my friend from the midwest visited nyc and committed Bagel Crime

Hemlocke springs is giving lesbian my chemical romance

how does nextdoor know where i live and also my email address??

gonna tell my kids this was mega malamar

it's so nice to have a job again

The overlap between swifties and Disney adults should be studied

From the vault, kid iciris

eyes opened or closed at the dentist?

The state of the world is depressing but I just got a new high score in balatro and for a moment everything was okay 🥲

"I know what you did last summer" no...please don't tell everyone how boring I am

this is how i felt fighting for chappell roan tickets 🤺

A local group of Dungeons & Dragons players are reportedly at their wit’s end with a member of their party following the introduction of his new monk character and their tragic backstory. paletteswap.site/dif...

took my vyvanse to get chores done but instead I got a new high score in balatro

"why do you want to work here?" so I can afford to buy lady gaga tickets

everything should cost way less money

The god of the Pokémon universe has confessed that fellow Pokémon Crabominable was created in error. paletteswap.site/dif...

nice shipping label you printed there... maybe you could use it to ship the item idk just spitballing here

a pigeon's wing grazed my leg and now I have to burn it

Fireworks are such a silly thing we do

I've never seen a hornier bunch of people #loveisland

literally love Island

Selena Gomez Oreos (Game Boy Camera, 2025)

the way I'm moving around this cafe with my laptop like a vulture looking for the best spot. I was at a table by the milk and straws for a half hour. Moved one table over but then 5 mins later these 2 tech bros left a cozy little corner booth and I sprang to action.

someone tell me why the tiny chef news has me in my feels

Andrew Cuomo is most famous for sexually harassing a lot of women and getting thousands of old people killed. And yet he really, genuinely thought that he’d easily win on people knowing who he was.

Love island is like high school spin the bottle mixed with a sex cult

just found out I have to get a tooth extracted and I'm so scared you guys :(

I'm having a good hair day therefore it must start raining as soon as I step out the door

once I get a job it's over for all you bitches (the bitches is my rent)

my road runneth over

ok fine I'll watch sex and the city

If I was in the substance I just wouldn’t have taken it. None of that bad shit would have happened

Switch 2 NOT baddie friendly!! My nail got stuck when clicking the controller in 💅 👿

Started at 100cc but tbh I wasn’t consistently getting first so downgraded to 50 for my first run through 🙈 you don’t have to be insanely good at video games to enjoy them lol

Living my best life

why did they both stop posting. get back to it boys

funniest day online since the billionaire submersible went missing

A woman working at Sephora just told me I have really nice skin and I I think it’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me ever. Idk if she just wanted the credit for my sale but you know what cici you got it flattery will get you everywhere

why do I keep getting twitch ads in spanish? porque??

I can't believe people think that using LLMs to write isn't destroying their critical thinking abilities. I'm like 5% dumber just because of spellcheck.

i got a lasagna but forgot the default is a meaty one and my jewish guilt has me gagging at the texture of these little meat flakes. no good lasagna goes unpunished

man, this mission is impossible - me in mission impossible

anyone wanna hire me? asking for a friend, who wants to see their friend get a job

do pigeons have friends? they're always boppin around by themselves

pilates is great. you get to exercise while laying down

Coincidence? I think not

Atlantic city is like temu Vegas

Anyway