Mamaaaaa, ooooooooohhh, I’m a little guy, I sometimes wish that I was really tall (guitar solo)

Calling James Harden “The Beard” is synecdoche

The Sazzanah Bazzanas, is that anything?

“We’re gonna need a bigger butt” - Sir Mix-a-Lot

A bookstore run by former inmates called “Prose & Cons”

So we’re saying that pyros like a different kind of porno than everyone else?

Newport Beach, CA

The three decker toadstool and sauerkraut sandwich honestly sounds not bad w/o the arsenic sauce of course

I like my feed being just all baseball at this witching hour

Google AI just gave Addison Barger a 48% chance to get a hit before his AB started and the announcers were NOT buying it

I’ve been insulting these potatoes for like 10 minutes now but it’s really hard to tell if they’re thin skinned

Gas money? Thanks but I prefer mine in solid form

The grammar police goes to war with the army it has, not the army it’s got

Consarn it

Our lead is disappearing into thin air / better call Rudy with the Gobert

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly. He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye. He waited his whole damn life to take that flight. And as the plane crashed down, he thought oh fuck oh fuck fuck no shit motherfucker fuck fuck fuck fuck FUUUUUUUUCK

More fake news from the liberal media, Monster Island is actually a peninsula

Oh you ran a marathon? That’s nice. Me I’ve only run one race in my life. The HUMAN race

Are we Tony or are we Danza?

If you ever stop and think about why and how we are here on earth and have consciousness it becomes so terrifying that you really just have to stop and watch some basketball

Updated version of Darmok and Jalad for a society that communicates only through memes

🎵 I'm the hated Cybertruck Everybody hates me now 🎵

Where the skeets have no name

After years of research I can confirm that O Holy Night by the Sheila Divine is the definitive version

We are in a golden age of young, fun stars in the NBA and MLB and the NFL has what … 28 year old Josh Allen? Lamar and Saquon, both 27? Justin Jefferson, 25 … what player has entered the league in the last 4 years that anyone is excited about?

Not today, Santa

Lookit this krazy kloud

I don’t believe for a second that the ox and lamb kept time. To begin with

I am struggling to decide whether to keep Don’t Shoot Me Santa by the Killers on my Christmas playlist … I love the killers so yes, but the song is pretty dumb, so no, but there’s also a really nice part where Brandon flowers sings “in the sweet Mojave rain/the boy was on his own” so I’m stuck

This guy gives zero fucks

The real Soylent green was all the people we ate along the way

Look at this weird ass goose

The most Elton John thing ever is to start your Christmas song by singing “Welcome to my Christmas song”

Jackin’ the Beanstalk?! You’re telling me this is supposed to be a book for KIDS?

Just shouted “not today, Satan!” At the false bike path exit that sometimes tempts me on my ride to work

All jokes aside it's really fucked up to see so many people on here celebrating murder. No one here is the judge of who deserves to live or die. That's the job of the AI algorithm the insurance company designed to maximise profits on your health and no one else

When I go down to the village with a broomstick in my hand I ain’t doing no snowman shit

I like my chicken wings like my baby Jesus : tender and mild

Hot frosty 2 the grinch who SWOLE Christmas

Have yourself a Rocky Biddle Christmas

And Jesus said to Peter you will hawk tuah three times before the cock grows

Saw a flight on the board arriving from somewhere called “Silver City” on something called “Advanced Air” and I’m pretty sure this refers to a secret magical airline for wizards and was put up on the regular human arrivals by mistake

Who is the best guy named Thurl of all time? I’m thinking of Ravenscroft or Bailey but surely there must be others … right?

My dog just talked to me in the Son of Sam way but she just wanted me to order Papa John’s? Just for pizza reasons. Nice. Not bad. The Son of Sam guy had a bad dog

How long ….. I’ve waited here for you (to be fired) …. Eberflus

Thinking back to the VP debate when Tim Walz really really wanted to say something as simple as “immigrants are good” but clearly was holding back against his better judgment, and weeping for the future (I am weeping and presumably also Walz has been at some point)

Crazy cloud near AZ/NM border

Tired of giving, I want thanksgetting this year

The system is not designed to facilitate big, sweeping change. It is designed to maintain the status quo. Any victorious party will inevitably disappoint their adherents, and we will continue to futilely vacillate, unless major structural change occurs. The system is designed to prevent that too.