"I need new shoes they... really stink."

/ Obvi I'm bored at work OOF

“𝘉𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘙𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘧.”

/ Honestly reading newer Spider-Man comics I'm just waiting for Peter to look at the reader like on The Office with the amount of wild ridiculous shit Peter goes through in every issue.

I'd send my condolences through a postcard. Somehow.

I mean sure but... are you prepared to have another variant of Disturbed?

That's the neat part, you can't!

"Who knew I could pass on such wisdom."

"At least it's for entertainment purposes... I guess."

"What articles have you been reading?"

/ Accurate representation of me playing Spidey and my Psylocke is saying this in chat.

"I miss the great disturbances, now it's weirdly quiet."

"Actually? Me too. It's safe to say that I've been officially Disturbed."

"Okay but why?"

"Who's playing all this music at this hour? Some of us are still trying to sleep."

/ @ work, hit me up, let's chat or banter 🫶

/ Not me being half way through the first ep of DD: Born Again and just wanting to pick up Matt as muse. 😵‍💫

"Sure, but ya could'a called first. Have we been feeling nostalgic lately, big guy?"

Less billionaires, more bugs.

"Uhh I wasn't expecting you to be here ( reader )..."

" 𝐈'𝐦 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭. 𝐓𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬. "

/ @ work, hit me up, let's chat or banter 🫶

"Your sister seems smart, although risks will always find you if you have luck like mine."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀꒷◠꒦︶꒷꒷꒥꒷◡꒷꒦꒷◠꒷︶꒦◡ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝙒𝙀 𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝙑𝙀𝙉𝙊𝙈.ᐟ ⠀

"Why is there someone dressed like me in the middle of Time Square repeating the same thing over and over again at his phone?"

/ I have something to confess.......... I've probably played Spider-Man for about a whooping total of 10 mins outside of the 250 hrs I have in Rivals 😭 I'm a fake guys fr.

"It's not something you'd want everyone knowing anyways. I get it."

"Breakfast of champions."

"Another morning, another crime stopped. Who says you need to do your cardio when you're chasing down someone."