i guess i gotta make something or they're gonna kill me soon

everything is just a rape network and i’m scattering my brainmatter across the stars

1. they fall for me 2. they fall for someone more homura than me 3. they leave 4. repeat

neurotypicals treating every mental illness like plurality fuck offfffff

well that was short lived

i think there is something good in the air today

microblogging has destroyed everyday interactions with almost everyone we know. we go days or weeks without being asked a single question. people seem perfectly content talking about themselves without a shred of care for who is listening. just having an empty vessel to speak to seems to be enough.

doesn't it get tiring always being the one to start the conversation?

no marks :< sad days

god made me to be a lolcow but i didnt have the star power to get that kind of attention

#pmmm #madokamagica #madohomu

disability makes it so hard to reliably create i just hope i get the chance to create enough

i just want to feel understood by one person. that’s all it would take, just one. i don’t need a crowd. one soul connecting and resonating

sorry to be mean but i fucking hate hearing non musicians talk about music, it actually sets my teeth on edge unlike other arts, if you aren’t going to provide substantive technical critique you’re just babbling pure subjective nonsense

i can’t be sentimental with people or i lose them and i can’t be sentimental with inanimate objects or i lose them.. so what am i left with? a sick joke

i feel like i don’t deserve to exist when i break nice things

girl hibernation

Screwdriver magic 🪛💞💡

watching things is the last thing i have that makes me feel close to you..

Always remember that listening to music can be the entire activity. Put on headphones. Blast it through speakers. Close your eyes and just listen. Listening to music is not a background activity. It can be the entire journey, and it's worth the time.

SO LIKE EVERY YEAR??

if this january is gonna be like all the others where i get abandoned again just go ahead and put this thing out of her misery

Don’t mind me, just going to be listening to music all day and disassociating from this fucked up world.

its 2026 and all i can do is fall farther and farther away from you

i’ve been spiraling for months because i fear i’m losing the ability to get work done meaningfully. beyond the avolition, it’s like i can’t piece things together in my head like i used to. i waste so much energy on this cycle and fighting through the desire to give up creating because of it

i’m so much more alone than i thought

nobody stays for me

I think you shouldn't exist, I think you are a cancer, I think you represent the death of art and that you are even willing to speak these words shows you are beyond being hypocritical, existing only to make use of people's legalist brainworms, you are worse than piracy

my teeth hurt so fucking bad im so fucked

i just have to make it to new years i just have to make it to new years i just have to make it to new years i just have to make it to new years i just have to make it to new years i just have to make it to new years i just have to make it to new years i just have to make it to new years i just have

my creative block has been insane and i want to delete all my social media and burn everything i’ve ever made and never create anything ever again actually

other artists: “you are doing the best you can as an artist in a time where people dont appreciate human art anymore!! we are all struggling, but we are struggling together!! we got this, don't let the hard times crush your spirits!!” me in a ditch somewhere miles away from home:

it’s evil but sometimes i fantasize about being charlotte

its because i dont make art anymore so i no longer hold value. you think youre worthless? try having your greatest joy, your purpose, suck the life out of you, leave you hollow, and then everyone forgets you exist at the same time your friends and family abandon you for being trans.

god just shut up.. get it together pussy.

there’s something specifically wrong with me that makes people treat me this way

im not allowed to be upset. im allowed to be fragile but not TOO fragile my soulmate shot herself, the rest of my life fell apart, im disabled and unemployed, but all of that is a COMMON CASE. so i have to ATLEAST be strong in this one thing. im not special enough to be an exception nonono

anytime i make anyone feel bad for something they said or did, my response is always “no it’s okay” “you’re fine don’t worry” “no i’m not upset” i instantly switch to consoling. because some part of me doesn’t want anyone to ever feel tge way ive felt its bullshit no one else is as considerate

i give up on the game whether people love me or hate me or are indifferent to me, save it for the eulogy.

i love you so much i hate you for making me feel this way

In much the same way as anyone trans becomes a gender theory expert, I feel like if you're any kind of caring person with harder kinks or problematic taste in fiction you undoubtedly spend your whole life thinking about it, forever working through the shame and morals around it to academic levels

i yearn to be with others like me