ive been told im a great pisser

i must be cock and balls the way life is torturing me

finally some good fucking news

eating an entire melon while youre sick actually hits so hard

literally weezing with every breath

Feliz Viernes

im starting to lose hope that skyrim 2 will ever come out

how many cigarettes i gotta smoke to get hungover

i got grok mpregnant before must could and i made that bitch get an ebortion i dont want no damn half calculator borg kids

edibles are cool but how do i satisfy my oral fixation without sucking on a vape

just ate a gummy 30 mins till i become the maddest reefer

how come nobody ever tells me i got a nice rack

idk why people keep sending me mail like im ever gonna open it

going to work and earning money is for losers

is that what i think it is

everything takes way too fucking long

really need to learn how to yell at people in spanish

haters tryna squish me like a bug

this bike is 78 years old and i think thats neat

my roommate was trying to find the menu for a nearby bagel shop and instead found some of the most iconic slop I've ever seen. thanks food! :)

theyre salting me like a slug later

nobody has ever been as sleepy as i am rn

really fiending for a nice stash of used dinars

i have two kiki cats and one bouba cat

think im finally gonna fix my PC after it being broken for 4 years

i have the worlds one and only poopy labubu

fuck everything

what is the fucking point of people reading a post and replying with a chatgpt response. if i wanted to talk to chatgpt id be doing that not making a post

everytime i see a pic of gavin newsom he looks a darker shade of red

in dire need of a baguette

holy shit my city councilor replied to my email

gm

my boss telling everyone to respond to her messages in a timely manner when she has yet to respond to my message from last week is just 👌

created a new tik tok and it already thinks im a recovering alcoholic with a denzel washington fetish

who up making it worse? 😂

uwu

jorking my shit in the most autistic way possible

its just me and my idle game against the world

i live in such a bad neighborhood everytime i go outside a massive hornet is hanging out near my front door

this might be a self report but why is my discover page full of half naked anime girls

1 like and i create a new twitter account

holy cow 🐄

giving my cat scratches: haha fuck yeah!! yes!! my cat giving me scratches: well this fucking sucks. what the fuck

The feminine urge to have a zweihander on your back

i haven't paid my gas bill in almost a year with this one simple trick... accidentally overpay by hundreds of dollars and then let your credit balance ride ;)

watching baking videos and the food looks so good but i cant eat it and it makes me really jealous but i just realized that im basically making myself a food cuck