objectively ugly. The vast majority of people surveyed would say "yep, they're ugly" to a picture. No one can pick their parents, the spermie and eggy that fuse, the phenotypic expression of their genes. Making fun of people over something they have no control over is just rude

Synchronizing my brainwave activity with an extraterrestrial

I wonder how much of my life is spent waiting for single-use passcodes

I'm not NOT touching urticating hairs

EFTA00090773: "Zempoli was trying to buy Elite Models with Epstein. Epstein introduced Melania Trump to Donald Trump." EFTA00579769: Melania emails "Dear G!: nice story about JE in NY mag. You look great on the picture" and Ghislaine responds calling her "sweet pea" (term she used for Jeffrey??)

Sometimes you just have to buy a new shirt and give yourself a whore's bath in the pool hall bathroom