I'm inside MSG right now and Dolan is telling me everyone is allowed to sleep over tonight. "Don't let cops stop you," he's saying, "they're just jealous their parents said no."

I've had the killer last line before a blackout in an improv scene, so I know how OG is feeling. Hard to describe to anyone not in "the biz".

If the Knicks win on Saturday I think everyone should take a piece of MSG and move it one block over.

if I were these fish, I would vote

I know just the Halloween store to step in after.

Oh we can't even say "cum" anymore??

Right now, high levels of the US government are debating if they can just make a big fake "Nuke" button for Trump to push, then show clips of Oppenheimer.

It is with a heavy heart that I announce my wedding website, www.weddingeddon.com, was not selected by The Webby Awards. In response I will be organizing a "No Webbys" non-peaceful protest outside data centers across the country.

Thinking about becoming a Big Johnson guy and making him a woke hero.

Michael B Jordan and Delroy Lindo deserve nothing but respect and apology. BAFTA failed to provide the correct care for the people in their show, including John Davidson. Wish people would stop telling those of us with Tourette's & OCD that we deserve to stay away from the public or die!

huge if true

See you assholes later, I'm out of this universe

Reminder: It's not too late for ICE officers to do something else: jobsforice.com

If you google the movie Remember Me, it creates an entirely new movie where a man is so sad about his son's suicide he orchestrates and dies in 9/11 to give his other son something to think about.

Do you like apples?

nowhere to post bad ideas anymore

Looks like Cuomo brought a bag lunch to his concession speech, smart.

As of this month, the screens in NYC's yellow taxis are now playing national news from Newsmax—the ultra-conservative media outlet known for pushing baseless election fraud claims.

There's really no place to vent about this but I saw a 25th anniversary screening of Battle Royale last night and it *opens* with a 10 minute retrospective that spoils every major plot point in the movie, including the entire last scene. This is not the heartbreak Nicole Kidman was talking about!

Visiting his house proves that Trotsky was once again ahead of his time.

It's a small victory but I actually fixed a busted crown release on a quartz movement tonight. This will almost never come in handy in the apocalypse.

Still thinking about The Naked Gun dropping a revolutionary heightening button on us during the car scene and wondering if this is what it felt like when the atom was discovered.

you're all laughing, but Cuomo is only doing this because he's caught in a deadly game of Simon Says to prevent a series of bombs from blowing up in NYC

if you're flying high and feeling real energized today, it's a good time to put that into community defense and mutual aid babyyyy let's go

ahh yeah here he comes, andrew cuomo himself, looks like he brought a bag lunch, smart

I never read the harry potter books but what was the big draw for folks? spells and friendship? genuinely interested

The 'Ope

okay let me try: the tariffs are coming back now.

I'm getting more and more convinced we need a coordinated push of calling people on the right "losers" and "weird" again. It really upset them more than anything I've seen in year.

It seems like Luigi Mangione was the exact type of voter the Harris campaign was targeting.

Apparently our drafts are "evidence" now?

Got some blood work back and my doc said "Your serotonin levels are currently 10 ng/mL (Normal levels 31-207 ng/mL)." Buddy, I've been on antidepressants for 10 years and I wasn't allowed to have coffee for three days before the test, be lucky you found any at all.

x-rays are haunting btw. don't show me all those bones, man.

I broke my toe ending a 38-year streak of never breaking a bone. Somehow this is the Dems fault.

Hey so this is a weird first thing to post but just letting you know if it isn't obvious I am a non-binary person, I don't like being a public person and I'm so familiar/comfortable with he/him at my pronouns, both things have made me hesitant to make a grand announcement about this...

if you are one the many no-named posters STAY IN LINE

Slowly but surely I will pay off my student loans with bad tshirts

Will I ever stop trying to fuck

I've been unsuccessful so far in convincing my fiancée we should have a wildlife documentary photographer for our wedding.

Truth coming out of the bass pro shop

Made another flower pot

practicing my confidence with spam texts

Don't love when my phone tries to convince me I'm dead.

I feel like I'm going bonkers. Every weekend has massive storms being predicted and every weekday is like 90 degrees and bright. What is going on?

Going to immediately ruin my reputation on here by saying I didn't like the Fishes episode of The Bear.

I wanted to up my flower game on our balcony this year so I added some tiered planters and flag poles for stringing lights. The the flag poles made it impossible to use the tiered planters with normal pots, so I bought a 3d printer and spent a month learning to make ones that would fit.

Hoping to see how much I can make selling this on a shirt. Missed the sweet spot for Father's day, but grifting is timeless.