Seriously this is the closest I’ve ever come to apologising to my little brother for making fun of how much he loves pop punk

He no givis, he only—

I drew a Cool S in 19.91 seconds, rating 🌡️ Lukewarm vole.wtf/cool-s/

you call it diarrhoea I call it

Cover by Victor Pazmiño.

In the thirty-five years since Jim Henson’s death no one they’ve paid to do it professionally has come even half this close to nailing the voice

POV you're writing a science fiction screenplay but you're married to someone who Actually Knows Science

Part of the fun of being from the South is there really is no way to predict what’s gonna stir that irrational urge to stick up for the South I haven’t eaten ham in over 20 years ffs why did this trigger my Oh Hell Naw response so hard 😂

Some sage advice from your elder: the day you think to yourself “should I get a nose hair trimmer?” means you needed one six months ago.

When I arrive at the party

Am-dram is another cool fun opportunity of this Halfway through the run of Richard III earlier this year the director made the offhand observation that I was the oldest member of the cast, and like, I was perfectly fine with not having noticed that ALEX

Now starting my third attempt, thus far the names I've chosen for my self-storage business have been: Hammerspace Honolulu Self-Storage Big Alf Holden's Bag Of Holding wgx.github.io/storage-lords/

The most rock n roll I ever felt in my touring-band days was before a show in Manhattan, upstairs in the green room while a full on party atmosphere was already going downstairs, feeling so so grateful that I’d found a stretch of clean bare floor big enough to take a nap

On the tube home from Leicester Square Theatre, hey @pftompkins.bsky.social tell your mates thank you from me for dragging Thrilling Adventure Hour out of retirement and across the ocean so I could see it live. Never thought that’d happen.

As attempts to save a dying mall go, you could do a lot worse than “fuck it, ping pong”

One week out from opening night of this play I’m doing music direction for and as grateful as I am for this opportunity (an opportunity that I myself chased)… jfc I don’t want to hear another Noel Coward song for like a year minimum

This is directly related to how pineapple sometimes stings the inside of your mouth if you eat too much of it, btw. Pineapple stings for the same reason it’s often paired with ham. You, too, are made of meat, and therefore are also susceptible to being tenderized.

I had my first ever persimmon this week. My assessment: what if tomato, but mango

Why the hell is Ashley Padilla STILL a Featured cast member, don’t we have enough injustices to worry about already

I have been a fan of and advocate for unapologetic bombast for years. Years? Nay, decades. My record will bear this out. So why the hell didn't any of you tell me about Coheed and Cambria

Say what you want about Star Trek: The Motion Picture it was an absolute master class in “how do we make this orifice not look like a butthole”

…and today’s the day I learned he always wears glasses because he has wee lil Milhouse Van Houten eyes, yikes 🫤

So, Mamdani does something here from 0:32 to 1:42 which feels really important and intentional (to me) and it’s something I wish more people did when talking about this: he connects all of these points with “and” and never once uses the word “but”

Legit thought this was some kind of esoteric folk spirit of fertility, out performing his demigodly duties, jizzin upon the wheat fields

sometimes people they ask me Langdon they say how do you endure the bleakness of days and hard silences of night, the gaps in thought where god should speak but does not and I’m like are you stupid. I feel very bad. that’s what I do. how dumb are you. I’m alive and I feel bad. come on

Happy 10yr anniversary to Every Open Eye: here’s me in 2021, mere days before moving to London, on the way to sell my car, and realising on the drive there that this would be the last time for the foreseeable future I’d have a semi-isolated room with a decent sound system all to myself

Cleaning out my mom’s garage, someone ask @deadmilkmen.bsky.social if they want a website printout from 2006

Being in your 40s now = you spent your early/mid teens trying and failing to “get” the “meaning” in the music you were drawn to but it’d be years before you had enough hindsight and context to understand that it wasn’t your fault, 90s alt rock was just wall to wall musical dadaism all the time

I know what they *tried* to do here but all I see is a crash test dummy with fat tiddies 😔

I’m back in the states for a week

Slightly diminish a book: The Return of the Prince The 1.75 Towers The Fellowship of the Arc

One good thing about music streaming services is even if you don’t like “Nothing Else Matters” you always have the tools on hand to tune a guitar

Every time this guy shows up on screen I start screaming “HEY, HEY, HEY, THE EYEBALL KID” from Tom Waits’s “Eyeball Kid”

We’re about 72 hours out from realizing that Graham Greene has just kicked off the greatest Rule Of Threes in history

Obama Dubya Biden and Clinton in the group chat going full Prisoner’s Dilemma with how funny it’ll be if none of them attend

Sometimes I think about trying to get back into mine and archive some stuff but then I remember what I was Actually Like when I was 20

today’s Google Doodle is the face on my cellar floor right over the cistern that comes back more and more agonized every time i try to scrub it away

My headstone is gonna be all like HERE LIES MARSHALL IN 2011 HE LOST AN ARGUMENT ABOUT KUROSAWA

Aside from all the other obvious dunks on this guy, “I only want to have conversations about the shit I’m already familiar with” sounds fucking boring as hell Can you imagine being this disinterested in learning new things, what a fucking waste of your one life

My wife, after I read this to her out loud: “…that could have waited.”

oh yeah? can AI writing and art do this?? (disappoints my parents)

Maybe the garlic press is just jealous of the garlic

Hello, I’m an “indie” musician in a film. No one in this band has rich parents. Go ahead and stash this movie on the same shelf with The Hobbit and In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

Ozzy AND Hulk Hogan, this is 9/11 if you grew up in a town with one Dairy Queen

Me with a late night bowl of cereal staring at my calorie counter app waiting for the clock to flip over to 00:00

Yo my plus-one dropped out for @jackiekashian.bsky.social at the Bill Murray tonight, any takers, i'm damn good company

Uh the word you’re looking for is “paypig”

An unexpected facet of how goddamn good Star Trek: Strange New Worlds is, is that I can feel it giving me a better appreciation for TOS.

as a gainfully employed man in his forties who still occasionally purchases band t-shirts there are certain expectations of me which i have not been meeting, and for that I apologize

The best part about a Colbert presidency is that he would absolutely revoke all contracts to Anduril, Palantir, etc purely out of disgust at their misappropriation of Tolkien.